Reflections of a Pensive Mind

2009

2009-03-03T16:29:00.002+05:30

It’s quite unbelievable that we are already in the 3rd month of 2009. It seems as if it was yesterday only, that I returned to Mumbai after a couple of years in Sydney to settle here for good. But a closer examination reveals that it’s been almost 2 years since I have been living in this pothole a city, where we live in potholes, work in potholes and drive over potholes. Ok, too many potholes...

Somehow life has been an assimilation of 5-year cycles for me – where the first 2 years are damn good, the next 2 years are painful and the last year is moderate. Looking back, 1999 and 2000 were awesome years for me. I was in high school in what I look back fondly as the ‘wonder years’ of my life. Life had everything – no responsibilities, no tension, a close circle of friends, a buzzing high-school social circuit (read: girls, alcohol, parties, school fests, etc etc).

2001 and 2002 was when life took a drastic turn and everything that could go wrong went wrong. When I still look back, I can’t fathom how I could manage to pull myself such a tough phase of life. I prefer not to talk or even think about that period, but those were the 2 years that made me a man, at all of 20 years of age. 2003 was a period of transition – I moved to Bangalore for my post grad and into a completely new world.

Now onto the second cycle – 2004 and 2005 were spent on mostly on campus and partly on the beaches of Sydney. Campus time, as we all know, is the best time of our lives. It’s a time of youthful enthusiasm, of limitless alcohol, of night-long parties followed by day-long hard work (or vice versa), of everlasting friendships and of an overwhelming feeling of camaraderie and community. In short, it’s the last couple of years of youth before we fall prey to our mundane work lives, which spring us into old age before we even realize. Needless to say, for me too, it was the best period of my life.

2006 was when chaos started setting in on the work as well as personal front. 2006 was when I also made the decision to return to India and finally moved to Mumbai in 2007 into a completely new line of work. The first year at work was full of turmoil as I struggled to juggle multiple balls in the air, even without knowing how to juggle. 2008 was moderate – The bad part was that all was quiet on the work front, but the good thing was that it translated into new friendships and also into my first long holiday (Ladakh).

So that brings us to 2009. Going by the historical technical chart of my life, 2009 should be a super year. And yes – so far it has turned out to be just that. Suffice to say that I could not be happier with life (touchwood) at the moment, and I hope I can overturn the cyclicality of my life, and make this last longer than 2 years. Cheers to a happy 2009!

Afterthought: I realize that this is as personal a blog-post as I have ever written. Kind of breaks my rule of not making this a personal diary. But for once, I’ll let it be…

What can you and I do?

2008-12-02T15:42:00.004+05:30

After feeling myriad emotions pass through my system, including fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, etc, the over-riding emotion that I am left with is that of helplessness. As a common man, I am powerless beyond a point, when it comes to contributing constructively in this time of crisis. And after I am done donating blood and donating money, all I am left to do is light candles, wear black armbands and indulge in mass-scale bashing of the politicians, the bureaucracy and the media.

Every place that I have been to in the last 3-4 days has had one common characteristic – a raging frustration, or rather fury, towards the government and towards politicians as a whole. Be it the office cafeteria, the dinner table at home, the conference room, the friend’s house or even the online world – everyone is indulging in a scathing criticism of the politicians.

Which reminds me that there is one more small thing that you and I can do, after we are finished lighting candles – We can vote.

Sounds lame, does it? But it’s not. Our vote is our only weapon and it can be a potent one, if used with reasonable rationality, and unity of purpose. Can my one vote make a difference? No, which is why I am appealing to you, and to everyone to join me in voting, and voting with a purpose. If we do that, we can make a difference, and I'll give you an example of how...

For years, the mystery behind the existence of ‘minority politics’ has baffled me. When I was quite young, I failed to understand how a community, which is minority by definition and existence, can be such a major cog in the political wheel? So much, that political parties give precedence to appeasing them, than to appeasing the majority.

The answer actually is quite simple. The so-called minority (with due respects) has 2 fundamental characteristics which the majority lack –

They vote
They vote with reasonable unity

Given this, it is always easier to target them for votes because they are going to vote in large numbers and they are going to vote (very simply) for the party which will have a more favourable stance towards them.

On the other hand, the so-called majority is completely fragmented. A large section of people do not vote, and the balance which do vote, have completely disjointed objectives. There has never been one common parameter among this group which is the driver for getting their votes. This has ensured that the community which we call the minority, is effectively the single-largest vote bank in our country. Ironically, they hold simple majority!

There is a lesson in this for all of us – on how we can influence policies by making our vote count. And now, this crisis has given us the perfect opportunity to unite in our objectives, and make our national security that one common issue which will decide the election outcome.

Let’s face it – there can be no end to bashing of the politicians and the system. After all, we live in an imperfect world. Our country is far from perfect, and the flaws will not cease to exist overnight. But we keep focusing our anguish on factors that are beyond our control, in the short run at least. So these will continue to exist in the immediate future, however much we might bash it.

Majority of our politicians will remain jokers, who will continue to be driven by their personal motives. Our electoral system will neither allow us to elect a national leader, nor will it allow us to register a material non-vote (please ignore all the 49-O mails that you have been getting). Multiple parties will co-exist and it will be coalitions, rather than public vote, which will decide the new leadership. Any change, however progressive it might be, will be met with obstacles. These are things we cannot change overnight.

However, there are certain things which we can change. We can change the percentage of the voter turnout. We can change the reasons which drive our decision to vote for a particular party. We can, in our own small way, attempt to introduce some form of meritocracy and accountability into the system. And the starting point is our decision to vote.

By threatening our existence and our right to life, the terrorists have pushed us towards a very binary decision. Very simply, my vote will go to the party which appears more capable of providing me with basic security. Through whatever means. Economic reforms, better education, lower taxes, better infrastructure, etc will not move the needle. It’s safety first for me.

It is in these times that our famed ‘resilience’ (read: nonchalance) scares me. I don’t want us to be resilient and move on. I want us to remember this incident firmly, so that our national security gets the prominence it deserves. If our politicians cannot give this issue the deserved significance, it is our duty as the public, to remind them of it. If we demand it with unity, the politicians have no choice but to make it their top-agenda. And signing online petitions and lighting candles won’t help. It’s time to make our vote count.

As I said earlier, a common man cannot do much. But the common man possibly can. Change will be sluggish, of course. It might take years, even decades for our system to change and reach the kind of efficiency we need. But let’s at least start the process.

PS: If you have not voted before, or are not on the electoral rolls, or are clueless about how to register yourself, please go to www.jaagore.com.

The Death Wish

2008-11-27T23:22:00.001+05:30

So, we are caught in the midst of another event, which conceptually has become quite regular in our lives, but is quite unique when you get into specifications. There are so many things that are running through my brains – so many thoughts, almost overflowing from my mind, but there’s no point in even trying to articulate them.

A few days back I saw a movie called Dasvidaniya, in which Vinay Pathak finds out that he is going to die in another 3 months and makes his final wish list of 10 things he wants to do before he dies. If ever I were in such a situation, and had ONE wish before I die, that wish would be as follows:

I would want to kill a terrorist with my bare hands.

I am serious – I would want to lay my hands on a f*cking terrorist (it would be a bonus if he were from across the border), slash off his balls, castrate him and strangle him with my bare hands till I would have killed not only his body but his spirit too. I am dead serious.

While we are talking about spirits, I am also bracing myself for the hail-the-spirit-of-Mumbai and kudos-to-Mumbai-resilience tirades. Each time I hear this, I feel like puking… Anyway, all the best and Godspeed!

The rise of Sun-Sunny

2008-11-18T19:04:00.005+05:30

Have you guys noticed that suddenly, out of nowhere, Sunny Deol has sprung up and become the pin-up boy for comedians and mimicry artists? The guy is all over the place, be it TV, radio, stand-up comedy, advertisements, anything – and that too at the fag end of his career.

I still remember how I had to pull over and stop my car on one return journey from office, just so that I could control my laughter when I had first heard the hilarious “Sun-Sunny” snippet on Big 92.7 FM. This one has a tagline which has a Sunny Deol voice go – “Yeh sansani nahi, yeh sun-sunny hai”, and has a rather nervous Sunny talking to his dad about his insecurities. For example

Sunny – Papa, papa, maine suna hai ki Shiney Ahuja ek party me gaya tha aur use kisine pehchana nahi…
Dharmendra – (Sound of a bottle opening and a drink being poured)
Sunny – Papa, kahin mere saath aisa to nahi hoga na, papa? Ki mujhe party me log na pehchane?
Dharmendra – (Burps)
Sunny – Main isiliye daadhi-moochh waali filmen karne se darta tha papa… Batao na papa, batao na… kahin mere saath aisa nahi hoga na?
Dharmendra – (Snoring)
Sunny – Papa, papa?!?! Lagta hai fir se so gaye...

I know this sounds rather lame on paper, but has been done quite hilariously on air. At least it had the initial impact, before it became quite regular. Another channel, I think Red FM, came up with a counter, which was called “Fun-funny” and tried to portray a happier Sunny, and another channel came up with yet another Sunny Deol spoof!

Coming to television, do you remember the side-splitting image of Sunny portrayed by Suresh Menon in various spoof shows, esp Kaun Banega Champu, where he comes fully replete with a torn khakhi dress, black headband, and pointed finger that Sunny sported in the forgettable film Jeet, and did the unforgettable insect-killing jig on Yaara-O-Yaara with a not-so-feminine Karisma Kapoor?

Ages ago, when a little kid, I used to love mimicry artists. I was one of those people who would throw a tantrum for the Johnny-Lever audio cassette, and would religiously be glued to the telly on film awards nights, because some artist or the other would perform a mimicry show. I would intently listen to the impersonations and try to pick up the trick for each character.

The attempts at mimicry initially drew a lot of ridicule, primarily because at 12 years of age you have no voice to do an imitation. But at age 16, armed with a fully developed masculine voice, similar attempts drew applause. At the risk of sounding immodest, I will have to say that I was good at it.

In high school, we used to win the skits and impoofs at most school festivals – and apart from the fact that me, and another buddy possessed the perfect brains for churning out crass original humour (a talent that led me to consider a career in B-grade moviemaking), the fact that between 2-3 of us we could impersonate almost every artist worth his salt, made the difference.

I could do a good Amitabh, Dharmendra, Shatrughan Sinha, Raj Kumar, Shahrukh, Jagdeep, Asit Sen, Feroz Khan, Amjad Khan, and a strictly ok Dev Anand, Sanjeev Kumar, Sanjay Dutt, and Mithu Chakraborty. Another guy in the gang could do a great Mithun (complete with the dance jig), another did a good Sanjeev Kumar. Between us, we could enact the entire Sholay in almost real voices (even Basanti and Mausi!).

I learnt early that mimicking was not so much about copying a voice, as it was about copying a diction. More importantly if you could copy those one or two quirks well, it was more than half the job done. For example, the way Dharmendra used to say kutte, kameene and haraamzaade, the way Amitabh used to follow most sentences with a ‘Hain’, the way SRK used to quaver his voice, the way Feroz Khan said ‘Dad’ and the way Shatru said ‘Khamosh!’

Jaaved Jaffrey used to be my god – I still think he’s got the best sense of humour among the people who claim to have a comic streak. While most people would be cracking up at the imitations, I would be trying to analyze it and figure out how to do it, and then practice in the solitude of the toilet.

However, I firmly believe that some talents wear away with time. Having had no practice for almost 8-10 years, I was recently put into an embarassing spot in a public setting (albeit in a small group) with a - "He does really good impressions - you should have seen him in school" followed by "Show us at least one impersonation". The nervous AB gig that I reluctantly did sounded more like Tusshar Kapoor!

The point is, that I used to possess relative expertise in this field, compared to the every-day guy. And even with this ‘supposed’ expertise, I had never imagined that one day, Sunny Deol would become a guy people would imitate and mimic! His rise as the mimic-pin-up-boy has been completely unforeseen and mercurial. Here’s to the Sun-Sunny and wishing him luck in his latest avatar.

PS: On a slightly related note, a couple of days back we were discussing the acting capabilities (or the lack thereof) of Sunny-paaji –
A: Show me one good role or one good movie that he has done apart from Ghayal?
Me: Why don’t you show me one guy other than him, who could pull off a scene where he has to uproot a hand pump with his bare hands and f*ck the happiness of an entire nation with it?

Fashion - Kinda Disappointing

2008-11-03T16:14:00.003+05:30

Some of my friends are of the opinion that I have changed over the last couple of months. They cannot believe that I have let movies like Drona, Karzzzzz, Kidnap, etc pass without a viewing. Its hard for them to come to terms with the fact that its been weeks since they received the dreaded phone call from me, pleading them to watch a lousy Hindi movie which they wouldn’t have dreamt of watching otherwise.

It’s true – Unwittingly, I have become choosier about the movies that I watch lately. Over the last couple of months, I have stayed away from most lousy flicks and haven’t had to plead or blackmail any of my friends to accompany me - till last week, when I did place the SOS to a few people for Heroes. (But that was only because it was a movie based on the armed forces!)

Anyway, the point is that Fashion was a flick that I watched after a reasonable drought of Hindi films, and with a lot of expectations. But, I was disappointed. I’m not saying that Fashion is not a good movie. It probably is. Like most Bhandarkar movies (unlike Corporate though) it is well-researched and has been carried through by excellent performances from most of the cast. Still, I stood disappointed.

We have all referred to Madhur Bhandarkar as a maker of ‘realistic’ films. However, this realism is not his USP. There are many such ‘realistic’ filmmakers in our country – Govind Nihalani, Prakash Jha, to name a couple. Madhur’s USP is his cynicism. He is someone who does not believe in happy endings and is quite content (maybe even delighted) to end his stories on the most pessimistic note possible.

This cynicism is what I liked most about Madhur Bhandarkar’s films, and it’s not only because I am a cynic myself. In times, when every film that you see tries to end on an optimistic or hopeful note (if not a happy note), he was the only one who had the courage to portray the harsh fact of life – that there may not always be light at the end of the tunnel.

Classic example of this cynicism was the protagonist in Chandni Bar - Mumtaz, who was subject to bar-dancing, violence, rape by her uncle, murder of her husband, and still saw no light at the end of the tunnel. She had to revert to bar-dancing and could not prevent her son from becoming a killer and her daughter from becoming a bar-girl. Even in Page 3, bad things keep happening to good people till the very end, and in Corporate too, good does not triumph over evil in the end.

So, when I saw Priyanka Chopra getting a hold over herself and strutting the ramp with full poise and élan in the final sequence in Fashion, my disappointment knew no bounds. Sadly, Bhandarkar falls prey to the typical feel-good mentality and ends the film on a very uncharacteristic note – optimism.

Madhur has oft been criticized for his narration capabilities, where he fails to seamlessly weave together sub-plots of various characters into a cohesive storyline. While he has tackled that weakness quite well in Fashion, it has come at a cost of making the film at least an hour too long.

Bottomline - I would recommend people to watch it, purely for the performances. But be armed with a lot of patience, because when the film reaches a point where you think you’ve had enough, you realize that it’s only the interval. Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost…

From Bettor to Worse?

2008-10-16T09:24:00.002+05:30

Close your eyes and try imagining a guy who had bet on Ganguly scoring a half century in the first innings at 1-3 odds (bugger missed it by 3 runs) and had bet on Tendulkar breaking Lara’s world record at 1-4 odds (dawg fell 15 runs short). What do you see? Maybe the hare from the Hare and Tortoise fable? Or maybe the stalking hunter from Bugs Bunny who invariably falls flat on his face at the last moment?

But I don’t see them cartoon characters, ya buggers. I see myself, and an angry, irked, frustrated version of myself! I can now relate to the agony that Tom in Tom & Jerry would be feeling, and the anguish that would be overwhelming Bluto in Popeye, after they see their nemesis turn the tables at the last minute and have the last laugh.

Anyway, coming back to the point of the post – over the last few days (my most recent failures notwithstanding), I have shown tremendous promise in the gambling/betting community through my performance and my grit and determination. So much, that the Syndicate has decided to honour me with a promotion.

So ladies and gentlemen, I am no longer your regular-next-door-bettor (Hindi translation: Khiladi). From now on, I have been bestowed with the title of “Ze Punter” (Hindi translation: Sattori). If this sector was more corporatized, I would have got my own office and personal secretary too.

For people oblivious to the betting/punting world, let me explain the hierarchy to you, in ascending order:

1. The Once-in-a-blue-moon Bettor (Hindi: Chaman Khiladi)
Description: This variety generally does not bet. But they generally have a very strong view on the future turn of events (eg. Aaj to Dravid fifty maarega hi), but they wouldn’t put their money where their mouth is, unless their ego is challenged beyond a limit (eg. Mard hai to 100 Rs laga ke dikha)
Risk Appetite: Very low till tipping point, depends on ego-size post that

2. The Wannabe Bettor (Hindi: Chooza Khiladi)
Description: These are fence-sitters, who will keep a close eye on all betting incidents happening in the vicinity, but rarely do they make a transaction. They are knowledgeable about the market, but take only occasional and small punts. Maybe they are afraid that their wives/girlfriends will find out and will beat them up.
Risk Appetite: Very Low

3. The Occasional Bettor (Hindi: Chhota Khiladi)
Description: They go for value picks only. Usually do not take outlying scenarios and play safe. Are more likely to go for Obama winning the elections over Sarah Palin having a wardrobe malfunction. Always suspect to scouting for insider info – don’t be surprised if they have already checked Palin’s bra-straps before placing the bet.
Risk Appetite: Low - but can play huge amounts on safe bets

4. The Regular Bettor (Hindi: Khiladi)
Description: You can always count on them if you want to place a bet. Betting is one of their favourite pursuits and they get withdrawal symptoms if no betting activity occurs over an extended time period. Are like Rahul Dravid – consistent and reliable.
Risk Appetite: Decent – can bet their lunch money too

5. The Punter (Hindi: Sattori)
Description: Has all the characteristics of the Regular Bettor, with a higher risk appetite, a graver hunger for punting and the added skill of creativity. These are guys who can create exotic derivatives on regular betting products – Eg. No. of runouts in a match, whether a goal will be scored through a header, no. of songs in a movie before interval, etc
Risk Appetite: Good – can bet upto their daily wage

6. The Gambler (Hindi: Juari)
Description: Is a Punter with a difference – these guys are almost compulsive in their gambling instincts and can create new gambling products out of anything. Once, at a funeral, 2 gamblers bet whether the head of the body would go at the north end or the feet. So you can imagine…
Risk Appetite: Great – can bet their year-end bonus in one go

7. The Great Gambler (Hindi: Badka Juari)
Description: No, am not talking about the Amitabh movie, but about the gurus of gambling. These guys are like the CII or FICCI of the betting world and it is their responsibility to create and expand the market. These represent the senior leadership - very much like Chidambaram and Subbarao in the current crisis in financial markets.
Risk Appetite: Excellent – can take personal loans @ 22% to bet

8. The Desparado (Hindi: Despo Juari)
Description: This guy is like the Baba Ramdev of the betting world. If the gamblers/great gamblers are like the CEOs and senior management, this guy is like a Richard Fuld. He has reached what is called the self-actualization level in Maslow’s hierarchy, as far as gambling is concerned. Is compulsive beyond redemption.
Risk Appetite: Overwhelming – usually bet anything that belongs to him (or their neighbours) – furniture, car, house, wife, etc

My gambling instincts are no secret, but you must be wondering as to what achievements would have led to this promotion. Well, in the recent past, among others, I have placed bets on the following:
- No. of corners in a football match
- First goal being scored after 27 minutes
- Ronaldo diving
- No. of catches by a wicketkeeper in an inning
- No. of run-outs in a T20 match
- No. of aces by Federer
- Winner of US Presidential Elections (on Obama)
- Winner of Big Boss (on Monica Bedi – have just received a new lease of life!)
- No. of times a senior colleague would utter a particularly favourite phrase in the course of an hour-long meeting

I know, I know… you must be thinking that I’m a give-up case already, but let me assure you I’m not so bad and these are just outlying events. If you still don’t believe me, I am willing to bet and give you odds.

A friend of mine put it quite succinctly – “Tu Bettor to pehle tha… now you have gone from Better to Worse”

PS: On an unrelated note, please join me in wishing a happy birthday to Shri Chhagan Bhujbal, thanks to whose bday celebrations at Shivaji Park, I got stuck in one of the worst traffic jams ever, while his supporters ran amok with his smiling posters on cars and buses.

Thank you Mr. Ronaldo

2008-09-22T14:20:00.006+05:30

The last few days saw me getting quite philosophical. I’d been wondering if the world is changing and if we are becoming too righteous as a society. The events of the last couple of days only smelled of virtues, without any stink of a vice.

The Indian police finally managed to grab a handful of terrorists and performed an act of utmost masculinity (mardon waali harkat) by killing them in their own homes. Raj Thackarey managed to keep his mouth shut for about a week. The capital markets continued in their reverie without waking up to the harsh alarm bells of reality. In spite of heavy peer pressure from the Lehmans and Merrills, the likes of Morgan Stanley and Goldman managed to survive a weekend.

While I am a proverbial good-guy myself, the whole essence of humanity is the virtue v/s vice battle, the good v/s evil fight. Without the evil, the good loses its significance. What would a Ramayana be without a Ravana, what would a Mahabharta be without a Shakuni, what would Ekta Kapoor soaps be without the vamps, and what importance will Jay-Veeru have if there was no Gabbar?

I was at Sports Bar, reflecting on this philosophy and wondering if the world is coming to an end. But just when my belief in the essence of humanity was about to be shaken, something happened which restored my faith. I saw something which told me that the essence of humanity still remains and that not everything in the world is virtuous.

I saw Cristiano Ronaldo dive.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Cristiano dived (yet again) to put my concerns to rest. For readers not well-versed with football, a dive is when a player fakes a foul, i.e. he has not been fouled, but still falls to the ground to win a free kick. And what a dive!! It was so beautiful, executed with the elegance of a Birju Maharaj, with the artistry of a Van Gogh, the craftiness of a Michaelangelo and the theatrics of an Amitabh Bachchan in the Last Lear.

I have never seen something so beautiful in a long, long time, and in the context of my mindset, it was even more beautiful that Paul Scholes’ volleyball-smash-goal-attempt against Zenit.

It was the EPL game between Manchester United and Chelsea, and in the 55th minute or so, Sir Alex Fergusson decided that it was time to please the crowd with some acrobatic stunts – so he sent his trusted lieutenant on the pitch with very clear instructions to do what he does best.

For people unaware of the tacit deal between Sir Alex and Ronaldo, here are the broad contours: For every dive, Ronnie gets a candy; for every pull at an opponents T-shirt, he gets a toffee; for every free kick won unfairly, he’ll get a milky bar, and if he manages to distract the opponent by either winking or pulling his pants down, Sir Alex would buy him a beer.

The massive crowd reception that Ronnie received (even after spending the entire transfer season begging in front of Real Madrid to buy him out), almost gave an orgasm to all the orthopedic surgeons in the Manchester area – after all, they realized that they suddenly had hundreds of thousands of people in the vicinity, waiting to be treated for a new disease called “mancho-circoma of the spine”, medical term for lack of a spinal cord. (Hundreds of miles away, Baba Ramdev watched this as he burped in contentment after finishing his sumptuous dinner, tickled his itching beard and dialed his hotline number to Aastha TV.)

Anyways, almost as soon as he was on the pitch, Ronaldo felt a surging need to assure his fans that the operation on his ankles had not affected his core skill. So he dived – to prove that despite the surgery, he could still dive with similar elegance. And what a dive! Amazing, beautiful, class!

So here I am – with renewed enthusiasm and energy, having been reassured that the basic essence of humanity is still intact. Thanks to Cristiano Ronaldo for drawing me out of a potentially lethal depression.

PS: On a more serious note, it’s a great feeling to see Arsenal at the top of the table, even though the league is just 5 matches old and they are yet to play any of the biggies. And even better to see the ugly c*nts at Man-U rotting at 15th place.

A misunderstood man

2008-09-11T19:06:00.003+05:30

I don’t know about you guys, but I think Raj Thackarey is a deeply misunderstood bloke. In my opinion, it’s quite wrong to put the blame squarely on Raj for whatever you see happening in Mumbai today. More than him, there are other people at fault, who need to be blamed first.

First on the blame-list is the kid who used to sit next to him in school for playing a prank on Raj and overturning (by 90 degrees) the India Map that Raj was working on in his Standard II Geography Class. Because of that incident, Raj still thinks that Bihar and Jharkhand are in North India.

Second on the blame-list is his local video-library-wala. When Raj, at a very tender age went to the local store to get a video of Tom & Jerry, the library-wala mistakenly gave him a copy of the hit Hollywood Western film “Deliverance”. Seeing the Southerners literally screw the asses of the Northerners in the cowboy flick, Raj was deeply inspired and vowed to replicate this in real life. Come on, would you blame a little kid if he got inspired by Herbert “The Cowboy” Coward? It’s the library guy’s fault.

Third on the list are his UP-friends in college, who sent him an invitation for Chhat-Pooja. For hours Raj waited on the terrace (chhat) for Pooja, but she never came. He vowed (again) to extract his vengeance. Hence his statement – “Chhatpooja is not just a religious festival, it is an akhada (wrestling ring) erected on Mumbai's chest by Bihari leaders to show their strength.”

Last on the blame-list is Rakesh Roshan. When Raj was in his formative years, he happened to see Roshan’s debut film as a director, Khudgarz, in the theatres. The plot where two chaddi-buddies Jeetendra and Shatrughan become bitter foes because an insult by the Bihari Shatrughan on Jeetu-ji stuck on in his mind.

Raj’s story was similar - He used to worship Amitabh Bachchan and kept his photo on his desk for inspiration. He used to invite AB as the chief guest at every function, and even named his son Amit, supposedly after his idol. But then, lightening struck their relationship.

Just like in the movie, Raj was insulted by Amitabh when he was not invited to the Abhi-Ash wedding. So, he decided to take the same route as Jeetu-ji took against his ‘North Indian’ friend in Khudgarz. Hell, even I was hurt at not being invited to the wedding, so how can I blame Raj-saheb?

Please note that my arguments are not based on frivolous logic like the one by a certain Saisuresh Sivaswamy on Rediff. But since he is a Westerner (as per Raj’s Class II India Map), and I have been told by his illustrious uncle that Western influence is the bane of modern Indian society, I will completely ignore those arbit arguments.

Now, having established the fact that Raj is misunderstood, let me show you two more hidden aspects of his personality – (1) his tolerance level and (2) his sense of humour.

In his article on expressindia.com, Raj says –

"Not even a single worker has offended - physically or verbally - any mediaperson so far."

I seriously think that is commendable. In the last few days, I have myself been tempted to physically as well as verbally abuse many mediapersons, especially the India TV staff when they air their fight-against-aliens campaign.

And read his Tehelka interview to get a taste of his sense of humour. Especially this piece –

Q: You are fond of Hitler. What do you like about him?
A: I like his organisational skills, the way he worked on development.

I wonder how he muffled a giggle while saying this. But then he could not hold back his laughter here:

Q: Ratan Tata is a non-Maharashtrian who has contributed so much to the state.
A: I am not against everyone — not even North Indians — I am only against those who come from UP and Bihar with an agenda. Why do these people come here and give exams for the seats in railways which should be alloted to the locals first?
Q: But should it not be competitive as in any other sector? Let whoever is better get the seat.
A: Better!! Better than Maharashtrians! I don’t want to continue with this interview. (leaves the room)

I’m sure he would have been found outside the door of the studio rolling on the floor with laughter.

Rock on - rocking

2008-09-04T18:06:00.004+05:30

Even in the midst of a crazy weekend, I managed to catch a morning show of Rock On, and loved the film. Really loved it.

I cannot lay down a specific reason why I loved the film so much. Honestly, there’s no specific reason. The movie is nowhere near perfect, and has its own set of flaws if you want to nitpick about it. And of course, there have been movies in the past which have been technically superior, well-researched, flawless, and all that jazz. But, is spite of that I loved Rock On more than I loved these other excellent films.

The reason – Rock On managed to touch that raw nerve within me, which very, very few films can do. It’s not just the fact that this film is modeled on an urban lifestyle, in which one can find his/her own reflection and can relate to the characters within. But it’s much more than that.

If you belonged to a very close group of 3-4 friends in school/college who were inseparable and did crazy things together, you would have loved Dil Chahta Hai. If you had a deep-rooted passion for your country, you would have loved Swades. If you had a hidden desire to fight the system and become a hero, you would have loved Rang De Basanti.

Similarly, if you had a dream or passion in your hey-days, which eventually you had to shelve into the closet and wake up to the practicalities of life in your endeavour for success and stability, then there is no way that you would not love Rock On.

I can never forget the last term at IIMB, when after the release of Swades and multiple viewings of it, we kept discussing the movie in a semi-inebriated state on a block balcony, with Ye Jo Des Hai Tera blaring at full volume in the backdrop. The question invariably came up – What the f*ck are we doing with our lives? We should do something for our country, instead of becoming slaves of an MNC and then on an everyday basis complain about the state of affairs in the country. We should light our own bulbs!

Swades kept running in our heads for months, but the effect wore down sufficiently for all of us to take up MNC jobs in placement season, and half of us (including me) taking up offers overseas, with an assurance (more to self than to others) that it would be temporary. Even today the effect lingers on subtly and keeps rearing its head time and again, but does not generate enough adrenalin to trigger any action.

Rock On had a similar effect on me. The movie stayed with me through the last few nights, and I’m sure it is going to linger on for a while. The question popped up again – ‘What the f*ck am I doing with my life?’ And Prachi Desai’s dialogue rang out loud – “Mujhe aisa lagta hai ki tum sirf ek mechanical zindagi jee rahe ho.”

I think the words were meant for me – to make me sit up and think. I am increasingly beginning to feel that this film was a sign from God – for me to reevaluate my life and what I want to do, rather than sit up every now and then and ask myself – ‘What the f*ck am I doing with my life?’

But then, I don’t have the time. I have to make a presentation by evening, have an early morning meeting tomorrow, the car needs to go for repairs, I need to get a medical done for insurance, and so on and so forth. The mechanical life that I’m leading has subjected me to a state, where I think I’m just doomed to ask – ‘What the f*ck am I doing with my life?’ every now and then.

Thanks to the makers for Rock On – at least it opened the door of the closet slightly and at least it again triggered off the question. Maybe if the question keeps coming up again and again, one day I might just be compelled to answer it.

Big Boss, or Big Blobs?

2008-08-28T22:35:00.003+05:30

Yesterday was a landmark day, when I managed to reach home by 9-30 PM! Not that my work keeps me occupied all 365 days a year, but whenever I get off early, I’m in no particular hurry to reach home – so invariably I end up meeting someone for dinner, going out for a couple of drinks, gate-crashing at some friend’s place or other. Normal home-reaching time is around 10-30 PM.

However, the last couple of weeks have been particularly crazy. So, having spent the entire weekend working (which I absolutely hate, btw), and having contracted a terrible cold recently, I decided to reward myself with an early night. So what do you do if you reach home earlier than usual? You switch on the TV.

I must say that the prime time content on television is downright lousy. Seriously. I mean, I cannot imagine anyone in his or her right mind looking forward to any of the prime time shows currently on TV. So, after spending all my energy to surf channels, in my endeavour to find at least mediocre quality entertainment, I got tired and decided to settle with Big Boss.

This was the first episode of Big Boss that I watched from the beginning. Most of the days, I reach home just in time to catch the last few seconds of the show. In any case, I get a lowdown from colleagues in office who’ve made it a betting product!

What I saw shocked me completely. Boss, it’s a show full of demented people blabbering senselessly, with the sole aim of irritating the viewer to the point of no return. It’s seriously lousy, and don’t even get me started on the quality of contestants. Some of my observations:

The lady called Rakhi looks like she’s come straight from an audition for the Joker role in a batman movie. And I’m sure she got rejected there for using too much make up.

This Rahul Mahajan is bloody all over the place – the guy has got a serious talent for blabbering, and on any 5 minutes of the show you’ll hear his voice for at least 4. Bodes well for his political career, I guess.

Is Ketki Dave naturally so Gujju, or is she’s trying to fit into her reel image? If it’s the latter, she should know that fellow community members like myself don’t appreciate her giving others the opportunity to make fun of us :-)

Raja Choudhary perpetually wears a very weird facial expression – it could result from one of 2 things – (i) acute constipation, or (ii) deep-seated sexual frustration. Odds are equal for either of the two.
Sambhavna something (whatever her name might be) seems to have a serious attention disorder. If only our sportsmen had the same degree of hunger for victory as she has a hunger for footage, then we would win many more medals at Olympics.

Ehsaan Qureshi is not as irritating as he was in the Great Indian Laughter Challenge, but in spite of that, his irritation quotient does not fall within my tolerance level.

Ashutosh is using the same politics that won him Roadies. But he is forgetting that he was dealing with half-brained immature teenagers there, and is dealing with very seriously demented people here… On second thoughts, not much difference.

Payal Rohatgi seems to be suffering from PMS these days.

Zulfi Syed appears relatively sensible. But that could be because he has chosen to keep his mouth shut for most part, which in itself is a remarkably sensible thing to do. In that case, he’ll be voted out soon!

Lastly, Monica Bedi is the perfect recipe for a winner – she has all necessary ingredients. She’s not so irritating, appears very docile and amiable, and has not got onto the wrong side of anyone in the house so far. More importantly, she has 2 aces up her sleeve – (i) the potential to trigger a sympathy wave and (ii) the phone-a-friend lifeline to Arthur Road jail. Heh!

I might end up following this show full of retards, off and on, just for cheap thrills. Anyways, if anyone’s reading this, what odds are you willing to offer to me on Monica Bedi winning?

Tell me your dreams

2008-08-20T19:56:00.004+05:30

A few days back, a few of us from office had stopped over for a couple of drinks while on our way back home. Quite strangely, somehow the conversation veered to a new topic (apart from the usual work cribs, sports and Katrina Kaif). We started talking about dreams – no, not the APJ-Abdul-Kalam-type dreams, that keep you awake at night. Rather, the dreams that you get when you are asleep at night.

It all started when we were ridiculing a colleague for his folly of having taken an ambitious bet on Sachin Tendulkar scoring a century in the 2^nd innings of the last India-Lanka Test . Given Sachin’s form and his track record in the last innings, it was always a far cry.

When he was asked as to what led to such a moment of weakness, he promptly responded – “I dreamt last night that he would score a century!” We were speechless. “Whats more” he added, “the dream even extended to how I was laughing at all of you in office for making fun of me taking such a bet”.

So, the conversation extended to the kind of dreams we all get and which is the one (or ones) which sticks in our memory for some time. One colleague narrated how he used to get dreams in his childhood about waking up late on exam-day and missing the test. Invariably, he would wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night!

Another colleague pledged full support that this was his most recallable dream too. Another one always used to dream about how he was falling off a tall building. One more used to get a strange dream that someone was sneaking behind him with a dagger to kill him and he wanted to scream but somehow his voice betrayed him.

After an energetic discussion dissecting everyone’s dreams, all eyes turned on me. I had been silently listening to this conversation with a steady nonchalance.

“What?” I said
“So tell us – which is your most recallable dream?”
“I don’t get dreams. Or at least I don’t remember them”
“WTF – That’s not possible”
“I’m serious. I seriously cannot recall any dream. I personally think, I don’t get dreams.”

They didn’t believe me. But I was assertive. They told me to check with my mom whether I used to wake up in the middle of the night in my childhood. I told them I had already done that long back, and she had confirmed that I used to sleep less, but peacefully. Still they didn’t believe me and I didn’t have much to say apart from giving a reassuring nod that I was being truthful.

But I have a confession to make – I was not being entirely truthful. Please don’t get me wrong, I actually cannot recall any dreams as such. However, there has been one dream, which I managed to recall, not once but twice in the space of a week.

It would have been 3 years back when I was in Sydney, and I got the same dream on 2 nights, 3-4 days apart. So novel was this whole getting-the-dream experience for me that I got nervous and jittery and called up my friends to share the incident. While they had no reaction to my excitement/nervousness on getting a dream, they did have a reaction to the content of my dream – laughter.

So here it is (in as much as I can remember at this date) –

There’s a vast mountainous land with a heavy undergrowth and I am running through it, panting heavily. I am dressed in army overalls and an army helmet and have a machine gun in my hand (probably an AK 47). The daylight is dwindling and a helicopter is following me – the chopper was the object from which I was running.

As the chopper catches up with me, there are multiple rounds of ammunition fired at me, but like a true-blue JP Dutta protagonist, I managed to avoid the barrage. I realized that I could not run away and so I turned, fell to the ground and fired a salvo of bullets at the chopper (which was bearing an enemy flag) letting out a Sunny-Deolish scream.

The chopper bursts into flames, but enemy bullets manage to find me. I lie prostrate on the ground – dead.

This is the point at which I wake up, and surprisingly could recall it distinctly. While it was an object of intrigue for me, it turned out to be an object of ridicule for my friends, and I thought it was wise to not mention it to work-friends and get similar reactions.

Even today, the thoughts of this dream keep haunting me. For a guy who does not get any dreams, or cannot recall any whatsoever, to get such a strange one as your ONLY recallable dream is indeed quite bizarre. I still keep waiting for the night when I’ll get it again, and maybe it will fill in some missing pieces. Has something like this happened to you? Is there an odd dream that has stayed with you?

"Paraíso en la Tierra" - Paradise on Earth

2008-07-30T12:26:00.007+05:30

Warning - Slightly long

There are times when you feel woefully conscious of your shortcomings. This is one such time when I really, really feel conscious of the fact that I am not so good at expressing myself in words and letters, and how I wish I was more articulate.

Yesterday night, I decided to write a not-so-long post about my trip to Ladakh and ended up staring at a blank screen for a long, long time. While the truth remains that I am not very good at putting down thoughts on paper, the larger fact is that no words can do justice to the Ladakh experience; to the landscape and panorama that we witnessed.

Ever since I have returned, people have barraged me with curious “how was it?” and I have struggled to find the right answer. Beautiful, amazing, brilliant. These are some of the adjectives I used. But the truth is that you have to go there to understand, and that is precisely what I have started telling people.

Ever since I had the trip planned, people kept telling me to take pictures – millions of them. However, trying to capture the landscape in photographs is not only a futile exercise, at times it even seems insulting.

Honestly, it is impossible to write about the trip and do justice to it. Chandni, who also went for a Ladakh trip recently, has written about her here and I wish I could be as expressive or articulate. So here I am, not sure of what to write and what to say.

I could write about the itinerary – that we stayed in the remote Vashisht (4 kms from Manali) for 3 days, before leaving for Leh by road, covering it over 3 days (easily the best part of the trip), and then spent 8 days in and around Leh.

Or, I could write about the innumerable instances when we were awestruck and dumb-founded by the sheer beauty of the landscape in front of us, and the absolute disbelief that it triggered within us with respect to its existence.

Or, I could write about the number of hours that we spent just staring at the moon and the stars completely mesmerized by their proximity and charsima.

Or, I could talk about the numerous instances when we were humbled by the hospitality and warmth of the local people that we encountered through our journey.

Or, I could talk about the times when we were embarrassed by foreign tourists (who easily outnumbered their Indian counterparts 10 to 1) with their genuine curiosity about where we Indians go for holidays, if not here.

Or, I could talk about the things to do and places to visit, which is pretty much standard (but please, please definitely do the Manali-Leh route by road and also do the Army Hall of Fame museum in Leh)

I could write and write pages, perhaps even a book. But none, absolutely none of it would prove to be adequate in expressing my thoughts, feelings and experiences. The only alternative is for you to go there and find out. So, I have decided not to write the factual details about the trip at all.

Instead, let me put down a few snippets, quotes and experiences from the journey, which might help in propelling you from your chair into forming your own travel plan for there.

*****
1. At Vashisht, we were having a late night conversation with Chris, a Swedish bloke, and the owner of the Bodh Niwas guest house, where we were staying. Chris was telling us about his love for mountains, and how we would definitely love Ladakh.

When we asked him about his return to Sweden, he said “You know, I have been traveling across the globe ever since I got onto my own 2 feet. Now, after 10 years and 46 countries, I have finally found my paradise. I am not going anywhere. Am staying put in the Himalayas here”

*****

2. Both Chotu (school pal and co-traveler) and I, suffer from a syndrome we call motion sleepiness. Basically, it is what we call our talent of being able to fall asleep in an instant in any moving vehicle– be it a flight, train, bus or car. So, we had a lengthy argument on which one of us should take the backseat on the Manali-Leh route, since the front seat taker is not supposed to sleep.

As it turned out, none of us could sleep a wink on the route, and at any point of time during the trip, we could have been spotted wide-eyed and open-mouthed, staring at the landscape and swearing in disbelief.

*****

3. On one particular spot on the Manali-Leh route, we ask Ustadji, our driver to stop so that we could take pictures. We get out of the car and sit on a rock by the side of the road. Minutes pass, and we stay motionless, staring at the scene.

After about 20 minutes, I am jolted by Ustadji’s hand on my shoulder. “Sirjee, chalein? Warna late ho jayenge…”. Shaken from our reverie, we reluctantly get into the car and Ustadji drives off. A few moments later, he remarks “Sir, aapne photu to liye hi nahi…”

*****

4. While rafting on the grade-3 rapids of Zanskar river, I am having a conversation with Phil, an Aussie who is now a school teacher in France, and is traveling with Liam, his super-enthu 12-year-old. We are talking about the places we both have been to in Australia and Europe.

“Have you seen the Swiss Alps?” he asked.
“No, not yet,” I said.
“Been to the Andes? To the Nile cruise? To the Rocky Mountains?”
“No, no and no,” I said, with a smile.
“Then you have got your planning all wrong, buddy. You should see everything else, and then come here, and then just stop traveling. Now, after this, you won’t enjoy the other places so much”

*****

5. “I went to Thailand and every 4^th tourist I saw there was an Indian. And it’s almost shocking that you guys are not here at all”
- An anonymous Israeli tourist

*****

6. “Now I know why so much poetry and so many songs have been written about the moon”
– Me, in Keylong, after waking up from a hypnotic spell cast on me by the moon

*****

7. “Sir, aap hi batao - jo aadmi yahan reh leta hai, usko aur koi jagah bhayega kya?”
- Yung, our driver in Leh, when asked why he did not go to a warmer place during winters.

*****

8. “It almost seems like you are in an art exhibition, and with each step you take, God the artist, is showing off a new painting to you, each one different and better than the last one”
- An American, about the Manali-Leh route.

*****

Honestly, God has cracked it. He may have created vices, He may have created evil, He may have created poverty and disease. He may even have created people like Prakash Karat, Mayawati and George W Bush. But He has more than covered up with his artistry. Visit Ladakh, if you don’t believe me or don’t agree with me.

Now, I sincerely hope that the average Indian wakes up to the fact that there is a beanstalk which leads to heaven, right there in his own backyard.

Off to Ladakh

2008-07-12T18:31:00.000+05:30

Finally, I've managed to take my first real holiday in my 3-year career! While I was in Sydney, all holidays used to be home-ward bound, and haven't taken any leave in the last year or so.

So, off I go for 2 weeks, to Ladakh. It's going to be one heck of a trip. Seriously, the feeling of being free from all work-related stress for 16 days, is indeed a europhic one!

I'm posting this from my phone on my way to Manali, and I still haven't gotten used to using the internet on the phone.. so more later..

Adios amigos!

The Namesake

2008-07-10T14:18:00.005+05:30

A fitting end to the “Happy Friday” was marked by a bunch of drunk friends calling me up at 2 a.m. after watching the night show of Jaane Tu, and following it up with a few (maybe a few too many) drinks.

Bunch of Drunk Friends: @#$&*#! (incoherent mumbling and shouting, which to me, resembled to be a feeble attempt at recreating the 90s hit Will Smith number ‘Getting Jiggy with it”)
Me: wtf?
[BODF continue with their cacophony]
Me: WTF?
BODF: Didn’t you see Jaane tu?
Me: No…
BODF: But you were supposed to go to the premiere?
Me: I couldn’t make it… I was in Bangalore. I’m planning to see it tomorrow
BODF (long pause): In that case we will call you tomorrow with the Jiggy shit!

I hang up, thinking on the lines of the taxi-wallah I had encountered earlier in the day – “Aaj saala din hi kharaab hai”

Come Saturday, I am awakened with an SMS (yes, on bad days, an SMS can wake me up, and on good ones a falling elephant can’t). A friend had written – “You sly dog, you didn’t tell me you were in jaane tu ya jaane na”

More bewilderment..

While on my way to the theatre in the evening, I narrated these incidents to the friends I was watching the movie with. They were of the unanimous opinion that the there would be some character in the movie which would be a sardonic, sadistic, cynical sonovabitch - in other words, a character who resembled me. Of course, they added that this character would also be handsome, intelligent and sensitive (Ok.. they didn’t, I did)

The mystery was unraveled in the first few seconds of the movie when the opening credits rolled. The main starcast had an actor named – what else – “Nirav Mehta”. Just as realization was dawning, friends broke out into an excited chatter with cries of “That’s him! That’s him!”.

For the next few seconds, I was the subject of curious glares from neighbours, trying to figure out if they had seen my face before. Some even came to me for autographs.
Ok… I added the last part, but you get the drift, right?

Watching a movie has not been so painful before (if you discount movies like RGV ki Aag, Boom, Yaadein, etc etc), as my friends decided to play the game – Guess which character is Nirav Mehta.

The opinions were divided into 2 distinct groups – one group decided that it was the Gujju guy with the peacock hair cut, very appropriately named Jigness and fondly referred to as Jiggy (now you know the connection to the Will Smith song), who gets thrown into the movie at all odd moments, for comic relief. [While we are on that, what’s with the latest fad of using Gujjus for comic relief in movies nowadays? Are all the sardars dead? But that’s the matter for a separate post…]

The other half zeroed down on the fat, balding Rotlu character who is never happy and who has an amazing capacity to hold Coke-shots without getting tipsy. I am discounting the solitary vote for the dead cat, by the way.

Anyways, this mystery was unraveled with the closing credits, when it did turn out that it was Jiggy-boy (who has done a good job, btw). But that is not the point of the post. The point of the post is to underline the quantum of pain that the Namesake has caused to me, through 2 means-

Firstly, he has subjected me to the Jiggy-jibes from almost everyone I know. I have a stinking suspicion that most of my friends became friends with me with the expectation that I would be this Gujju guy who would provide them with ample entertainment just by being, you know, Gujju. And their frustration knew no bounds when I disappointed them. Now they have a weapon to extract their vengeance.

But secondly and more importantly, the namesake has just destroyed my film career even before it could start. I don’t know if you have seen this movie called Superstar (starring Kunal Khemu in a double role). In that movie, Kunal Khemu is an aspiring actor who wants to be the next superstar, but his life goes into turmoil when a look-alike actor gets launched before he does. Obviously, his career is finished.

Same is the case with me… My potential movie career has been just killed in infancy. There cannot be 2 Nirav Mehtas in Bollywood. So now I have to either change my name to a different screen name (which is against my principles - please don’t ask me why, for I don’t know.. it just sounds good), or resign to what fate has subjected me to.

So while the world goes about its normal life, I will sit and drown myself in sorrow, and mourn the death of the next superstar. And while I am at it, let me try to shrug Mr. Murphy off my back.

Murphy strikes on a 'Happy Friday'

2008-07-07T21:48:00.003+05:30

Murphy was a sadistic bastard. And I don’t know why he has a special liking towards me, and keeps striking in my territory. Take this for a Friday:

- I had to reach office early, which means I had to wake up early

- While I left home on time, as luck (or rather Murphy) would have it, a truck had overturned on the highway and there was a huge traffic jam

- I reached office later that I would have liked to only to realize that… (hold your breath) I had taken my brother’s laptop instead of mine (aaaargh)

- As Murphy-boy would have it, my bro had a late night the previous day and was happily snoring away, in no hurry to leave home

- Somehow, I managed to get Bhrata-shri out of bed and on his way to office, while I embarked on the 40-min peak-hour journey to his office, cursing myself every minute at the stupid blunder

- Remember the overturned truck? Well, in our country, it is considered to be inauspicious to clear an overturned truck till it has spent at least half-a-day in nirvana

- This meant that Bhrata-shri took 1.5 hours to cover an otherwise 20-min distance

- While I was waiting outside bro’s office for what seemed like an eternity, but was closer to an hour, I was confronted by 3 traffic policemen at different times asking me to take my car out of the no-parking zone…

- I almost gave them a piece of my mind – that they should be trying to overturn the overturned truck back in position… Well, didn’t I say ‘almost’.

- Just when I thought things could not get worse, I get a call from my Super-boss’ secretary telling me that my meeting with the Super-boss, which was at 12-30 was being advanced… to NOW.

- I had to tell her that I couldn’t come down – no, no, it’s not that I couldn’t come down 2 floors to his office, but that I couldn’t come down to office itself.. A suspicious secretary and a busy and impatient super-boss make a deadly combo, btw.

- Finally, bro turns up at noon, and we exchange laptops through moving cars the way smugglers used to exchange briefcases in the 70s in bollywood

- And now the icing on the cake – while on my way back, a taxi scratches the side of my car, and stops… the driver turns back and says “Aaj saala din hi kharab hai” – for once I was speechless.

Damn you Murphy

About offbeat cinema... Via Darjeeling

2008-06-27T10:44:00.005+05:30

Before I get into the movie, I have a question – does the fact that a movie is ‘off-beat’ or ‘non-mainstream’, make it a sexier movie? Does the fact that a movie is made not for the masses but for the intellectual world-cinema-watching people, make you build a hypothesis that it will most likely be a good movie?

The reason I am asking this is that the reviews and the public opinion of the so-called intellectual watchers of cinema towards a couple of recent ‘offbeat’ movies has left me a little puzzled. I’m talking about Khuda Kay Liye and Aamir. While the world has gone ga-ga over these films, honestly, I found them to be mediocre at best.

I know that this could make me be perceived as someone who is not an intellectual movie-goer and is therefore, not the right target audience for these kind of movies. But, I beg to differ. Over the years I have loved and advocated movies of all kinds, in all languages, for all genres. Plus, I have an unusually high tolerance towards Hindi movies (the fact that I have watched Aag, Tashan, etc is ample testimony), and am not one to form a hypothesis about a movie before viewing it.

Whenever I have asked people about why they liked KKL, they’ve come up with answers like ‘It’s a bold movie, it’s unusually courageous for a Pakistani to make this movie, it’s so different from other movies, etc etc’. For Aamir, the reasons vary from ‘very good for a debut movie, a different idea, etc etc’

Now, I agree with all of these, but are they enough to make them into a good movie? I am not sure. The reasons given herein justify only the ideation of the movie, which I agree wholeheartedly with. I think both KKL and Aamir get full marks from me for intent (and so does Via Darjeeling), but not for execution. A great idea may not necessarily make a great film. So KKL and Aamir, in my opinion, do not score, where a Taare Zameen Par or a Namesake scores – execution of an idea into a movie.

Plus, I think that every movie should be viewed on a standalone basis, and not with a bias of it being from a Pakistani or from a debutante director. Any movie should have enough meat to stand the test without such handicaps. Afterall, we never went ga-ga over Suresh Raina when he scored 27 runs in his first series, just because he looked like he had talent.

Anyway, in the backdrop of this argument, let’s talk about Via Darjeeling. So, I had the privilege of getting an invitation to the premiere of ‘Via-Darjeeling’ at PVR Juhu on Wednesday. The movie was advertised as a thriller, a mystery, etc and was supposed to be about a couple who go on a honeymoon and on the last day the husband disappears. Obviously, quite intriguing.

Actually, this was not the main premise of the movie. The premise consisted of a bunch of friends talking about this incident and giving their interpretations of what could have happened. Intriguing, nonetheless! But with an intriguing premise, came a poorly executed movie.

Again, I’ll give full marks to Arindam Nandy for experimenting with a style of storytelling which is very uncommon in our movies. I’ll also give him full points for subtlety. I’ve always believed that Hindi movies should not try to handhold and spoon-feed the viewers, and Via Darjeeling incorporates this subtlety into the storyline and leaves a lot to interpretation. But apart from these 2 points, I don’t have much praise for the the film-maker.

I thought Kay Kay did well to transition from one character to another within the same storyline, but Sonali Kulkarni was wooden in her expressions and delivery. All other characters, who are excellent actors otherwise, managed to put in an average-ish performance.

Overall, I wouldn’t mind watching this movie over some chai at home on a rainy day, but it was definitely not worth spending money on (not that I had to, but as they say – time is money). Obviously, the fashionable offbeat cinema loving people will still manage to find a reason to like the movie!

Under fire

2008-06-23T14:47:00.002+05:30

While last week was quite mundane in terms of work, there was one event that added some 'fire' to the monotony. This happened right behind my office, and I could actually see the initial glares from the glass panes in front of my workstation.

It was a regular Thursday, and I was struggling to finish my work by eight-ish so that I would not be ‘too late’ for a party, and for the umpteenth time face the ‘we knew you would be the last to arrive’ and ‘this is still is early by your regular standards’ quips.

I was on a call, when people in office raised an alarm that there was a fire in the building behind us. I didn’t pay much heed and continued on the phone, when a colleague came to my cubicle and gave me the ‘what-the-f*$k are-you-doing’ stare and pointed towards the glass pane in front of us.

One look at it and I knew it was not one of those ‘oh-I-forgot-to-put-out-my-beedi’ kind of fires. Within seconds, the building (alongwith all other adjoining buildings) was vacated. I made a grab for my laptop, my passport, my car keys and my phone, even as the security guards were frantically whistling at people, asking them to move out.

On reaching downstairs, the first reaction was that of shock – at the sheer quantity of black smoke in the air. Thankfully, the fire had broken in an under-construction site, which had few residents and very few combustible substances. Just as the question, ‘has someone called the fire brigade?’ came to my mind, 2 red fire wagons had already swerved into action. (On that point, do people know which number to call from a cell phone in case of a fire emergency?)

It was quite commendable to see the speed with which both the police and the fire brigade had swung into action, and the professionalism with which they operated. But it was quite disturbing to see hordes of people descend from all over, equipped with digicams, handycams, video recorders and of course millions of cell phone cameras, treating this event as if it was a sight-seeing attraction.

Thankfully, there were no casualties and no major injuries. It is said that something good always emerges out of a mishap. A forced departure from office at 6-30 PM meant that I was the lucky recipient of the punctuality-at-parties award for the first, and possibly the only time in my life.

Sarkar fights back

2008-06-17T10:06:00.003+05:30

An email forward from a friend landed me on Ram Gopal Varma's blog. I strongly recommend reading it. Especially RGV's Review of Reviews for Sarkar Raj. What's special about this blog is that unlike other celebrity blogs, RGV also responds to all the comments!

In his post, RGV has just taken on all critics, and one-by-one just torn them apart.

Khalid Mohammed has made such horrendous films like Fiza, Tehzeeb, Silsilay etc. If he or anybody thinks otherwise, the whole industry knows how many actors and investors are queuing up in front of his house fighting each other to get his films made...

...Madam Deepa Gahlot has been going around with scripts to be made as films for years and most Producers get turned off in the first 10 minutes when she starts narrating and that’s the reason they never got made...

...Raja something of rediff.com is an aspiring director who literally hounds film Producers who refuse to touch him. These are just a few examples of the kind of critics we have.

While it's evident that RGV has an ego, he also has an amazing sense of humour. He may have made some of the lousiest movies in recent times, but the guy surely has some wit. Some of his responses to comments had me in splits. Here's a sample:

Comment: AAG is my favourite film.
RGV: Can you please send your picture so that I can frame it and keep it at home.
P.S: Don’t tell anybody but AAG is my favorite film too.

Comment: I believe that you can make a better comedy film than anyone
RGV: What did you think Aag was?

Comment: I kept my two month old son at home and went to see your movie
RGV: I too like movies better than I like kids.

Comment: Celeste is your biggest fan and she is a beautiful Italian damsel.
RGV: I am on my way to the airport.

Sarkar Raj over Aamir - Better RoE

2008-06-09T10:14:00.005+05:30

Note: Spoiler Free

After many weeks, came by a weekend when I saw 2 movies in the theatres. While the IPL was on, cricket always got precedence over movies, but now it’s back to multiple-movie weekends. So, which out of the 2 movies did I enjoy more? At the risk of sounding unfashionable and non-intellectual, I’ll say it was Sarkar Raj which worked for me, over the much critically acclaimed Aamir – the reason for this was that Sarkar Raj provided a much better return on expectations (RoE).

Sarkar Raj

Sequels are always tricky. There’s a lot of baggage from the prequel that one carries into the sequel, and invariably there will be comparisons with the predecessor. Come to think of it, there’s a very simple method to making sequels work – make them better than the first movie. But very few Bollywood directors (Raju Hirani being an exception) have the maturity to focus on creating a better product.

Most of the sequels in India are not born out of a strong idea or storyline, rather they are born out of the mere success of the first movie. Honestly, I hate Hindi movie sequels, because they invariably turn out to be inferior products. So, my expectations from sequels, unless it is a Munnabhai, will always be rock bottom.

The other factor was that given Ramu’s recent track record of blockbusters (Aag, Nishabd and Go) it is very difficult for a sane man to attach any expectations with an RGV movie anymore, and this is where Sarkar Raj scores – it surprises you by being far superior to the average 2007 RGV flick!

Let me clarify one thing – Sarkar Raj fails comprehensively when it comes to surpassing, or even meeting the mark created by its predecessor. Overall it is a weak and somewhat patchy movie – but it’s still a watchable flick. Personally, I thought the performances were brilliant. Not only did the 3 main stars do justice to their price tags, even the support cast rose to the occasion. Whether it was Ravi Kale, Dilip Prabhavalkar or Supriya Pathak – their performances were excellent.

However, I have a major problem with Ramu trying to do a Tarantino, and experimenting (again) with camera angles and close ups. The fortunate ones who did not see ‘RGV ki Aag’ (ok… I confess that I was not one of them) probably do not know about this new-found fetish of his.

Critics of cinema might appreciate his experimentations, but as viewer, I cannot fathom why a director would want to cut off half the face of his protagonist from the frame, especially when he is the only guy in the shot. Again, why would a director want to defocus the face of the lead actor in a scene, when there is nothing else to focus on?

Ramu might be thinking that he is doing something cutting edge, but either he is way ahead of his times, or maybe I am too naïve a viewer to appreciate his techniques. The only shots where his experimentation did work for me was the bomb-blast shot, and the climax shot when Rao Sahib comes to visit Sarkar.

After RGV Ki Aag, I had vowed never to watch a Ramu film on the first day, and rather let someone else be the martyr. Come Friday, I could not resist the chance. But since Mr. RGV had so cleverly managed to ensure that you went to the movie expecting another dud, there was no way one could have been disappointed.

Aamir

Every movie critic worth his salt (and even others like Taran Adarsh and Khaled Mohammed) gave Aamir rave reviews. A friend of mine, who works in the field of cinema, had the privilege to watch the preview on Thursday. He called me excitedly after the show to tell me how good it was. He proclaimed Aamir to be a sure-shot success and an award winning movie, at least in the critics’ category.

When we went to see the movie, we met someone else had just come out of an Aamir show. She went gaga about the movie and told us how everyone stood up and applauded the movie at the end of the show. It was the best debut film ever, she said. So, we went in expecting to see something which would at least put an ‘Ek Hasina Thi’ to shame, as far as debut movies were concerned.

Given such Herculean expectations, I was bound to be disappointed. While, it was a commendable effort from a debutant director, and an excellent performance from a debutant actor, the movie somehow left you with a feeling that something is amiss.

Once the movie begins, you are immediately gripped by the intensity and the suspense of the plot, but it starts wearing down as it progresses. At the halfway stage, you wonder if the entire chase is going somewhere. You keep eagerly waiting for the moment when (a) you will get the answer to the numerous ‘whys’ in your head and (b) when things would turn around – but these moments never arrive.

Instead, the movie continues to run on its single-track path right through to the end (except for one small twist). At certain moments you see vague familiarities with ‘Nick of Time’ and ‘Phonebooth’, but what’s different is that unlike those movies, ‘Aamir’ could not sustain the intensity throughout. I have now decided to hunt for the Philipino flick from which Aamir has been lifted (so I have heard) to see if the original was any better.

If I had watched Aamir without having heard anything about it, I might have been praising it too. But let’s just say that for a critically acclaimed film, it has just too many ‘WTF’ moments. That said, both Raj Kumar Gupta and Rajeev Khandelwal should be applauded for brilliant debuts.

Post Script: The worst part is that I had to convince a group of friends to watch Aamir. In my eagerness to get people on board, I even agreed to one friend’s demand to watch Sex and the City next up, if she had to see Aamir then. Damn all the critics, for creating expectations from Aamir which the movie could not live up to, and hence not making it worth the pain to watch SATC now…

Women and the art of trivialization

2008-05-30T09:44:00.001+05:30

Have you ever noticed that women have an amazing talent of trivializing things that they cannot do? I think it’s an infallible strategy, and having burnt my fingers multiple times trying to reason it out, I have finally given up.

Take driving, for instance. Those women who do not know how to drive, or rather, those women who have spent a good amount of time and effort on driving lessons, but do not have the confidence to drive on busy city roads, will never admit that they can’t drive. They will never ever say that it’s beyond their means…

Rather they will make driving appear like it’s a menial, thoughtless task which is only appropriate for the brainless, low-down species – i.e. men. Ask a woman if she drives her car, and you’ll get a reply like “You know, I love driving, but who would want to drive on these crazy roads? Only people out of their mind would want to do that… so my husband does the driving”

And ask the husband (post a couple of drinks and when he’s out of his wife’s earshot), and you’ll know that the last time she tried to take the car out for a drive, she got into a major accident… in the parking lot… while taking the car out… Well, not her fault, ‘if the car decides to act funny when she’s at the wheel’. Much as he tried, he couldn’t convince her that the car cannot be termed as acting funny, if it does not stop by itself when reversing.

So, it will never be “I can’t”. Rather, it will always be “I don’t want to”, followed by a “who in his/her right mind would want to?”

A woman who doesn’t know how to cook, will always say “Why would I want to spend 2 hours in the kitchen after a day’s hard work, when we already have a cook”. If you get the husband/boyfriend drunk, he’ll confide in you that it the last time she cooked, they had to order in … and of course, all because of the stupid microwave which didn’t work properly and burnt everything.

In contrast, men are straightforward and don’t employ such elaborate strategies to conceal their shortcomings. We always shoot straight from the hip… We have no qualms in saying that “we can’t be tidy”, or “we can’t remember birthdays and anniversaries”. Have you ever heard a man say “I remember all anniversaries, but I make it a point to not express it, because it trivializes the love, etc etc”

The interesting bit is that, when the hour of need arrives, the woman smoothly transitions from the “I don’t want to” to the “I can’t” syndrome without even letting out a whiff. She’ll lure you into doing what she should have been doing, through a clever projection of helplessness or flattery.

When it’s that time of the year to do tax planning, you’ll hear “Please do mine too na… you know I am not good with numbers (sad face)”. And when her net connection goes down, she’ll go “You are a genius with these things – can you please fix it (fluttering eyelids)”

What’s not surprising is that we always fall for it, even when we know that it’s a con-job. As they say, men will always be men.

Post Script: This post has been written in good humour, and I hope it's not construed as an open invitation for all the feminists of the world to descend here and curse me

Comeback Attempt...

2008-05-23T13:32:00.000+05:30

A couple of years back, blogging was an integral part of my daily life (ok, let’s say weekly life). But as I had mentioned somewhere earlier, blogging is a lot like gymming… once you get into the groove, you kind of get addicted to it. Once in full rhythm, you wouldn’t want to miss a work-out and similarly, you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to write about something on your mind. But on the flipside, if you get out of rhythm, it takes a lot to get you back into it.

Since some time now, I have been trying to make that effort to take the first step to getting back in the groove, but somehow all forces have combined to stop me from taking that step – be it work, travel, connectivity or just plain laziness. Finally, I decided that today should be the day… My daily horoscope for today said that anything that I start today will be successful and would last long. After a careful evaluation of my options, I decided that trying to date Katrina Kaif was too much effort, so I should go with the next best option.

First a short update on what went by in the last year and half, when I was absent from this space - I have shifted from Sydney to Mumbai and have been here for a little over a year; and secondly, I have shifted from a consulting job role to private equity. There have been a lot of changes in life as it was, and most (if not all) of them have been positive ones. Some of the small changes are…

I have gotten used to the Mumbai traffic: After struggling initially to understand how one could drive in such conditions without losing his or her mind, I have now graduated to being completely nonchalant about it. Gone are the days when I used to abuse profusely at auto drivers, taxi drivers, bikers and almost every other car on the road due to the way they were driving, and gone are the days when I used to get majorly upset at every little scratch that my dear car was subject to.

Earlier, I could not fathom how one could spend 2 hours daily on the road, and used to crib that I could watch a movie everyday if I was not living in Mumbai. Now, on days when I manage to cover the 15-km distance from office to home in 60 minutes, I am overjoyed and I proudly tell my folks “aaj zyaada traffic nahi tha”

I have become an active equity investor: When I was in Sydney, I had no clue about the Indian equity market, and had not invested a penny in stocks till then. Now, I hold a sizeable portfolio, and can spend hours discussing the market. Warren Buffet started investing at 11, and he reckoned that it was too late. I started when I was 24 and by that measure, I might as well have been dead before I started.

Radio is now my main form of daily entertainment: This is partly to do with work hours, partly with the travel time from home to office, and partly to do with the trashy content on TV. I must say that Radio is fast evolving as a form of media, and has the potential to become quite big. Must say I find Sud (Sudarshan of Hansi ke Fuvvare fame on Radio Mirchi) to be quite hilarious!

My movie-watching frequency has taken a downturn: Having moved jobs and cities, I now realize that my job and life in Sydney afforded me a good amount of free time, out of which I spent a healthy lot on watching movies. Now, the hours have gotten stretched and the social life has changed too, which has meant lesser movies.

That said, I still manage to watch almost every trashy Hindi movie, most good English movies, a few foreign ones and the quarterly re-run of Sholay and A Few Good Men! Still long way off my desired frequency, though.

I’ve just started to getting used to living with family again: Having spent 4-5 years outside of home, it was much harder than expected to settle back into life with family. I still have not got used to it, but its getting better with time. However, I still keep getting taunts of using the home like a hotel and not spending enough time with family members and not taking care of my health and fitness, etc etc. Just that now its become a habit to ignore and live with these taunts.

I’ve become a regular at the gym: I know that given this, people may find hard to believe it, but its true. The office has a gym in-house, and whenever I’m not traveling, I make it a point to visit the gym. I’ve realized that I’m terribly short on fitness

All this said, some good things never change, and they have not. For example:

- I still worship Amitabh Bachchan, Zinedine Zidane and Steve Waugh
- I still support Arsenal
- I still sleep for less than 5 hours
- I still dream of directing a movie someday
- I still rate Sydney as one of the best places on earth
- I still love Calcutta and try to visit once a year
- I still think that Cristiano Ronaldo is a disgrace to football
- I still harbour ambitions of strating-up

That’s it for now… more later, hopefully regularly!

Been Long...

2007-12-11T00:24:00.000+05:30

I don't remember when I last visited this site, but today bumped into it through some other blog. Actually, it has been long since I have been on anyone's blog, and my own blogging days seem like events of a distant past. Its been much over a year now...

So will I hit back at blogging with a vengenace now? I would rather not answer that... As Steve Waugh said, its best to underpromise and overdeliver... In any case all the readers of this space (both of them) have deserted it - one of them died and one no longer visits it (thats me)!

Us and Them

2006-09-24T00:06:00.000+05:30

Conversation that took place over the phone a few days back

Me: Hi XX, I just found that I won’t be able to travel to Sydney on the 7^th. I have to stay back till the 9^th. Could you book me on the 9^th Sep flight for the BOM-SYD sector?
XX: Sure Nirav, let me check….
[Short Pause]
XX: Sorry Nirav, there are no seats available on the 9^th.
Me: How about 10^th night, or 11^th night?
XX: 11^th Sept is fully booked, but tickets are available on the 10^th.
Me: Great… Book me on that one then. But tell me, how come 9^th and 11^th are booked, but 10^th is not, when 10 Sep is a Sunday too?
XX: The flight is at 2300 hours, so practically, people would be on the flight on 11^th September only.
Me: So?
XX: Nirav, it’s been only 5 years. In these cases people don’t have a short memory.
[Long Pause]
Me: Oh Shit! It’s the anniversary….
XX (chuckling): Are you sure you want to fly on 9/11?
Me: Yeah yeah… am totally sure… thanks!

In spite of what all humanitarians and human rights activists say about terrorists being normal human beings, I am sure that there is at least one difference between Us and Them. I don’t think they have other halves who force them to celebrate anniversaries in a grand manner!

Never have had such a peaceful flight before… Peace!

Resolutions...

2006-09-15T03:53:00.000+05:30

Well, trips back home are always hectic. But this last one redefined hecticness (if at all it is a word in the first place). In my 3 weeks in India, I got to spend exactly 3.4 days with family! However, it does not mean that I didn’t have my share of fun! We had a 4-day team building event (read: party) which rocked, as usual, plus I got a first hand experience of the Delhi night-life! The arrival in Sydney (day before yesterday) has infused some normalcy back into my life now. It’s time now to look back and reflect.

People normally make new-year resolutions. But, I’ll be a little different and will make “Till New-Year Resolutions”. These are some of the things that I have resolved to put in place, at least till the new year comes around. So, the resolution is to:

Go to the gym at least 5 days a week
Play squash/tennis on a bi-weekly basis
Party every weekend J
Drive at least 150 Kms every week
Watch at least 4 movies every week
Blog at least once a week
Read at least 2 books every month
Learn vedic astrology (something I always wanted to do)
Write the book I always wanted to write
Write the movie script I have ambitions of directing

Ok ok… take the last 2 out, and I am serious! The last two are long term ambitions which will be fulfilled at a later stage in life. For now, I will be happy if I can achieve the first 8. If only I didn’t have a job, things would be much easier.

A personal post after a long time… will be more regular on the blog now, as per resolution no. 6. Till then…

Resurrection

2006-08-15T07:07:00.000+05:30

Blogging is a lot like going to the gym. When you get into the groove, you just cannot stop. Sometimes, you even get obsessed with the whole concept so much that you get a high by just checking the metrics (weight for the gym, statcounts for the blogs). And unfortunately, once you take a voluntary or involuntary break, it becomes so difficult to get back to it.

Also, once you lose touch, you are clueless as to what you should be doing. Should you go on the treadmill, should you start with weights, should you be doing the crunches, or should you be pedaling away on the cycle? Suddenly, you don’t know what to do. It is said that the best way to start is with light breathing exercises, and so I will re-convene my journey with breathing exercises too… my oxygen – movies. Will just arbitly write about the last few movies that I have seen…

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
This was one of the most awaited movies for me. Not because I was eager to take back all the wisecracks that I have been making at Karan Johar, but because I expected this movie to give me something which very few can – cheap thrills. And certainly Karan Johar did not disappoint me!! Some of the scenes which maxed out my cheap-thrill quotient were:
- The 'I like blue, do you like blue?' sequence
- The scene where SRK starts shaking like he's got Parkinsons
- The whole 'Black Beast' saga

On a serious note, I thought the movie was quite patchily made, and did a good job of squandering some of the best resources. On a personal front, I disagree with the concept that KJ is trying to propogate – that if you find love after marriage, you should go with it. But that’s a different story altogether. Taking it just as a movie, I thought it sucked. Some of the supposed comic sequences were so crappy that it looked like a skit by high-school kids.

Bottomline – I was totally Kank-ed

Miami Vice
Another movie I was looking forward to, but have to say that it was no where close to the ‘collateral’ level class that Michael Mann has achieved before. I loved some of the action sequences, and the effects, but the overall plot and storyline didn’t appeal to me much. Maybe my expectations were quite high after Collateral and Heat. But have to say, that the sound of the bullet in a Mann movie is totally different from that in any other movie.

Bottomline – Average flick, worth a watch

Omkara
What can I say – this one had class written all over it. It was terrifically made and shot, and the performances were brilliant. Saif as Langda Tyagi would be bagging quite a few awards this year (the leftovers, of course, after KANK cleans the cream!). The first half was fabulous, especially the scene where Saif gets Viviek drunk and then tries to rescue him from Omkara’s wrath, and also the scene after Viviek s crowned the new bahubali.

The second half, though well-made and all, was a little weaker. The plot weakens a bit as it becomes dependant on a series of coincidences rather than careful scheming. But have to say that it was the best Hindi flick I have seen this year after Rang-de-Basanti. On a personal note, I liked Maqbool better and thought it was far more powerful.

Bottomline – A must watch!

Hustle and Flow
Well, I am not much of a sucker for rap and hip-hop, but this was an amazing movie. It shows the rise of a guy from a pimp to a rap-star and how he does it. Terrence Howard is brilliant in the movie. This was just the second time I saw him in action (Crash was the first) and he was absolutely amazing

Few of the dialogues were breath-taking. For example, the one where he explains why he lied, and ends it with the killer punch line – “Some times a man has to lie”. This is also a movie for everyone to see. I just regret not having seen it on the big screen.

Bottomline – Class A

So that’s my resurrection into the blogging world. Boy, did I miss it!

World Cup, Superheroes, Politicians & Referees

2006-06-27T08:42:00.000+05:30

The last few days (weeks) have been crazy. With Australia being the worst time zone for World Cup viewers (prime matches starting at 1:00 AM and 5:00 AM) my sleep cycle has gone for a complete toss. In fact there is no cycle, as there is no sleep. As I leave for a 2-week trip to homeland (which incidentally, is one of the best time zones for World Cup viewers), I hope to sleep through the entire length of the Sydney-Singapore leg of the flight. If I manage to pull it off, it will be more than I have slept for the last 3 days together!

***

The World Cup is a great tool to rewind to your childhood days. While Ronaldo reminds you of the fat bully who just wanted to score goals and would not budge from the penalty area, Beckham (before yesterday’s performance) reminded you of the spoilt brat who owns the ball, and hence would play where he wanted to. [Before Beckham fans react to this, let me say that I was as impressed by his performance yesterday as I was disappointed by the ones before]

Argentina’s match against the Serbs brought back the memories of street football, where a person who scored a goal was asked to pull back a bit, because everyone else also wants to score a goal. But the best was yesterday’s match between Holland and Portugal, which reminds you of the old days when the football field was used as a pseudo ‘Fight Club’ to settle scores. The ‘action’ on the field would definitely have taught the school-boys a trick or two… what with all the slaps, shoves, pushes, elbow-snaps, and even head-butts. Too bad that they have referees with cards, out there to spoil the fun

***

Speaking of school days, I managed to catch the premiere of Krrish (or is it Kkrish or Krissssh or Krishhh?). Never before have I been so entertained. So much, that even 2 days after the show, I have not stopped laughing (As I type this out, my friends are calling for an ambulance)

If you enjoyed Nagraj Comics in your childhood days, don’t miss the movie. Hell, don’t miss it even if you were put off by the colours of Nagraj Comics and resorted to the more appeasing Chacha Chaudhary. If you are a Mithun fan, the climax will make you stand up and applaud the audacity of the director and the actors to pull off stunts that even Mithun-da would not have dared to think about.

But, if you are NOT suffering from insomnia, intermittent loss of senses, or mental disorders, chances are that you would want to pull your hair out, fling your shoes at the screen and scream your brains out. But still, you should watch the movie. It’s well worth it!

***

Speaking of laughter, all of us enjoy it when the likes of Shekhar Suman, in their late-night chat shows, take pot-shots on politicians and their ilk. We end up laughing at the jokes… sometimes at the humour, and sometimes at the sheer wackiness, thinking of how silly we make out our politicians to be.

But then, we have no reason to underestimate the potential of our public-servant friends. They can outdo the imagination of even the craziest of humour artists. For a testimony, read this. If Krrish had left any laughter bones untouched, this would definitely serve as the last straw.

***

Finally, I have come to the conclusion that there is no better job in the world than that of a FIFA referee. You get to see the games from the best possible position, you get to whistle and play with cards, you get to create records, and even if you make silly mistakes like not being able to add 1+1=2, you will still not be kicked out. The only downside is that you have to be up and running in the field for 90 minutes. *Yawn*

Presumed Identity

2006-06-21T07:34:00.000+05:30

The other day, I met a fellow Gujju in the office elevator. Actually, to say that I met him that day would be incorrect. We have been bumping into each other in the elevator every now and then, since the last 2 months, both of us conscious of our Desi identity, but unable to overcome our instincts to ignore each other. Let me clarify:

Question 1: What do you get if you put 2 people in an elevator?
Answer: Exchange of greetings, pleasantries and maybe even small talk on the World Cup.

Question 2: What do you get if you put 2 Indians in an elevator?
Answer: An extremely uncomfortable situation, where both parties are desperately trying to avoid eye-contact and are uneasily waiting for the tension-filled ride to end. By the time the ride ends, Indian #1 would have managed to memorize the safety instructions on the side of the lift, while Indian #2 would have managed to type out an imaginary SMS

I don’t know why we do this, but the fact remains that we do. If you meet a non-Indian in the elevator, you would smile and say hello, but if you meet a fellow Indian, you would pretend as if the other person does not exist. I guess I am not much different, and I am a victim of my desi instincts too.

So, it actually took 2 months of bumping into each other casually, before ignorance led to eye contact, eye contact led to smiles, smiles led to raised eyebrows, raised eyebrows led to short ‘hey’s, ‘hey’s led to more pleasant hellos, and hellos finally led to a conversation.

Question 3: What do you get when you put 2 Gujjus together?
Answer: You get a lot of chatter in Gujarati. Gujjus do have an idiosyncrasy - if we find ourselves in the company of a fellow Gujju, we just have to talk to them in our native language, irrespective of the setting and the presence of other non-Gujjus in our company. I guess this is true for other communities too (Bongs, Tams, etc) but more emphasized in our case. (Have to note that I am a little different here, and I hate talking to someone in Gujarati if there are non-Gujjus around… I think its rude!)

After expressing pleasant surprise on the discovery that we belong to the same community, we talked about our background, what we were doing in Sydney, our home towns in Gujarat etc. Gujju friend here was not too impressed when I could not give him the exact location of my native village in Gujarat, and was even less impressed when I told him that I had not visited it since 16 years.

He proudly stated that he was a devout Jain and had managed to keep himself ‘pure’ even in Australia. I was a little sheepish in admitting to him that I was a Jain too, but my concept of purity was restricted to vegetarianism, which I considered commendable too. However, friend here was deeply shocked that I had lost the virtues of Jainism, and invited me to have meals with him so that I could cease committing the sins that I had been committing so far.

I was in no mood for a debate, and decided to not offer my pearls of wisdom on the topic. But it’s on instances such as these that you do become deeply aware of your presumed identity. The best part was when, friend remarked with obvious contempt – “You don’t sound like a Gujju… You could actually pass off as a North Indian”

I will regret the fact that I did not thank him for this compliment!

World Cup: Week I Round Up

2006-06-17T11:04:00.000+05:30

A week gone by in the World Cup 2006, and here is my brief analysis:

Organized – Argentina, Spain
Clueless – USA (for a team ranked 5^th)
Disappointing – Brazil, England, France (hardly looked like favs)
Suprising - Ecuador
Refreshing - Czech Republic
Heartening – Trinidad & Tobago
Lucky Draws – Germany, England

The Hero – Shaka Hislop (Trinidad & Tobago) vs Sweden
The Villain – Ronaldo (the only time he ran was when he was subbed)
The Genius – Guus Hiddink (showed how you can play with 14 men)
The Goal – Tomas Rosicky vs USA; Md. Kadir (Togo) vs S Korea
The Save – John Terry(!) vs Paraguay (surprise)

Thumbs up – Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast) refusing to go down even when fouled (so much for his reputation as a diver)
Thumbs down – Alexander Frei (Switzerland) trying a hand-of-god goal, ala Maradona
Ugliest Player – Peter Crouch (England)… maybe God wanted to make an ostrich and changed his mind midway!
Worst Hairstyle – Loco (Angola), beats Ronaldo’s 2002 hair-cut

Have you noticed that:

The number of penalties awarded and red cards seems lower
The number of yellow cards seems to have increased
No major upsets have been recorded in the first week
The ball seems to swerve more in the air, and travel slower on the ground
Too many players have been slipping on the grass
The main Golden Boot contenders have not opened score (Ronaldinho, Henry, Ronaldo, Owen, Del Piero, van Nistelrooij)
No major refereeing controversies have been raised so far

Since I have not watched every match, the above may not be accurate. Please feel free to disagree and offer your views. Are there any other observations, moments, trends that you have noticed?

Update - The 2006 WC has finally managed to make its own little contribution to the history of World Cups. For those who missed the Cambiasso goal (or the 24-passes goal) in the match between Argentina and S&M, you have missed one of the best goals in WC History. Pratyush at Sportolysis has a video here. I dont see this one being surpassed for the best goal award in the 2006 World Cup!

A Moment of Madness

2006-06-14T21:32:00.000+05:30

What else would you call the act of jumping off a cliff or a bridge with your legs tied to just a rubber rope, just for a kick? Well, madness aside, it was one of the best things that I have done in the recent past. The long weekend at Cairns was an action-packed one, full of partying, gambling, snorkeling, driving, swimming, and of course, bungee-jumping off a 165-feet high bridge.

Getting yourself to jump off the edge is the most difficult part and is against all your basic human instincts. And once you jump, there is a moment when everything stops… your breathing, your heart-beats, your brains, your voice, your ability to hear… you ~~think~~ know that you are going to die. It is an amazing moment… one that you treasure all your life. And the thrill and the rush of adrenalin through the whole process make it totally worth it.

5 Reasons why everyone should do it-

For the sheer thrill and the rush you get
For the feeling of triumph it provides you, once you are done
For the sake of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone
For adding to the stories that you can tell your grand-children
For the sheer craziness of the concept

5 pre-requisites for doing a bungee-

Lack of any heart-related diseases
A spirit of adventure
Some courage (actually, loads of it)
Enthu company - its not something you do alone!
Some dough (there are no free lunges!)

5 common myths about bungee-jumps-

It can hurt your back and muscles (its totally smooth)
Knocking a few drinks helps (trust me, once you are up there, you get as sober as you have ever been)
You might feel sick in the stomach (You just feel great)
Accidents are not uncommon (in fact, they are very, very rare)
You have to be crazy or drunk to do it (Yours truly did it in a state of sobriety)

5 learnings from the master-

Book beforehand. Making a payment raises the exit barrier if you chicken out.
Always go first… that way you can laugh at your friends who go later, when they are on the brink of a nervous breakdown
If you drink, then get drunk… it helps till you get on the jump-board, which is when you get back to being sober
Use the band-aid theory – one quick motion (easier said!)
Go for the video/pics option...It's something you'll cherish

And here is a distant picture of me jumping off

World Cup 2006 : Who d'ya support?

2006-06-10T05:09:00.000+05:30

Finally the World Cup is here, after a sluggish week where it seemed Friday would never arrive. I have been asked time and again about the team I would be rooting for, which is an easy enough answer. But then, some have even asked me the very tricky question, Why? Now, there is no straight answer to this question. So, I am cracking my head up to figure out why I support the team that I support.

Firstly, I have a phobia against unusually large teeth (gulp!). So when I see Ronaldinho flash all his 46 teeth in a perfect smile, unlike all of you, I don’t wonder about the toothpaste he uses. And when Ronaldo opens his mouth, I don’t debate whether he would have been a rabbit or a rat in his previous life. All I can think of is the pain the protagonist in Oldboy would have had to go through if he had to extract their teeth with a hammer. He might have wished that he had picked a sledgehammer instead. This phobia rules out Brazil

I have always hated vans. Have you ever noticed that if criminals in Hindi movies had to choose a car, they would always go for the Maruti Van. Not the Merc, the BMW or the Audi… but the old Maruti Omni. The style in reaching the scene of crime in a Maruti Van, sliding open the doors of the moving van, and launching a torrent of bullets through the machine gun is just too much kick for the bollywood baddies. Plus, if they have to indulge in greater crimes like rape or molestation, it’s the most convenient. Keeping this association in mind, the flurry of ‘vans’ in the side (van Nistelrooy, van Bommel, van Persie, etc, plus the great Marco as manager) rules out Netherlands.

A team needs to be creative to win at this level. But any team which has 7 versions of Andrei’s, 5 versions of Olegs, 3 versions of Sergies, suggests nothing but a lack of creativity. Why would I support a team where Andrei passes to Andriey who drops the ball for Andrea and then Andrie scores. So, this rules out Ukraine.

I would really like to be able to spell the names of the players of the team I support. And in spite of my best efforts, I will never be able to spell the likes of Schweinsteiger, Hitzlsperger, Zuberbuhler. So Germany (and Switzerland too) is out of the question
I hate people with 3-word names. It shows that they want to complicate everything, including their names. This throws Argentina and Mexico out of the window

I am not particularly fond of teams which have good-looking players with long hair. They give me a complex (hmpf!). How can you look good AND play football well? Gross injustice! So, Italy and Spain are also not my favourites [Maybe England too… after all, they do have the ‘handsome’ Rio Ferdinand :)]

But I do (somewhat) like teams which are young at heart. So, Sweden is in, since almost every player is a ‘son’ (eg. Larsson, Svensson, Andersson, etc etc)
I also believe that the dark horses should actually be dark, and if they have funny-sounding names (like Kalou, Toure, Drogba, Eboue) then it makes it more interesting. So, Ivory Coast are my dark horses.

But most of all, I like teams with ugly, bald players. I can relate to them, and derive a sense of belonging*. So its France all the way!

*A disclaimer – This does not imply that I am bald or balding. I am blessed with very good hair (thank you), but am sure that the balding would start once I enter my forties. Ugliness, anyway, is a subjective term. If everyone found Thierry Henry, David Trezeguet & Fabian Barthez to be ugly, they wouldn’t have had such hot wives/girlfriends.

So, to sum up my stakes for the World Cup:

Team I hope would win – France
Team most likely to win - Brazil
Team I hope would not win – Brazil (the teeth are just too much)
Team I think would disappoint most – Germany
Outside chance of surprise – Sweden, Czech Republic
If not France, then – Italy, England
Dark Horses – Ivory Coast
Best Wagers – Argentina (Brazil odds are too ugly)
Final four prediction – Brazil, Argentina, France, England
Golden Boot – Thierry Henry
Players to watch out for – Kaka, Messi, Requilme, Ronaldinho, Henry
‘Wishful-Thinking’ Comeback – Zinedine Zidane

Let the show begin…

PS : Just wanted to let my readers (yeah.. both of them) know that I would be celebrating the long weekend in Cairns and would be far away from the anything as urban as the internet. If I survive, will be back on Tuesday :)

The Devil's Own

2006-06-07T10:12:00.000+05:30

In a startling discovery in the field of numerological sciences, ‘scholars’ in India have managed to ascertain the reasons behind some of the deadliest natural calamities that have distressed the world. This amazing breakthrough which was achieved during an in-depth study of ‘666 – the number of the beast’, has determined that some of the great cricketers are the real reasons behind some of the worst disasters that have hit the world.

The most renowned of Indian numerologists (an endangered species till the advent of the Karan Johars and Ekta Kapoors), while highlighting the significance of the number 666 on 6^th June 2006 (6.6.06.), have said that three consecutive sixes stand for natural disasters

"Three sixes are supposed to be very unlucky. It suggests water trauma like a tsunami."

If only someone had told this to the cricketers, some of the most dangerous calamities might have been averted. In 1984, when Ravi Shastri was going out to bat against Baroda in a Ranji game, a group of pretty young college girls blew kisses at him from the stands. Shastri went berserk and decided to get out as early as possible in order to join the girls. However, in his endeavour to hole out at long-on, he mistakenly hit Tilak Raj for 3 sixes twice in one over. Little did he know that this erroneous feat of his would lead to the Bhopal Gas Tragedy a few months later.

In December 1989, when a 16-year old schoolboy by the name of Sachin Tendulkar hit a young Mushtaq Ahmed for 2 sixes in an exhibition match, he was dared by none other than the great Abdul Qadir – “Bachche ko kya maarta hai… mujhe maar ke dikha.” Sachin, who had just had his glass of Boost, promptly decided run after Qadir to ‘beat’ him as per his dare, while lashing out in self-defence at the missiles hurled by Qadir, only to realize later that they were 4 legitimate deliveries which he had managed to hit for sixes.

The whole nation was raving at the audacity of this kid, and also at the courage of his Boost Mentor, Kapil Dev who hit 3 sixes (plus a bonus) to avoid follow-on against England at Lords a few months later. However, they did not realize then, that these very exploits could have been the reason behind the Andhra cyclones in 1990.

In the 2000-01 season, on the eve of the Jodhpur ODI against Zimbabwe, Zaheer Khan had watched a preview of his friend Karan Johar's Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham (K3G) . When he was called upon to bat in the last few overs, he was inspired by the scene in K3G where Hrithik Roshan, while batting for his college team manages to hit a six off the last ball by remembering his elder bro’s advice “Close your eyes… think of your parents… open your eyes… don’t cry… and hit six”.

However, when Zaheer closed his eyes, he could only picture Ajit Agarkar trying to kiss his girlfriend, and so he lashed out at him with his bat. As destiny would have it, the 4 times that Zaheer tried to hit Agarkar in the groin, he managed to hit Henry Olonga’s deliveries over the park. And that my friends, might well have led to the Gujarat earthquake in 2001

For those who may not remember, the Orissa cyclones (1999) were preceded by a pre-MK-Gupta-days Hansie Cronje becoming the first South African to hit 3 consecutive sixes in a Test match against Sri Lanka in late 1998. Now you might ask, why would a South African’s act lead to a disaster in India? Because we are talking about numerology, silly… and not Vaastu-shastra. Since The Devil only associates himself with numerology and discards vaastu and feng-shui, his sense of direction is not accurate.

This is the reason why Lara’s 3 sixes against Darren Lehman at Dunedin resulted in Tsunamis in South East Asia, and Gilchrist’s rampage of 3 sixes against Pakistan’s Mohammad Asif in 2005, led to the Bombay floods. However, if you thought the Aussies have had it easy, you might be surprised to know that the Devil does believe in equity and equality. Hence, Nathan Astle’s 3 consecutive sixes against West Indies in early 2006 led to a cyclone in Australia.

So, thanks to this discovery, god-forbid if there is another calamity in the next few days, you know who to blame - MS Dhoni, of course. What was he thinking when he hit Dave Mohammad for 3 consecutive sixes yesterday? Could he not have been more responsible?

Anyways, have to make a confession here – Till a few years back, I used to think that numerologists were the most jobless and useless people in the world. However, my belief was changed when a diva by the name of Ekta Kapoor came on the Indian television scene with a penchant for numerology and the letter K. I started believing in the wonders of numerology then. How else can one explain the success of her crappy soap operas?

Post Script : Last heard, Ekta Kapoor had supposedly got bored of her run-of-the-mill soaps and has decided to go the Ram Gopal Verma way by remaking some classic serials. The hit DD serial Hum Log would be remade under the Balaji banner as Kam Log, and the classic Nukkad would be re-launched (with a twist in the storyline to cover the recent bird-flu issues) as Kukkad. However, she was miffed when the Censor Board did not give her permission to remake Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayana, on the grounds that the title recommended by her numerologists was inappropriate for a mythological epic.

Perception vs Reality

2006-06-03T07:16:00.000+05:30

Question 1: Which out of the following is closest to the ideology followed by the Narmada Bachao Andolan (NBA) with respect to the Sardar Sarovar Project (SSP)?

Infrastructure projects like SSP should ensure appropriate rehabilitation and resettlement (R&R) for affected parties
The R&R policy proposed by the government for the affected parties needs to be improved upon
Infrastructure projects like SSP are not good for the society and should not be undertaken. Period

Question 2: Which out of the following is closest to the broad objective of the Narmada Bachao Andolan (NBA)?

Represent the project affected families to obtain adequate R&R compensation
Ensure that the R&R policy is rolled-out effectively at a ground level
Attempt to halt the Sardar Sarovar Project

Question 3: What does Aamir Khan endorse with respect to the Sardar Sarovar Project?

The Narmada Bachao Andolan (NBA)
Effective R&R for affected parties
Umm… I am confused :(

Now for the answers. Simple – The option closest to the correct answer in all cases is C

If you thought that NBA stood for appropriate R&R for affected families, then you are wrong. That’s the Supreme Court’s stand, with which NBA clearly does not agree. And, if you thought the NBA represented the affected people in getting justice with respect to R&R, then again, you are not quite correct.

NBA’s stand has been very clear – Large Dams are not good for the society (Option C). The basis of this stand is that according to the NBA, adequate rehabilitation and resettlement is impossible.

“Big Dams are to a Nation's 'Development' what Nuclear Bombs are to its Military Arsenal. They're both weapons of mass destruction.” – Arundhati Roy (link)

“It is easy for an outsider to say, “Oh now why don’t you compromise and play a role in rehabilitating people?” But we know that rehabilitation is not possible” – Medha Patkar (link)

I would really be interested in knowing how many people got the answers right the first time. I would not have, unless I had read through this brilliantly researched piece by Siddhartha Shome. It’s a long post, but please go through it in detail. It’s worth the time. Well, I am compelled to believe Siddhartha’s analysis, but I think the NBA does deserve some credit for creating unprecedented visibility around the project, which would help in ensuring that the ground-level roll-out is more efficient than in most such cases.

And coming to the more interesting aspect of Aamir Khan’s stand, he has left me in a state of utter confusion. First, he identifies himself with the NBA, and then he says that he stands for adequate R&R for the affected people, without realizing that the two are essentially contradictory stands. He even said that he was happy with the Supreme Court’s decision to ensure proper R&R pari passu, while the NBA was crying hoarse at how the Supreme Court has let them down by not stopping construction

A clarification – this post is not pro or anti NBA. It is designed to just showcase how our views are based on the general perception rather than reality and facts. I wonder how many of the people who have taken a stand on this issue, have actually made the effort to understand the facts that lie behind it. But then, all of them can take comfort in the fact that they are not alone… they have the great superstar Aamir Khan in their club too!

Fanaa (aha!)

2006-05-28T15:24:00.000+05:30

[Warning – Spoilers galore]
For those who read my short 'non-spoiler' review of Fanaa, I owe you an apology. After a lot of introspection, it has finally dawned on me that this movie is an ingenious one, with loads to offer to the progress of the economy, society and mankind in general. Before you start thinking that I am just being sarcastic, let me tell you why:

1. Imprinting the movie title
In a country where scores of movies release every week, it's so easy for one to forget its title. For example, people still confuse the Hungamas and Hulchuls, the Shaadi se Pehles and Shaadi No.1s. But, Kunal Kohli devises an ingenious plan to ensure that the viewer never forgets the title. He packages it into a shayari, a very potent weapon mind you… and hits you on your head with it so many times that your brains go numb and all you can remember is 'Fanaa'. Brilliant!

2. Highlighting historical significance
This is not just limited to the tour of India Gate, Red Fort, Qutub Minar and other historical monuments. The ultimate masterstroke was a dialogue by Kajol: “Shah Jahan ne kaha hai ki dharti pe agar kahin swarg hai to wo yahin hai, yahin hai, yahin hai.” Now, you might have thought it was Jahangir who said this. So after the movie, you will definitely google about this to clear the confusion. An excellent way of using one small mistake to ensure that the common man reconnects with the history of the country. Kudos!!

3. Showing speed of technological advancement
Day 1: Aamir Khan radios his comrades and gives them his location coordinates in a ‘coded’ message. Indian Intelligence intercepts this message, but cannot locate Aamir, because the message was ‘coded’
Day 2: Kajol uses the same radio and the message is received by the same team. But, hey presto… they can now locate her. How? Through the radio frequency, silly. Yesterday it was not possible and so they had to put a code expert to decode Aamir’s message… but today it is. Shows young kids how fast technology is advancing today.

4. Social Message on birth control
Have you noticed how in Bollywood there are no condoms… never ever! And what’s more the success rate is always 100%. So if you see a song which shows the protagonists slowly getting cozy, and then the camera either hazing out or focusing on two flowers in the garden, then you definitely know what’s going to follow. Either the “Main tumhare bachche ki maa banne waali hoon” dialogue… or a fast forward into future which shows a dukhi maa raising her only child

Kohli does well to use this cliché again and give a clear message to all viewers - “Use Protection.” Amazing! And he then further emphasizes this through the role of the kid, who has an irritating way of talking and calling himself by his first name. The message-‘Think twice before having a kid; this is what you are getting into'. I know some people (read: women) found the kid’s mannerisms quite cute… but these are the same people (read: women + Karan Johar) who had tears in their eyes when the girl in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai does the namaz scene. I must admit that at this scene, even I was choked with emotion (laughter's an emotion, isn’t it?)

5. Opportunity for Contraceptive Manufacturers
Continuing from Point#4, by highlighting the absence of condoms in Hindi movies, Kohli has given a subtle message to condom companies to use this opportunity for promotion. Imagine this - 2 years from now Fanaa is screened on SET Max – Aamir coincidentally lands up at Kajol’s doorstep and finds that she has a son – Commercial Break – First Advert – Nirodh Condoms with a punchline, “Agar Nirodh istamal kiya hota to aisa nahi hota” – What impact!

6. Focusing on innovations
Example 1: There’s a blast at Red Fort and supposedly Aamir is one of the victims and his body is distorted to the extent that no one can recognize it. But hey presto… the sweater he is wearing is totally intact without any scratch. How how? Duh…because Kajol was using the latest invention in tailoring sciences – the magic wool!
Example 2: Kajol is operated upon and gets back her eyesight and what’s more, she can see completely clearly without any glasses etc, even immediately after the operation. How how? Come on… this was easy… due to the magic rosewater from the Jama Masjid… what else!
Example 3: Aamir and Kajol are traveling back in an auto, and the auto’s radio is playing the Lata Mangeshkar song ‘Lag ja gale’. They get off the auto but hey… the song continues in the background. How how? This was a sitter… it was actually Aamir’s new iPod with Bose stereos that was playing this song all the while.. fooled ya, didn’t it?

7. Showcasing Indian literary culture
Fanaa gives a sound wake-up call to the western world to shake them out of their snobbish haughtiness. The snooty British and the likes, who believe Shakespeare and Yeats to be the final word on poetry would have been shocked to see how everyday characters in India converse in poetry. In fact I could see the look of horror on the faces of a few local Aussies (who might have landed in the wrong theatre) as they read the poetic subtitles (with fitting translations). Needless to say, now that they know how even tour guides in India converse, they will take Indian literary talents more seriously

8. Education on nuclear technology
We are informed that the IKF has managed to assemble a nuclear bomb by stealing parts of it from India, Pakistan and other countries. I could almost envisage the process:
IKF terrorist sneaks in behind the security guard and says “Look, a bird” and poaches a small canister with nuke parts. The next day another one goes and says “Look an airplane” and steals the trigger.
Next day at the IKF camp – Sardar: “Trigger kahan hai”. Kaalia: “Sardar gatli ho gayi… main galti se uski daaroo ka pauvah le aaya” Sardar: “iski saza milegi…”

9. Stressing importance of healthy lifestyle
Kajol radios the intelligence team that her husband is the terrorist they are looking for. She is scared, alone and desperate, and thankfully the team can now locate her through the overnight tech. innovation. But their response is – “We will be there tomorrow.” Why tomorrow, you ask? The woman is alone and they are in the same district… then why not today? The answer is simple – Haven’t you been taught the importance of healthy living? 8 hours of sleep and breakfast are bare necessities, and Fanaa does well to stress that.

10. Glorifying RAW
Now, RAW is one intelligence unit which does not get its dues (for once I am serious). But then, Kohli uses this movie to tell people how RAW is the most superior intelligence organization. So, take this dialogue by Tabu:
“Ye wo insaan hai jisne IKF ka rukh badal diya hai… ye CIA, KGB, Mossad aur yahan tak ki RAW se bhi ek kadam aage hai” Notice the emphasis on yahan tak ki. Well done!

11. Timing of comedy scenes
Kajol calls her mother and tells her that she has just met some guy in Delhi blah blah. Mommy dear’s first question : “To kya tum usse pyaar karti ho?” I almost fell off my chair laughing!

Omygod… this is becoming really long, so I will straight jump to-
12. The most important lesson:
So what was the most important lesson that Kunal Kohli taught us?
Answer – If you dump together a few good actors, a vague concept, a good cinematographer, and a big banner, it won’t produce a good movie. Movie-making is about much more. So if you indeed want to make a film like this, you are better off making it under a Saawan Kumar Banner with Puru Raaj Kumar and Neha Dhupia. At least the audience would know what to expect. Great sacrifice performed by Kunal Kohli in getting the message across! God bless him (and us)

Fanaa (aaaargh)

2006-05-27T13:25:00.000+05:30

No spoilers - read on!

Somehow, I never had very high expectations from Fanaa even though it starred the most choosy of stars. The promos, previews, etc never did the trick for me, and never aroused a strong desire to go watch the movie. It seemed to be a regular run-of-the-mill senti Yashraj film... And it was only the compulsive-Hindi-cinema-freak obligation that made me cave in. Well, I was not disappointed... actually, frustrated would be a more apt word!

Dont take me wrong here... I think that with some luck, Fanaa may turn out to be a hit. If movies like Raja Hindustani, Raam Teri Ganga Maili, etc can be huge superhits, then anything is possible in Indian cinema. Like every Hindi movie, Fanaa too, would appeal to a fair share of people... but unfortunately, I am not one of them.

In this age of modern slick movie-making, Fanaa takes you back some 10-15 years with unrealistic dialogues, melodramatic background music, over-dramatized scenes, predictable twists, side actors breaking into coordinated dance sequences at lip-synched ill-timed songs, horrendous horrendous make-up (what were they thinking), patchy ugly editing, numerous unacceptable scripting errors, and the worst of all -unbearable, intolerable SENTI! (whew!)

I have to resist a very strong temptation to take apart the whole storyline, and also publish a long, long list of indigestible mistakes... but I guess I will hold off for a while, in the interest of people who may not have yet seen the movie and are still planning to (God bless them!). A separate post will follow in a few days about that. So, the obvious question is - Was there anything good about the movie? Answer - Umm, well (scratching my head) ... only thing I can think of is - well, nothing!

[Update : I could not hold on to myself for much longer... so here is the detailed version of the review (with spoilers and bloopers)... I hope you enjoy it!]

Yes Minister

2006-05-25T10:33:00.000+05:30

The Indian media is abuzz with stories on the reservation decision taken by the government today. For a long time now, this debate has been raging on between people who favour reservations and those who do not. A bit of comic relief is always welcome when there has been so much tension and heat in the air. And trust the politicians to volunteer and provide this comic relief.

The following is an excerpt from CNN-IBN’s programme Devil’s Advocate hosted by Karan Thapar and the guest is The Hon’ble Minister of Industry and Commerce, Kamal Nath

Karan Thapar: The NSSO 1999 [...] conclusively shows that the share of SCs, STs and OBCs in employment is exactly proportional to their share of the population.
Kamal Nath: […] You take one district and you say this is happening. Is it happening everywhere?
Karan Thapar: Yes these NSSO figures are nationwide.
Kamal Nath: Your figures are inaccurate.
Karan Thapar: They are not my figures, they are your figures.
Kamal Nath:That’s what you are saying.
Karan Thapar: They are the national sample survey figures 1999. They are available from the government. They are authenticated by the government. They are disseminated by the government.
Kamal Nath:That's what you are saying.
Karan Thapar: That's not what I am saying, that's what the government is saying.
Kamal Nath: That's what you are saying what the government is saying. That's not what I am saying and that's not what NSSO saying.
Karan Thapar: It seems that you don't know the NSSO figures.
Kamal Nath: It seems to me that what you read, you do not reflect in the context in which it is.
Karan Thapar: When you distrust the NSSO figures ....
Kamal Nath: I am not distrusting NSSO figures. Do you think the government is off its head? We have been winning elections.

I guess in the wake of the doctors' strike, the ministers have taken on the mantle with a sincere belief in the saying "Laughter is the best medicine". You can see the entire transcript here, and if this is not enough amusement for a day, you can catch Arjun Singh's interview here. If someone can understand our honourable minister's arguments in favour of reservations, and can enlighten me on the same, then he is an ideal Lok Sabha candidate for the UPA

Well, I am quite tempted to offer my opinion (which could run into pages and pages) on the reservation debate too. But there is no point because what needs to be said has already been said by someone or the other in the zillions of blog-posts on reservations written by thousands of bloggers in the blogosphere. Will just say that like every modern, educated, rational, progressive Indian, I am not in favour of reservations at a higher education level, simply because they do not address the root-cause of social/economic injustice and do not achieve the objectives for which they are being set. Period.

However, as a silent spectator, I have had some interesting observiations on the entire debate

Over the last few weeks I have received at least 3 different online petitions and I believe there are hundreds more floating around. Has the ease of electronic media actually diluted and diverged the efforts of the anti-reservation population? What purpose do these online petitions serve anyway?
If the OBCs form only 32% of the population, then this supposed 'vote-bank' politics seems to be a fallible strategy. Can the people who are against reservations (who seem to be much higher in number than their counterparts) make the government pay at the next election? Wishful thinking... it would be good if they just vote!
Should the basis of the legislation be a 75-year old report based on ancient data? But then, it's actually better than having no tangible basis
The most frequently used counter is that the government should first deal with primary education. Is it fair to assume then, that those very people who presented this argument will have no issues if their kids cannot get admission to a primary school of their choice because the seat needs to go to an OBC child? My guess is no
Has there ever been any sanity check done by the government on the benefits derived from SC/ST reservations which exist for around 50 years. If so, and if reservations were found to have actually uplifted the SC/ST population, then why has the percentage of reservations not been reduced accordingly? If they were found to have done nothing for SC/ST upliftment, then why are they still in place?

Anyways, somehow this post got diverted from where it started. So will leave you with another bit of profound humour... the subtle comic timing of this one had me applauding!

Karan Thapar: Many people say that if reservations for OBCs in higher education happen, then the children of beneficiaries should not be entitled to claim the same benefit.

Arjun Singh: Why?

Lessons on Losing

2006-05-19T20:48:00.000+05:30

[Warning : Tthis is my third post on football in a month… but then I could not resist posting this one]

The performance of two English teams over the past week, in two different Cup finals of contrasting stature, must be taken as a case study on ‘the best ways of losing.’ On Saturday night, West Ham United were defeated by Liverpool in the FA Cup final on penalties, after a 3-3 deadlock post full time. Yesterday, a 10-man Arsenal was defeated 2-1 by Barcelona in the Champions League finals.

No one can dispute the fact that both Liverpool and Barcelona were worthy winners. But then, they were always the overwhelming favourites and were expected to win. What may not have been expected was the inspiring fight that the challengers put up. Against a superior side, against all odds (including the referee in the Arsenal match) and with limited resources, the 2 sides showed what a huge difference a big heart can make.

Yesterday’s match specifically, showed what fighting spirit is all about. In spite of being reduced to 10 men in the 17^th minute, and with most of the horrendous refereeing decisions going the other way, it was really heartening to see the Gunners put up an inspiring challenge – to see Ashley Cole fighting tooth-and-nail for every ball, to see Emmanuel Eboue breaking into attacking runs even with a man down, to see Campbell and Toure’s calmness in the midst of Barca’s relentless surges forward, to see Freddie Ljungberg determination to score a second goal.

For most part of the game it did not look like Barca were playing against a 10-man side. What Arsenal lost through a red card, they made up through their mobility and spirit… but then, they are human-beings and not supermen… with 15 minutes to go, you could see them totally tired out. If only, if only, Henry had found his regular finishing touch.

One of my friends remarked that he lost all respect for Thierry Henry after this game. But my respect for the man has doubled. Yes, he could not finish when it mattered, but his passion for the team was evident in his demeanor, in his eyes, and in his post-match outburst at the referees. It showed how much Arsenal meant to him. That is why it came as no surprise, when I read this today morning (Source: BBC)

Thierry Henry is set to end months of speculation over his future by signing a new contract at Arsenal, inspired by their Champions League final display.Henry, whose contract runs out next year, had been linked with a move to Champions League winners Barcelona.

"I hope to stay as long as I can keep running. I couldn't leave the fans. They're like family," he told The Sun. "I love Barcelona, but on Wednesday Arsenal showed they had heart. I hope to finalise details today."

Yes… Arsenal do have heart. And if you have to lose, lose with dignity and your head held up, like Arsenal yesterday and West Ham on Saturday. And in spite of his inability to beat the 'keeper yesterday, kudos to Thierry Henry for listening to his heart when it matters. Have to say... I do feel proud to be an Arsenal fan!

The Days of the Underdog

2006-05-12T09:52:00.000+05:30

It was after Desi Train awarded Rajpal Yadav with the OzCAR Award for Best Actor, that I decided to watch Main, Meri Patni aur Woh. And when I finished the movie, I was surprised that there was little or no coverage of this movie in the Indian media. I saw articles, interviews, coverage of some of the crappiest films of the year, but none for this, which was one of the better ones.

I have to say that I have become a huge fan of Rajpal Yadav after this movie. So far, he has been playing the comic sidekick to perfection. But his portrayal of Mithilesh Shukla or Chhote Babu in this movie makes you stand up and applaud. After years and years, here was a character that brought out in you the quality of empathy. Through his acting, body language, expression, etc Yadav has ensured that the viewer gets into the mind of the character and starts relating to his thought process.

Chhote Babu is a simple man in his mid-thirties who has no desire to get married until he is forced by his family to see a girl in Bareili, who in spite of being beautiful and tall, agrees to marry him because he is a good man at heart. What follows next is a narration of the games his mind plays with him. As you see the story progress, your heart pains for Chhote Babu…you can relate to his inferiority complex, you can experience his dilemmas, you can sense his over-active mind. The character has the ability to reach out and touch you, and make you sympathize for him.

I loved this movie for the reason that it was about the underdog! It’s been a long, long time since we had movies like these, which have a non-hero, a weakling, an everyday below-average guy as a protagonist. The couple of movies which come to mind straightaway and which incidentally are some of my personal favourites are:

Katha
The movie based on the Tortoise-and-Hare fable, where Naseer plays the tortoise to perfection as Rajaram Purshottam Joshi, a weakling who lives alone in a chawl, secretly loves his neighbour’s daughter, and is a low-confidence, low-ambition clerk who is always pulled into doing favours for others.

He is the proverbial nice-guy who is overshadowed for most of the movie by his friend Vashu, the Hare, played by Farooque Sheikh. Confidence, street-smartness, smooth-talk are the hallmarks of his character. Vashu manages to con Rajaram’s boss for a job at a more senior level than his friend, and also be-dazzles Rajaram’s love interest Sandhya (played by Dipti Naval) who falls for him. However, in the end the tortoise wins against the hare.

The best part in this movie was the characterization. You could sense what Rajaram was thinking and what was going through his mind. You would be able to relate to Vashu’s motives and moves. What’s surprising is that Naseer and Farooque, who had played quite opposite roles so far in their lives manage to slip into their respective characters with uncanny ease. Amazing acting and characterization and brilliant direction by Sai Paranjpe– watch this movie if you have not watched it yet.

Chhoti Si Baat
Again, a story of a loser Arun (Amol Palekar), who is always ridiculed by colleagues, conned by one and all, and trampled over by the whole world. He loves a girl Prabha (Vidya Sinha) but has neither the confidence nor the courage to even speak to her. He is bull-dozed over by Nagesh (Asrani) who is a smooth talking confident buffoon, who manages to be-friend Prabha and does not leave any opportunity to mock or embarrass Arun, who is depressed to the limit because of this.

His savior is the love-guru, Colonel Julius Nagendranath Wilfred Singh (Ashok Kumar). He puts Arun through his structured training programme and transforms him into a completely different, smart, confident guy. What follows next is how Arun turns the tables on all the people who have conned him, ridiculed him and trampled over him, including Asrani, and how he wins the girl of his life.

Again, watch this movie for the brilliant portrayal of everyday-life characters, the simplicity of the story-line and narration and the ability of the characters to strike a chord with you, the viewer. One of Basu Da’s brilliant works!

Some other movies like Chashme Baddoor, Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, etc showcase the protagonist(s) as the underdog and are masterpieces in themselves… but they cannot evoke the same kind of empathy as the 3 movies mentioned above.

When it comes to Hindi cinema, gone are the days of the underdog… the days when directors like Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Sai Paranjpe, Basu Chatterjee used to take simple everyday lives and turn them into entertaining movies. But with Main, Meri Patni…, there is a flicker of hope. We need more from people like Chandan Arora, and less from people like Karan Johar, Sanjay Gupta and Subhash Ghai.

Goodbye Highbury

2006-05-08T10:07:00.000+05:30

This is a post which only a few would be able to relate to. It's to wish a good bye to Arsenal's home-ground Highbury. Its only a few hours to go before Arsenal take position on the field (against Wigan) for the last time in Highbury, to end a 93 year old legacy. One of the best and well-maintained pitches in the football world will then be history for the gunners, as Arsenal move to a new ground- the Emirates Stadium which will be able to host an additional 30-40K fans.

Well, I remember that the first live premiership match that I saw on TV was at Highbury in the 1997-98 season (when they started showing EPL on ESPN), and I instantly fell in love with the team. This was the year that Arsenal won the double, beating Newcastle in the FA Cup final with Marc Overmars scoring a memorable goal.

Most people would not be able to understand this, but all Arsenal fans will defintely miss the green turf, the low angle cameras for the coverage, the shadows in a day game, and of course the cheering and merry-making that always accompanies an Arsenal goal. It will be an emotional farewell, especially for Wenger and his boys, for whom Highbury has been synonymous to home.

The best tribute that Arsenal can pay to Highbury is by winning it big against Wigan and making it a memorable affair for all the fans. However, the biggest present can come only from West Ham, who by beating or holding Tottenham tonight can ensure that Arsenal earn the pass to the Champions League. I have never cared about the Hammers ever... but will be supporting them in full force tonight!

Here is hoping that Highury does get the fitting farewell that it so richly deserves...

Update : A perfect goodbye... 4-2 win, with Henry scoring a hattrick, and West-Ham beating the Spurs 2-1. People talk about their favourite moments at Highbury... for me, one of the best moments at Highbury was yesterday, when Thierry Henry kneeled down and kissed the turf after scoring his hat-trick.

Working Out? I use the TV instead!

2006-05-04T09:26:00.000+05:30

"I am burning 400 more calories than you, in a single day", said a friend of mine with a lot of pride and enthusiasm. What's more, he was even equipped with a calorie consumption chart by activity, from his fitness center, which showed that his newly initiated hour-long fitness regime helps him consume 400 extra cals of energy. He had a passion in his voice and a sense of achievement in his demeanor.

It was the chart, however, which interested me more... It showed that an average guy would consume 75 Cal/hour even while sleeping, 120 Cal/hr while watching TV or sitting idle, and 200 Cal/hr while doing office work, and 250 cal/hr while regular walking. Thats when my mind immediately started to tick! The detail-oriented accountant in me suddenly took over with a vengeance, since he doesn't get too many opportunities to display his utility anyways.

So I said "You sleep 8 hours, while I sleep 5, so I spend 135 Calories more than you there itself. Also, I spend at least a couple of hours more at work than you do, so I spend an extra 160 Calories there. So straightaway, I consume 295 more calories than you. And let us assume that even if I am sitting idle and watching TV while you are sweating it out in the gym, you burn an extra 280 Calories only. So in essence, you have joined this fitness program so that you can burn 15 calories less than I already do with my leisurly lifestyle"

For a second, there was no response. Then there was an attempt, which was withdrawn at the last moment. Finally a retort came "I cannot help it if you are a bloody insomniac, and not my fault if you spend a little more time at work." I could only smile (evil one that is) and say "I guess you should increase the work-out time to 2 hours now"

Somehow I had forgotten how much I loved putting people in a spot, and proving them wrong. A reminder like this always helps :) And a great man had once said "If you are convinced totally, on what path needs to be taken, justifying it will never be a problem". It has not been a problem for me so far, once I convinced myself after a fair trial that gymming, fitness training, and exercising is not a path I want to take.

Working Holiday

2006-04-27T07:10:00.000+05:30

Well, every working guy has to work a weekend here and a weekend there, sometime or the other. I have had no more than my fair share of working weekends / holidays. In fact, except the initial few months, I haven't really had to work on a weekend or holiday. Yesterday was Anzac Day, a public holiday in Australia, and as it turned out to be, a holiday when I had to work (in a long time), more due to my inefficiency and laziness, than due to over-burden.

Its amazing how a working holiday gives you a totally different feel. Though I never like working on a holiday, its amazing how one can manage to get so much work done on a day off. Somehow my efficiency increases on such a day. Yesterday, I was left wondering why... possible reasons:

Freedom to define your hours of work - You can wake up at 11:00 am, have breakfast, surf the net, watch a sitcom, and start work at 1:00 pm
No disturbances - Total solitude, whether in office or at home... no phone calls through the day, no meetings, no conference calls, no cluttering keypads (except your own), no voices chattering away on their respective desks
Music - The whole work 'experience' gets a boost if you can get some moozik playing in the background
Breaks - While on office days, the max. you can do is accompany colleagues for sutta-breaks apart from the lunch break, here you can even take a half-hour break and play stick-cricket, or take an hour-long break and go for a walk
Peace of mind - A day when no-one else, or rather not many others are working, you feel a strange peace of mind... you can walk into office in shorts, t-shirts and floaters... and you feel strangely free...

Now I know how artists, painters, writers, etc can get their creativity flowing so well... because they are not bound by office hours and office norms.. But having said that, personally, I would rather work in an office environ on a day to day basis...
Now back to work :(

Go Gunners!

2006-04-20T13:27:00.000+05:30

Waking up early has never been an easy task for me. Have always been a late-to-bed and struggling-to-rise person. There are a very few things which could motivate me to wake up at a pre-dawn hour. One example of such a rare occurance was the 1992 Cricket World Cup, where I consistently woke up at 5 am for all India matches. And another example would be the last couple of days when I woke up at 4:30 am. The reason : Champions League Semi-Finals

At a pre-quarter final stage, most people would have predicted the 4 teams to make it to the semis as Barcelona, AC Milan, Inter Milan and Juventus. Well, they got it half right! The surprise packages being Villareal and Arsenal (ye ye!) . Today morning, Arsenal took the first baby step by securing a 1-0 victory in the first leg at home against the Spaniards. While it is not a brilliant result, it is still a step in the right direction and now they just need to hold their nerves in the away leg next week. In any case, as Thierry Henry put it, 1-0 is always better than 2-1

In what can be described as one of the worst domestic seasons for Arsenal, where they are still struggling to get a top-4 finish to qualify for next year's Champs League, they have been surprisingly different on a European stage. Flashes of their 2002-03 brilliance have been re-emerging at a CL stage, with them having gone 9 games without conceding a goal and gobbling up giants Real Madrid and Juventus on their road to the semis.

The gunners lifting the trophy has been a dream, but now it does seem strangely realistic. They need just 2 good games and bang.. the trophy is theirs. Not may expect Arsenal to pull off this surprise, but then, not many expected them to reach this stage. Here is hoping that they come off victorious in the away leg, and then beat the shit out of AC Milan (hopefully) or Barca in Paris

Spike Lee Joint ...Chhaiya Chhaiya

2006-04-13T07:56:00.000+05:30

Inside Man was just my second Spike Lee experience after Malcolm X, and was definitely worth a dekko. There were 2 reasons why I wanted to see this movie, apart from the fact that it was supposed to be on a bank robbery and starred Clive Owen and Denzel Washington.

Firstly, the fact that this guy titles his works of cinema as 'A Spike Lee Joint' instead of say, a regular 'Spike Lee Production' makes it quite intriguing. There is something about this 'joint' thing which makes you smile at this guy's attitude and arouses immediate interest in his work. The second reason was the fact that this movie had Rahman's song Chhaiya Chhaiya (from Dil Se) in its sound track, and supposedly it was also featured in the movie.

So, I go in expecting a very short, cropped version of Chhaiya Chhaiya to be played as a backdrop possibly when the robbers would be stuffing their bags with bundles of currency from the bank lockers. But I was shocked when the song was what the movie started with! Yes... it is played as a sound-track for the movie's titles, and what's more... it is played in full!!

The movie starts with Clive Owen staring in your face in all seriousness, giving his introduction and claiming that he had pulled off the most perfect bank robbery. And then, the movie breaks into Chhaiya Chhaiya as the titles are displayed. AND... this is the only song used in the entire movie! What else could you have asked for... well, apart from a couple of hot females dancing to Rahman's tunes on top of the van used by the robbers (a-la-Malaika)

Would really love to know how the Western audiences reacted to this song... whether they liked it, whether they thought it was out of place, whether they knew the origin, whether they wanted to find out the language, etc etc. Honestly, I felt rather wierd listening to this song as a backdrop to a Hollywood movie, sitting in a packed cinema hall filled with people who wouldn't know Hindi. But thats probably because I have heard and seen this song so many times, but in a different setting, and this element of surprise was too overwhelming at that point of time.

Anyways, net-net, its a good movie... Clive Owen was quite impressive, and the entire plot would make you think about the movie even long after you have left the cinema hall. If the last 2 English movies that you have watched in a theatre are Munich and Syriana, you would not have expected the next one to hold up to the standards... But surprisingly, this Spike Lee Joint did.

Placements ... Rang De

2006-03-21T22:09:00.000+05:30

The news of the recently concluded placement season brought back very happy memories from my campus days… It’s been just about a year, but life has taken a sharp turn into monotony… from the night-outs, the drunken parties, and the passionate discussions at 4 in the morning, you straightaway move to 7:00 am alarms, polite small-talk and rigorous reviews. And it’s not till you jump on this road that you realize how pleasant the old road was.

Strangely, the first thought that came to my mind from this situation was of Daljit Singh in Rang De Basanti. I could so easily relate to DJ's fear of going beyond the life of college campus and friends due to the uncertainty on the other side of the college gates and the fear of being just another face in the crowd. For me, it is the relative dullness in life after campus that brings out a craving to go back and live that spirited life forever…

But then you have to move on… because there are bigger issues in the world which have to be tackled and then, a lot of what you treasure from the campus memories, just disappears or dilutes significantly. Friends tread different paths, more often than not sanity prevail, minds have to worry about ‘concrete’ stuff, and transformation is inevitable… whew, what a transformation!

On a different note, what a rocking placement season! A third of the batch getting placed in Slot 0, and processes getting wrapped up early in Slot 2. I guess most of the people would have got jobs they wanted and preferred…or rather, jobs they believed they wanted and preferred (still cannot understand how almost everyone prefers i-banking and consulting). Most people would be happy and celebrating, and thinking that they have finally achieved what they wanted to, when they set foot in campus.

The Investment Bankers would go off thinking that they have got the best jobs in the world, the Consultants would revel at the smart career choice they made when they chose their line over investment banking, the FMCG guys would be happy that they finally landed where they wanted to in-spite of all the peer pressure, the IT people would snigger at how they have been clever at taking up what they were meant to, the Merchant Bankers would take pride in the action involved in their jobs, and the Retail/Corporate Bankers would be pleased that they chose the right sector

One year down the line, the scene changes quite drastically. The Investment Banker frowns at the monotony of his work-life and starts calculating his expected bonus and comparing with his peers and thinking how he can beat everyone. The Consultant sulks at the traveling and wonders where the hell is the opportunity of changing the world which was promised to him… he looks around at the old faces at the public sector client site and wonders how much money the I-banker would be making.

The FMCG guy is totally frustrated by his exploits in rural Tamil Nadu or Bihar, the very adventure in which had drawn him to the job… he would be wondering where is the connection between what Philip Kotler taught and what I am doing, and how stupid was I to not fall trap to the peer pressure and get into one of the banks or consults where my batch-mates are having a ball? The IT guy would question the relevance of someone of his capabilities and qualifications doing what he is doing and crib about the futility of doing an MBA

The Merchant Banker would kick himself at the stupid choice he made by committing to 18-hour days on an ongoing basis and would long for one day when there is peace and quiet and there is no action. He would think about his friends who took up business consulting and who are flying around and ‘changing the world’. The Bankers would think how everyone else is making more money then they are, and how everyone else is not bound by the training and rotational programs that they so unjustly are.

Everyone (well, almost everyone… lets say 75% of the people) would think that they could have done better if they had more information then… and how the other guy is so better placed in life… how one’s own job is so monotonous and frustrating, and how everyone else has got stimulating and better jobs. Moral of the story:

Grass is always greener on the other side
All jobs are equally bad… or rather equally good
Even a fool can be made a genius if he is equipped with hindsight upfront

And most importantly…

If expectations are aligned with reality, there would be no regrets

Here’s wishing the Class of 2006 luck over their diverse careers… and hoping that they have their expectations firmly in check

(Acknowledgement : A friend whose writing inspired the Rang-de-Basanti connection)

Catching Up

2006-03-13T04:13:00.000+05:30

Has been quite tough to remain upto speed with blogging over the last few weeks. There have been numerous things on my mind, waiting to be put up here... ranging from the Oscars to the greatest one-day ever, from the Champions League pre-quarters to my discovery of Indian-chinese food in Sydney... but have to say, the most amazing event in the last few weeks has been Mardi-Gras 2006!

The Sydney Mardi-Gras is a carnival (parade and party) organized by the gay community in the city to celebrate their solidarity and existence. Ever since I landed in Sydney, I have been hearing about this event, and had been apprehensive that it may not be able to live up to the hype that people had managed to create around it. However, have to say that it totally lived up to expectations!

If one had thought that he had seen it all... he had to have witnessed the mardi-gras. Not for the fact that there were 6000-odd people from the gay community parading proudly in exotic costumes, with the most corny banners, and performing their little item numbers... but for the sheer atmosphere, and the buzz in the air. There were over 300,000 people thronging one small street on the sides, cheering on the teams, shouting slogans, and of course guzzling beer! It was like something you could not have seen before. Am putting up one of the uncensored pictures to give an idea...
Anyways, while I am at it, I can't but write about the most amazing game of one-day cricket that I have seen... Yesterday's match between Australia and South Africa simply beats any other match in the history of the game in terms of excitement, audacity and adrenalin (even the World Cup'99 Semi final between the same teams). What a game!!!!

I dont think there is anything I can say that would describe appropriately the excitement of the game, or how cruel it can be... but do spare a thought for the following people:

Ricky Ponting... who did everything right as a captain and a batsman in the first half of the match, but would be now kicking himself for making the faux pas of persisting with the inexperienced Mick Lewis, when his main strike bowler Brett Lee still had overs in the bag
Mick Lewis... the hero of the last game, the man branded as a good death-overs bowler, who would now go down in history books as the man with one of the most undesired world records to his name
Nathan Bracken... the only bowler from both sides to bowl with some kind of control and to take a 5-wicket haul, but who would always be remembered in the context of this match for dropping a Gibbs sitter at a crucial moment

Whew... cannot imagine what the game would be like 10-15 years from now. Maybe 500 would be a regular feature

Priceless!

2006-02-11T19:58:00.000+05:30

Subscription for Live Streaming ... $ 21
S-Video Cable (Comp to TV) ... $ 39
Two 6-Packs of James Boags ... $19

Seeing Yuvraj hit the winning runs ... Priceless

SCG Revisited

2006-02-09T13:33:00.000+05:30

Sunday was when I paid my second visit to the Sydney Cricket Ground... this time under the lights. The Australia-South Africa clash was quite one-sided and disappointing... but it was good fun watching Gilchrist blazing away, and then the rest of the Aussie batting too.

At the grounds, you get a real taste of the aussie way of life and also their capacity for guzzling beer. A small group sitting in front of us managed to down around a dozen glasses each... we also managed to down 5 each. Though they serve just Cascade Light, somehow, I felt that the ones at the stadium were even lighter than ususal... maybe they did customize the serving to keep the crowd within reasonable limits of madness

The ground under lights is a treat to watch. The players appear much closer and accessible... some of the pictures give a real close-up into the match (like the one above)... Am eagerly waiting for a chance to pay a third visit :)

Rang De Basanti

2006-01-30T06:20:00.001+05:30

One Word Review – Brilliant!

One Sentence Review – Don’t waste time reading reviews but book tickets instead

One Para Review – Amazing movie with a strong message and a lot of fun. This one has everything working for it, and after Swades, it’s the first movie which has left me with a lot of food for thought. The highlights of the movie are the way the message has been packaged and served, the way the understated camaraderie and bonding of college friends has been shown, the way the music has been blended into the storyline, the way each and every character has been intensely developed, the way the movie has been made technically, the way nothing has been over-dramatized and the way no character is given an overpowering presence (including Aamir). Net-net, people can and will think of hazaar flaws, cribs and criticisms for the movie, but I cannot possibly think of anyone who would regret seeing it and who would not think about it later…

Some Pearls

2006-01-13T15:14:00.000+05:30

Had to share a few pearls of wisdom shed by one of the profs on my recent visit to campus. He is a prof who is well into his 60s but is totally young at heart.

About relationships:
"You can have a happy married life if you remember 2 simple rules:
1. She is always right
2. You are always sorry"

About work-life balance :
"The idea is to find your balance in whatever position you are put into by your employer...
... Some companies nowadays take it so seriously that it should be called 'life-work balance' "

About entrepreneurship :
"Its all about how much guts you have got and how much money you can get..."

Seriously... these are indeed pearls!

Singapore

2005-12-06T01:57:00.000+05:30

Catch up sessions with friends can be the most pleasant of experiences. I seriously envy those people who are living a life in close proximity with their good old friends with whom they can sometimes shrug off their corporate avatar and be like themselves in the old campus days... no inhibitions while drinking, no restricting yourself while using liberal french words, no thinking twice before inflicting sharp insulting remarks, and totally no hassles..

That is why I had made a whirlwind decision a couple of weeks back to drop off in Singapore for a weekend while on the way back to India. Singapore, after all is a place where there reside some 18-odd of my batchmates, a few of whom are very close friends, and a few others are good friends too. Friday night was when I landed here and it turned out to be a pretty long night. It translated into a long-drawn session filled with Absolut, placecom memories, cricket trivia and general bitching about people. Nothing can be a better stress-buster than such a session... and it was around 6 AM when we finally wound up for the night

Saturday and Sunday were spent in meeting other friends, juniors who are here on IBP (a course which entails a project in Sing/Bangkok/KL for a fortnight) and other work colleagues based in Singapore. Managed to cover Sentosa, Clarke Quay, Little India, Chimes, Orchard Road and a few other places. had good fun while doing all sorts of crazy stuff on the bowling alleys, and also on the squash courts.

Overall, the feel of the place is quite good... only that the weather is so much like India, and with so many desis around, you can mistake it for being swades, till the efficient public transport system and the robust road infra jolt you to sense. (though the cabs have been a real pain!). However, it's quite hard to believe that this is all of a COUNTRY!

Anyways, one of the better weekends since April... and now for home!

One more opportunity!

2005-11-25T09:50:00.000+05:30

Well, the last week or so has been particularly busy and I have not quite gotten the time to devote to the blog. Have found out a few days back that my next project is in the Asia-pac region only, and will be based out of Sydney too! So, at least till the end of Quarter 1 in 2006, I will be based in this beautiful city. When I got this piece of news, there were several emotions racing through my mind... joy, excitement, curiosity, and also relief!

Again, to set some context, in my ~8 months in Australia, I have never ventured out to more than 120 Kms away from the heart of the city. Over 90-92% of my life here has been spent on just one street - Liverpool Street, where home and office both are situated, 3-4% in bars and restaurants in Sydney, around 1-2% in the car, and only around 2-3% has been spent in the so-called 'real' Australia, which is marked by vast tranches of empty spaces, seemingly infinite greenery, total peace and quiet with the only noises belonging to birds and animals and where the tallest structure in the vicinity would probably be the old eucalyptus tree, or the roadside lampost.

While the most important reason for such gross negligence is a phenomenon called 'inertia of rest', one cannot but indulge in the restrospective justification of his actions... which is exactly what one of the sidekicks inside my mind is doing. Ok... so what are my excuses?

For one, there was just too much workload in the initial few months of the project and all of us were working around 16 hours daily... it is true, since we used to come in at 8 AM and leave office well past midnight, sometimes even in the wee hours of morning, and we were working on most weekends too and needed to desperately reacharge our batteries whenever we had a free moment, rather than setting on a discovery of 'Real Australia'.

Secondly, in a diverse group you have to manage everyone's interests which are surprisingly not so diverse and where partying, alcohol, sleeping, lazing were more important than going out someplace far... So plans were always made, but never materialized. I had blogged about it before over here. So in the eight months here, the best I have managed to do is a daytrip to the Blue Mountains (which was disappointing since there were no mountains, only hillocks, and those too were not blue) and another wine tasting trip to the Hunter Valley, and another drive to a place called Kiama. yes, thats it... nothing outside Sydney, no Gold Coast, no bush-walking, no rock-climbing, no backpacker trips... heck, New Zealand and living the LOTR adventures is a long way off!!

But now, I have been given another chance... one more opportunity to redeem myself and thats where the relief emotion comes in. I am indeed relieved that 40 years from now when I am old and sitting with my grandchildren and when they are watching a cricket match at MCG or the 'reinvented' version of LOTR II, I will not have to live through this conversation :
"Grandpa, you have been to this place right?"
"No... kids"
"But you were just a small distance from there and you didnt go? How silly of you... we didnt know you were always senile"

I have never resolved anything over a new year day so far in my life... but this time, the resolution is quite clear and firm... To enjoy the sights and scenes of this beautiful land, because when it comes to my presence in this region, kya pata... "Kal ho na ho"

To Germany 2006...

2005-11-18T11:38:00.000+05:30

Yesterday night, all hell broke loose on the streets of Sydney. The city, which normally slips into its quiet shell on weekdays, and springs itself fervently into action on weekends, suddenly broke into an ecstatic festivity at around 11 PM on Wednesday. I must say I was startled at the huge uproar that I heard all over the city, just as I saw John Aloisi slot the final penalty kick into the net to mark Australia’s entry into the FIFA World Cup after over 30 years!

Just to set some context, soccer is one of the lesser-followed and least played sports down under. The pecking order here would be rugby, footy, cricket, and then soccer alongside tennis, hockey and a few other sports. Even the A-League, which is the country’s premier league, lacks the presence of any stars apart from Dwight Yorke, while the country’s best, like Mark Viduka and Harry Kewell prefer to play in Europe. So, when I started watching the game on TV, simultaneously listening to the running commentary of the India vs South Africa ODI on the web, I was quite surprised to see a turn-out of over 80000 people at the Telstra Dome

Also, over my stay here, I have been off-and-on surprised by the expectations that the bunch of soccer followers have from their national team, (or the Socceroos as they are popularly called) People here keep grumbling about how unfair the qualifying rules are, such that they have to play a formidable South American side, while some lowly Asian and African teams get an easy pass. One of the blokes at work, with whom I have had a few over-the-vending machine soccer and cricket conversations, was optimistic to the extent of believing that his side could even be the World Champions. “If Greece can become the European Champions, we can win the World Cup too” was his final retort, to which I had no response.

What can I say… Guus Hiddink has done it again. After taking a young Dutch side to the semi finals in 1998, and then spring-balling a never-heard-of South Korea to the 2002 semi finals, he has managed to take another underdog to the world cup finals. And I must say that I am quite a fan of his tactics, which is to use the underdog tag and ‘unknown quantity label’ to his advantage; which is why the turnout at the stadium was not the only surprise of the evening

The next surprise of the evening came when I saw Harry Kewell missing in the starting line-up of the Aussies against the talented Uruguay team, who were carrying the baggage of being the world champions twice (though it was in the 1930s). Come the half hour mark, and there we saw Kewell marching in as a substitute, which was yet another surprise. However, it was no surprise the way he inspired the team and was instrumental in the 1-0 scoreline at the end of full time as well as extra time, which meant that despite a remarkable and relentless performance by the Aussies, the match would be decided by the lottery of a penalty shoot-out. Then it was upto the brilliant hand-work of Mark Schwazer to see the Aussies through.

However, the biggest surprise of the day came when the city broke into this loud party almost immediately, and one could hear the boisterous sounds of people, cars, crackers, smashing bottles, etc till well past midnight; and I was at a bit of a loss, since I could sense the excitement in the air, but at the same time I was conscious of not being a part of the merry-making. There was just one thought in my mind then… that when India wins the Cricket World Cup, I wish I would be on the streets of Calcutta, soaking every bit of the celebrations and being very much a part of it all!!

Are we spreading the correct message?

2005-11-08T13:01:00.000+05:30

It is good to see the government taking measures to create awareness among the public about AIDS, but the question is - Is it spreading the correct message? In terms of effort, I would say that we have come a long way since a few years back when the word AIDS was taboo in our society and a person with HIV was faced with social embargo. As Tom Hanks put it in Philadelphia, he dies several times before the actual death. One thing used to be certain about any person with AIDS apart from his imminent death - it was his moral assassination.

When I was a kid (say about 10-12 years old) I used to think that AIDS was caused by illicit sex! I know it sounds downright silly, but back then there used to be a very few public messages which could clear the air for a kid like me. The only adverts you saw were of Shabana Azmi holding a child and saying "Ye bimaari chhoone se nahi failti... aise to sirf pyaar failta hai" (This disease does not spread through touch... Only love spreads this way). Also in those days, we were bereft of the virtues of the internet in gaining self-knowledge, and there was no question of asking someone about it since the word was unmentionable.

However, today, when we see much more direct and meaningful messages on the public domain about AIDS and HIV (ignoring the Balbir Pasha ones), the question remains - Is the kid of today sure of what the disease is and how it is caused, and has he managed to rid himself of the kind of confusion that kids of my time used to face? I am asking this question in the light of what I heard very recently on an Indian radio channel.

Yesterday, I was lazing at home and listening to the live commentary of the 5th ODI between India and Sri Lanka on desiwebpages.com - a site which relays the live commentary from All India Radio's Delhi channel (God bless them). One of the between-the-overs advert was on AIDS awareness, and not surprisingly, it was a very poor effort at ad-film making. It tried to combine the message with cricket, probably so that it would register in the mind of the audience.

It starts with a typical Hindi radio commentator commenting on some cricket match with the typical excitement that accompanies Hindi commentary, and relaying how the batsman could hook a dangerous bouncer for a six because he was 'cautious' (duh... doesn't make any sense at all... they should rather have shown the batsman ducking if they wanted to project cautiousness) and then asks the question : Par kya aap AIDS ke baare me saawdhaan hain? (But, are you cautious about AIDS?)

So far so good. But, then the ad goes on to list what we should do to protect ourselves from the HIV virus, in a bullet point format:

Use condoms
Be loyal to your partner
Be careful with blood transfusion
Do not indulge in pre-marital sex
Stay away from drugs and addictive substances

Till Point No. 3, it was good, but I almost fell off my chair when I heard points 4 and 5. I was like ... hullo... what the hell is that? What have pre-marital sex and drugs got to do with AIDS? Or have we made another path-breaking discovery in science which links AIDS to pre-marital sex? Or even drugs? Needless to say, my astonishment turned into anguish very soon.

Ok, we all know that drugs are not good for us, but do they have any direct corelation with AIDS? Yeah... maybe they do... because one is more prone to have unprotected sex under the influence of an addictive substance! Anyways, I could still take Point No. 5 within my stride because, though the context was not correct, the message was for the betterment of the society. However, it is point no. 4 which infuriated me completely.

Why are we sending across the wrong message to the public about a fatal disease and its causes? Why is the government still confusing the unaware youth with respect to what is right and what is wrong? What right does the government have to impose on the youth its own social beliefs and ideals, which are not even factual? Is this point just being included because traditionally, ours is a country where we do not approve of pre-marital sex, and we would like to discourage the youth from indulging in it... and what better way than taking refuge behind a deadly disease whose mention creates a fear among people?

Yesterday, kids were not sure of what caused AIDS because of the lack of public education. Today because of the very presence of this education, we have actually taken a step backward since the kids now are sure of all the wrong reasons which cause the disease. In the quest to combine moral and social beliefs with the awareness messages, the government is further mystifying the disease and perplexing the naive public. This Indianization of the message is totally unwarranted, since faulty education is worse than no education.

Of Gambling and Wagering

2005-11-02T03:45:00.000+05:30

Well, Diwali is here, and over the years, the meaning and significance of Diwali has changed so much for me. In the age span of 5-10 years, it signified crackers, lights, sweets, etc. In the age span of 10-15 years, it signified sound (more than light), bombs and festivities. In the age span of 15-20 years, it meant partying, friends, and a lot of ogling ;) And in the age span of 20+, it signifies gambling and cards more than anything else!

Well, it’s no secret that I love gambling. However, I belong to the “Enthu-but-Unlucky” club of gamblers, and my luck is always ditching me when I need it most. Gambling can be in many forms, and there are some which I prefer and some which I don’t really call gambling. My pecking order in the various forms of gambling would be as follows:

Flash - The best form of gambling for me is of course the good old-fashioned ‘jua’ also known as Flash or Poker by the pseud ones (though actual poker is slightly different). This form of gambling ranks way above all else, because of the excitement, the skill level required, and the complexity involved. It is the most intense form, and it does require a fair bit of skill and judgment. And if you thought that the game would get monotonous, you have no idea of the amounts of variations you can get… from matka to in-out to double matka to pack-change, etc etc… there could be thousands of them. I used to play a fair bit of flash with my group of friends, and used to love it, and the only reason why I am not playing regularly now is the lack of enthu gambler junta out here.

Blackjack/Roulette/Other Casino table Games – These are not the games which require a high amount of intelligence or skill, but they do need sharp instincts and fair judgment. Also, these give you a fair chance (it can never be probabilistically fair enough) of winning. It’s been a long time since I visited a casino. There is a famous one in Sydney called ‘Star City’ and the problem again has been finding company, since my colleagues here have sworn not to go there after having lost a lot of dough early on.

Sports Betting – There used to be a time when I used to place friendly bets on football matches and also indulge in gambling on cricket. When I was in school, there was a unique way of gambling in cricket matches that we had devised. We used to split players… 2 people used to pick out 5 batsmen each (from amongst both teams) and the difference in the cumulative runs scored would be multiplied by a factor to arrive at the final payment. Sports betting involves a lot of speculation, prediction, foresight, etc and is good fun.

Horse races – I have been to the racecourse only twice in my life, but have enjoyed it. There is a fair bit of excitement in placing a bet on a horse and then egg it on. As I write this, the Melbourne Cup is scheduled to begin in half an hour, and I have placed a bet of $5 on a horse in a Sweep organized by a colleague in office. If it wins, I will get back $60!

And needless to say, the worst form of gambling is slot machines. I can never understand why people still play at slot machines. In my opinion, slot machines are either for kids who like video-games or they are for fools. There is no skill, judgment, prediction, speculation or competition involved, and what’s worst is that it gives you a minimalistic chance of winning. Some people may argue that there is a pattern which you need to crack, but surprisingly, no one has ever been able to do so. Even in the movie Casino, when Robert De Niro discovered that a particular slot machine had yielded more than one jackpot in a day, he had defiantly remarked “It is not possible” and had fired the manager.

Anyways, here is wishing all readers a HAPPY DIWALI and please pray that Makybe Diva (my horse) wins in the race and I also win lots in the jua party at night!

Update 1: My horse won yesterday (yesss!!!) so I made $60, but lost $18 of them in the card game at night. Am going to Star City (the famous casino of Sydney) tonight to blow off the rest of the 'hard-earned' money :)

Update 2: Star city was awesome too! I converted the $42 into $200!!! All on the roulette table, but seeing one crazy bugger winning thousands made me feel so small :) But I am happy... seems like my lucky gambling days have finally come!

Black Friday

2005-10-24T13:36:00.000+05:30

I am looking forward to watching 2 Hindi movies, the DVDs of which I have acquired recently. One is the movie called “Yahaan” based on issues in Kashmir, and the other is “Dansh” which is set in the backdrop of the north-eastern rebellion. The common underlying theme of both these movies is the fact that they deal with real issues which are contemporary in a sense. When it comes to Hindi movies, though I can watch any form of it and enjoy it too… be it a senseless comedy or a Hollywood-inspired thriller or a timepass ‘masala’ flick, there is nothing which gives me a bigger kick than off-beat ‘real’ cinema which brings to the fore factual events and their repercussions.

This is the reason why, when I aimlessly wondered ‘which was the best movie that I have seen this year’, only one name came to my mind - Black Friday. I guess many would not even have heard the name of this movie, since it has not yet seen the light of the day. Most people would not even know that this movie is a real-life peek into the plotting of the Mumbai Blasts in 1993 and the police investigations thereafter. It is the only movie which gives a blow-by-blow account of why and how the blasts took place and how the Mumbai police unearthed the entire plot.

All the movie does is portray the bare truth, in its most naked and pure form, not mincing any words, not adding any dramatization, not falling prey to any exaggeration, and not fearing any aftermath. It portrays every character with total honesty and candour, and does not even try to assign aliases to the actual names. So, in the movie Tiger Memon is called Tiger Memon and not “Panther” etc like most Hindi movies are prone to do. And Dawood Ibrahim is called Dawood Ibrahim and not some ‘Javedbhai’ or ‘Malikbhai’ like he would have been called in an average Hindi movie. This is just one of the many reasons which make Black Friday special. And, this precisely, is one of the main reasons for the film not having released yet, in spite of all its honesty and portrayal of truth.

This was supposed to be director Anurag Kashyap’s first movie. However, the talented director, who also wrote Satya and scripted Shool, has been labeled a ‘jinx’ since then, because his previous venture Paanch, also got stuck (with the censors for excessive violence) and subsequently Alvin Kaalicharan got stalled due to Anil Kapoor’s late withdrawal. I am already a huge fan of Kashyap, and hope that his bad days are numbered so that we get to see more of his films soon, including the under production ‘Gulal’

I had first heard about Black Friday when Indian Ocean came to our campus during our cul-fest ‘Unmaad’ and played the brilliant composition ‘Bandein’ from the movie’s soundtrack. The next thing I heard was that the release of the movie had been stayed by the High Court in response to an appeal by 36 under-trials of the case who had feared that the movie could prejudice the outcome of the case, which is underway in the TADA court. In around February, one of my best friends told me that he had seen this movie in a film festival in Pune, and praised it no ends. In Sydney, the movie is freely available at all Indian DVD stores, and it was in May that I had borrowed it from a colleague and watched it.

The movie is based on journalist S. Hussain Zaidi’s book, which accounts for the bomb-blast trials and investigations straight from the police record. The irony of the matter is the fact that the book has long been released uninterrupted and without any issue. However, when it came to the faster and far-reaching medium, the parties and the courts both reacted swiftly and did, what in my opinion, is a suppression of the constitutional right of freedom of speech. A movie narrated out of a book already in market, and which has facts straight out of the police records has no strong reason not to be released… and the reason given here is to supposedly protect the accused and charge-sheeted people who are responsible for causing a tragedy of massive proportions and who are supposed to be terrorists with established linkages to the ISI.

I realize that I belong to the lucky few who have had the privilege of watching this superb and passionate piece of cinema, and anyone who has seen it would agree that the film deserves to be shown to the larger audiences, and the government, instead of putting a restraint order on it should rather be making it tax-free so that the world can know about the plight that thousands of our countrymen were subject to in this incident, and the efficiency of the Mumbai police and the CBI in unearthing the plot. Some of the sequences in the movie are a revelation with respect to the working of the police and their hands-on approach and dedication.

The movie starts predictably in a police custody cell on 9^th March 1993, when a bashed up Gul Mohammed spills the beans about the conspiracy to bomb major locations in Mumbai. However, the police make a mockery of his statements only to find their feet in their mouths 3 days later when it turns out to be true. What follows is a minute by minute account of the blasts, the supposed rationale behind them (which was to save the face of Islam in India) and the entire modus operandi which was carried out with near precision with 12 blasts occurring serially. Then follows a detailed version of the police investigation and the breakthroughs made by them.

Kay Kay Menon is quite impressive as Rakesh Maria, the officer who was behind the whole operation, and Aditya Srivastava as Badshah Khan has done a good job as well. These 2 actors are steadily becoming the stalwarts of parallel cinema, like Om Puri and Naseeruddin Shah used to be in the old days. Anyways, here is hoping that Black Friday sees the end of the day, and that Anurag Kashyap gets what he deserves… which is, acclaim and applause from much more than just a handful of film-festival audiences.

Will sign off with the movie’s opening line, a quote by Mahatma Gandhi:
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”

Update : On a different note, a request to all readers to please visit this, and do whatever they can for the Earthquake Victims.

The SCG... and Eden Gardens

2005-10-19T06:42:00.000+05:30

Sunday, I made it to the Sydney Cricket Ground to watch Day 3 of the Super Test (which folded up yesterday, with the Aussies crushing an uncharacteristically abysmal World XI by over 200 runs). I tried to make the most of what was a chilly, dull, and dark day of cricket, and have to admit that despite the poor cricket and weather, it was an experience worth it. When me and another friend entered the stadium, we had remarked that it would be fun to watch a match here under lights. God heard us and ensured that the lights were on for the entire day! (the above picture was taken before the lights came on... you can see Ponting pushing the ball and calling Hayden for a quick single)

The only other ground where I have been to is the Eden Gardens in Calcutta, where I have watched a few matches, even the ones which were marred by crowd trouble (I was even thrown out of the stadium once, obviously, for no fault of mine!). Though in the last couple of years when I have been away from Calcutta, I have heard that the Eden has changed quite a bit, and for the better too.... But based on my prior experience, the 2 grounds have very little in common, apart from their greatness!

The areas where SCG scores over Eden would be the comfort with which you can enjoy a cricket match, and the lack of any hassle factor. While at the Eden you would have had to sit in cement benches covered with newspapers, with your elbows nudging your neighbour all the time, at the SCG you get a comfy cushion seat. There are no mile-long queues, no bullying security guards, no frequent checks at gates, no bad tempers flying around. There are multiple food shops and cafes (tho the only veggie stuff you can get is french fries, and being there for a day ensured that I had more than a week's quota of potatoes), and even bars which sell all drinks and everyone in the stands is practically drinking beer to glory (despite the chill)

The communication systems, are much better too, and there is constant commentary between overs, and the crowd is kept up to date with proceedings. The commentator also explains the new rules, etc, and gives frequent updates with regard to the light stoppages and the inspections. The screen is put to good use, and after every ball, you get to see a replay too (I have heard that there's a screen now at Eden too.. though I had thought that this is one thing which would never happen given the crowd volatility, which is the only 'grey' factor about the Eden). However, I was quite appalled at the lack of security at SCG. Only a 2-feet high billboard and a total of 16 guards manning the boundary lines separate the players from the crowd. Compare this with the 12-15 feet high fences and 5000-odd police guards in Calcutta, and you realize the difference in cricket in the 2 cities.

Having said that, and having listed out some of the minor advantages at the SCG, there is nothing which can compare to the atmosphere generated at the Eden Gardens. If sitting in a comfy chair, watching TV replays and listening to commentary was your idea of watching cricket at a stadium, you may be better off sitting on the couch watching the live telecast only. The idea of watching cricket from the stands is in being in the middle of the action, in being with people who love the game as much as you do and creating dhamaal alongwith them... cheering your team, shouting slogans, waving flags and posters, and knowing that YOU count, being in the stands!!

In all of this, the SCG falls far short of the Eden. Imagine around a hundred thousand people shouting "Green.. Green" in sync when a decision has been referred to the 3rd umpire... imagine the whole stadium erupting when a Sachin or a Dravid comes to the crease... imagine the crowd coordinating itself to form a mexican wave (there were feeble attempts at SCG, which failed), imagine the noise with every man shouting at the top of his voice cheering every run or every ball. People who have not watched cricket in India can only imagine this... because in all of this, Sydney fell short by the presence of 50000-odd people and the passion of a few million people!

Being at the SCG made me quite nostalgic about the Eden. I have quite a few fond memories associated with the Eden Gardens, the prime among them being India's win against the Aussies after following-on in 2001, where Laxman and Dravid played out the entire day without losing a wicket and where Bhajji took India's first and only hat-trick in Tests till now. One of the other few memories (vague) is the Hero Cup victory in the semi finals against South Africa where Sachin bowled the brilliant last over.

Back in the good old days, my entire shebang of friends would team up to visit the Eden... In a test match, we would be there on all 5 days... crying our throats hoarse, doing all sorts of crazy stuff like dress-codes, etc, engaging in a helluva lot of merry-making. As they say.... "(Sigh) Those were the days!"

Why Victory is Important

2005-10-15T02:10:00.000+05:30

Life teaches you to prepare for the worst case scenario, but in this ongoing saga, the worst case is very scary. This is why the worst case needs to be avoided, because it would put a gag on all of us and stifle the fundamental right to freedom of speech. If we do not win this battle, this is what we may be facing in the future:
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Ghai sues blogger for Rs. 300 Crores

May 17, 2006 : Last week, Durbhash Ghai had reportedly sued a blogger, Saurav Bansal, for Rs. 300 Crores, for allegedly releasing totally false articles about his movie Yaaden on his blog in 2001, with proven deliberate and fraudulent intentions to harm the image of the movie. Saurav, in one of his articles which reviewed Yaaden, called it ‘the worst Hindi movie ever’. Ghai has refuted this allegation as baseless contending that this baton would surely go to Gaizad Kustad’s Broom, and in any case he never believed in rankings.

Ghai’s lawyer, A Saxena from Saxena Suitings & Shittings, who specializes in blog-suits since 2005, has sent out the legal notice to the blogger which said that even though the damage caused could not be calculated, the filing would involve an immediate damage claim of Rs. 300 Crores. This is based on conservative assumptions that if the article had not been published, the movie would have run in cinemas all over for 5 years till now, it would have been watched at least twice by every movie-goer, would have sold multiple prints, and would have had a higher sale value for TV Channels.

This does not end here, Saxena has even approached the movie’s main sponsor Paas-Paas, of whom Saurav is the biggest customer, asking them to pressurize the blogger to take the article off the site, else they would put up the old posters all over the country reminding the whole world of their association with the movie. Paas-Paas obviously had no other option but to threaten the blogger that the supply of their product to him would be ceased.

It was reported that Saurav had made an announcement that he would stand by his review and would even give up his favourite food Paas Paas. However, when he was reminded of a similar incident last year, he turned his decision around and decided to give in to the movie maker’s demands. He took off the old article and agreed to the demand that he would write one ‘good’ post about Yaaden everyday on his blog for 100 days. On the third day, Saurav could take it no more and he committed suicide. May God bless him…
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Ganguly slams Shastri with Rs. 420 Crore suit.

October 14, 2008 : Saxena Suitings and Shittings, representing the erstwhile Indian cricket captain Gourav Ganguly, have slammed a defamation suit on ex-captain and commentator Rabbi Shastri, alleging him of causing unfathomable damage to the reputation of their client and causing mental trauma and anguish to Ganguly.

Shastri, during the course of one of the matches against Bermuda, in which Ganguly has scored a 24-ball duck, had remarked that Gourav’s batting form was ‘ridiculous and unacceptable’. Prior to this, in one of his newspaper articles, Shastri had given his opinion on Ganguly’s captaincy, stating that it was time for him to move on, and eventually he lost the captaincy about 3 years back. Ganguly’s first class career seems to have finished yesterday when the Bengal selectors refused to pick him for the match against Tripura.

Speaking on behalf of Ganguly, Saxena said that Shastri’s remarks were deliberate and fraudulent attempts at finishing the career of the ex-captain, and had widely influenced public opinion about Ganguly, which resulted in his demotivation and subsequent decline. He reiterated that Rs. 420 Crores was only an immediate claim and took into account Ganguly’s loss of match fees, endorsements and man of the match awards for the next 10 years, and also the opportunity cost of his future career as an aspiring actor, which has now been just limited to comic roles ever since Shastri called him ‘ridiculous’

Adding more fuel to the fire, Ganguly’s supporters (mostly students of his cricket academy) have threatened to set fire to all Audi 100s (a car which Shastri had won as the Champion of Champions in 1984) in front of Shastri’s residence. However, when they could not find a single Audi in Kolkata, they decided to use the hand-rickshaws which have been now banned in Kolkata. Also, when they realized that Shastri’s residence is in Mumbai, they decided to shift the venue to Ganguly’s residence instead. Eventually, Shastri had to cave in and issue a public apology and also make Ganguly the captain of the All-time Great XI picked by him.
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Blogging on a downtrend in India

October 21, 2008: Blogging in India is on a major downtrend, and the number of active bloggers has reduced by over 45% in the last 3 years. Legal issues and threats from various parties are major reasons behind this. “There is no use of blogging if we have to think several times before writing anything, seek legal advice before posting and also mention no names”, said one of the bloggers, obviously on the conditions of anonymity.

One of the major thorns in the bloggers’ flesh has been the cyber lawsuit specialists Saxena Suitings and Shittings, who have slapped around 540 bloggers with legal notices seeking claims of hundreds of crores, all of which have been accompanied by cheap pressure tactics on the blogger. Mr. Saxena has a huge clientele, and he owes his success to his mentor Mr. Chowdhury. Mr. Saxena is an educated lawyer with BA, MA, LLB, LLM and PhD from the International Institute of Planning and Management, which has gone global now, and is in the news for its huge posters all over the world urging people to ‘Dare and think beyond Harvard, Stanford and Yale!’
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I sincerely hope that none of this actually happens (not even ganguly not coming back into form). This is precisely why this small battle needs to be won. May God bless Gaurav, Rashmi, Varna and others with courage (which they don’t need anyway) and luck (which they may need)

Disclaimer : All characters are obviously fictional!

The Lord of the Wrongs

2005-10-11T21:31:00.000+05:30

Situation: It is the land of Mordor. Sauron, the Great, who barely survived the fellowship, is once again preparing his army of Orcs to take over the world of men. This time he decides to go under a disguise and employ guerilla (or gorilla) means to launch his attack on the foundations of the human race - their education system. He needs a captain for his troops, a manager who can lead his army to spread evil and vile all over the world which has seen too much of good. He lands in the job market to find the most equipped and talented ‘manager’. Inspired by the practices of management, Sauron decides to take a case-based interview to choose his able general.

The 2 main contenders are - Gandalf, and The Guru, short for ‘The Management Guru’. Here is how the process goes…

Sauron: Here is the 1^st question: You are the head of the marketing department at a private management institute. You need to find a positioning for your institute. What would you do?

Gandalf: Well, I would ensure that the quality of the education offered is upto speed with what everyone else is offering, and then I would add more value to it and keep the price below or at par with competition, and position it as ‘value-based’ education, comparable to the best in the world.

The Guru: Value-based, my foot!!! It is very simple… we need to hit the weak nerve of these men. There are about dozen excellent institutes in the country and a dozen more good institutes, and only a handful of the hundreds of thousands of people who aspire for them manage to get in. We should target the people who do not get into the excellent institutes and are thinking of which good institute to go into. We should fool them, baffle them with jazzy ads and portray ourselves as even better than even the excellent institutes, but only for those people who have ‘dum’…. for those who dare to think beyond the excellent institutes!!! And of course, since it is a premium offering, we will charge more than anyone else!

Gandalf: But that is a blatant lie… Will people not see through this?? They will not fall for it.

The Guru: Ah you bet they will. After all, we need just a handful of them, and there are over a hundred thousand to fool. Even by the most conservative estimates, we will get them!

Sauron: Hmm… Question 2: How will you publicize this institute?

Gandalf: With all due respects, Lord Sauron, I don’t think advertising for education is a good idea. It is said that when something like education is advertised, it would seem desperate and people will smell something fishy.

The Guru (Scornfully): What do you know?? Since the product that I am planning to offer is far below quality, I would need to make up for it through advertising. We should spend the most on advertising and nothing on faculty, amenities, books, etc. We should portray ourselves as better than the best, and say that we have the best amenities (including a swimming pool) and that we give personal laptops which are a must in our wi-fi networked campus, and say that we have the world’s best faculty. We would get some school drop-outs from Nepal and Bangladesh and call them ‘international’ faculty. I will get a coloured-printout of a graphically designed fancy degree for myself and proclaim myself to be “THE GURU”… (adds grinning) though I have not even graduated at first attempt!!!!

Gandalf (Shocked): But this is a whole lot of lies… what if and when people find out?? What about legal repercussions?

The Guru : What do you think about me, eh? Don’t you think I would have already thought of the legal issues? My office will have a bathtub and a jacuzzi for my personal use, which we will show as our swimming pool. We will give people laptops, but we will double their fees and also earn there, because I have negotiated with Damru from chorbazar who will supply us with the laptops without any hard-disk, memory or applications (we never promised those!). Also, we will apply for a wi-fi and we will say that it will be there soon.

Sauron : That seems like some plan. What else can we do The Great Guru to ensure that the plan is infallible?

The Guru : With your blessings Lord Sauron, we will also create a hep and trendy image of our institute. I will also make a movie (after all, I used to make all those obscene skits in school) and this would add to the dimensions of The Guru and add more hype to our institute.

Sauron : But how do you propose that we protect these secret lies? What if some student turns to be an insider?

The Guru : Ha… that, my lord, is impossible. Because when the men would come to know about the truth, they will feel like fools, and would be too embarrassed and ashamed to go out to the world and publicize their stupidity. We will brainwash them and turn them into Orcs so that we can use them against the enemy

Sauron: I am impressed, The Guru… you are recruited as the captain of the orcs. But what will you do if Aragorn and his army of blog-men raise a battle-cry against us?

The Guru : By the time they come to know about this, we will have trained our army of orcs, who we will unleash on the blogospehere. They will attack the most dangerous and most respected of the blog-men with their abuses and dirty mud-slinging. In any case, the blog-men are too divided and spread out to be able to take a united stance. We will further disintegrate them… we will single out some of the most influential of the blog-men and launch a massive attack on them. (Evil smile) We will make their life hell… ha ha ha….

Gandalf (still shocked) : Lord Sauron… I pray before thee… Do not let this happen. This only has short term benefits.

The Guru : Even the most revered economist JM Keynes has said… “In the long run, we are all dead”… so why worry about the long-run.

Sauron : Gandalf, you have disappointed me… the need of the hour is for us to unite and be-fall this education system of men. But you are a traitor… (raising his staff)… you shall not live!!!

Gandalf (gasping): Sauron… mark my words… the blog-world will rise to the occasion and destroy your ill-wills …

The End!!

Disclaimer : Any resemblance to any character, living or dead, is purely intentional!

Ok agreed... this is quite dramatized and exaggerated and totally fictional... even quite mean at times... to some people, this may appear to be high-handed and elitist. After typing this out, when I read this post to myself, it seemed to be full of vented anguish against the students, faculty and management of a particular institute... however, that was not my intention (though I may have gone overboard) So, apologies if it rubs someone the wrong way... but I do feel strongly about whatever has been happening right now and the way the matter is being dealt with, and I hope that the message goes across in that spirit.

In case you are wondering what all this is about, it means that you are not a regular in blogdom!! Please go here and here to catch the hottest story in the blogosphere, and also visit Desipundit which is trying to unite the voices of hundreds of bloggers.

Happy Birthday to the God!!

2005-10-11T14:19:00.000+05:30

Today, the biggest superstar of Indian cinema, Amitabh Bachchan turns 63. I have been a HUGE fan of Mr. Bachchan ever since I was a kid, and have watched some of his movies like Sholay, Deewar, Trishul, Anand, etc scores of times. The Big B has been featured on my blog prior to this as well, and my guess is that he would continue to be. And I guess I do not need words to describe why the man is so great and why he is the most superior actor of all times. I know that this claim of mine will be contested from several quarters, some of whom back Dilip Kumar as the best actor of all times, some are fans of Kamal Hasan, some think no one comes close to Rajnikant, some hail Aamir as the best, while some think Shahrukh is the king of all times (can you believe it!)

However, in my humble opinion, there is no one who comes close to the great man when it comes to acting, evolving as an actor, and challenging oneself as an actor. His persona and screen presence cannot be matched by anyone else, and his eloquence and humility is something to swear by. He is only guy who has managed to capture the imagination of a whole nation for such a long period of time, and hopefully, he will continue to do so!!

PS : Have just come to know that Amitabh has cancelled his birthday bash in view of the earthquake and the devastation caused by it.
PPS : To my testimony, if you go to Google and type "Amitabh Superfan since childhood" and hit the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button, it would bring you straight to this space!!

The Conquest of the World

2005-10-09T05:50:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was one of the rare days (rather, the only day) when I returned home early from work, at around 6:20 PM... and the reason - I was all enthu to watch the Super Series match between the Aussies and the World XI. This was the match that I nearly flew down to Melbourne to watch. Everything was set, but at the last moment, the package deal fell through and other colleagues who were supposed to go with me backed out, since the proposition was too costly.

Looking back, I don't really regret the whole plan having fallen through. The only regret is that I could have seen Melbourne, but since it was raining there too, it isn't so much of a disappointment. What was disappointing though, was the way the series has gone so far. The much accliamed best of the world has looked to be no match for the Aussies in any way. Its been said that the recent Ashes defeat has been a dampener for the Super Series, because it has now dented the prior formidability of the Aussies and has defeated the whole purpose of the series...

The puspose was for the best men in the world to come together and use their skills, experience and pride to overhaul the almost invincible mighties who have dominated world cricket in the recent past. However, the loss to England in the Ashes and the inconceivable loss to Bangladesh in a one dayer has ensured that the indomitables were converted to a team fighting back to regain their lost pride and honour, and this spirit could never be matched by 14 talented individuals having not much but records to play for.

Also, the two losses prove beyond a doubt that cricket is a team sport and is not a game where individual brilliance can supercede teamwork. It requires the team members to know each other inside out, to know each one's strengths and weaknesses, to know who is fit to play which part... they need a strong motivating factor (like playing for lost pride, or playing for your nation), and least of all, you need camaraderie and team spirit... and most of this is absent in the World Team.

Anyways, I guess I haven't missed much, and in any case, I will be going to watch the Super Test in Sydney for one of the days, unless something more important comes along. Lets hope at least that would be a treat...

The Race to Fitness (A Hurdles Race)

2005-10-02T09:16:00.000+05:30

Last Saturday, after a lot of procrastination, I finally took the step I had been contemplating for a long time. Yes, I stepped into the gym. What is a norm for most people is a landmark event for me, because I have never ever been a gym or a fitness enthusiast. Even till today, the total number of times that I have been to the gym has not reached double figures! And, till last June, I had never ever stepped into a gym ever!

In my adolescence and early adulthood, while I was in Calcutta, I had never seen the face of a gymnasium. It was partly to do with the fact that, being my skinny self, I had no reason to go to the gym! Also, if it comes to a sport (say cricket) I could bring myself to wake up at 5:00 AM, but not for pumping iron and lifting weights for no good reason.

Going to the Gym - Round I
It was in June 2004, when I first stepped into a gym. There is a story behind that 'first step' as well. I had spent April and May in Mumbai undergoing my summers and most of the free time was spent getting together with batch-mates over beer. Tito's Garage, The Sports Bar, Hawaiian Shack, Starters and More, etc etc... we covered all these places. The final nail in the coffin was driven when one of my fellow-interns (from another campus) brought back 7 crates of left-over beer from their alumni meet to our company acco. From then, beer was an able substitute for water, and the end result was a beer belly which had started to bulge out in an ugly fashion!

So, when I got back to campus, I joined in my enthusiastic block-mates who had resolved to get into shape too. I started with jogging and some weights, and this developed into a routine, which was tiring, but gave this feel-good feeling. However, the routine lasted precisely for a week, after which most us gave up, me included!

Going to the Gym - Round II
The reason behind the launch of Round II is not because I have suddenly turned into a fitness enthusiast. Also, its not that I have grown excessively fat and desperately want to lose weight. It's also not because I think I am physically unfit (which I know I am, but that’s not enough motivation). The motivating factor was a statement made by one of my friends here after we had just finished a heavy delicious meal at his place, and I had said how I was so full that my buckle was hurting me. And he had said "Maybe you will soon need new clothes". That was it... my jaw dropped and I started sweating... I don’t mind putting on a little weight, but if it meant going to the malls and shopping... no way! Let’s go to the gym baby!

The first day in the gym was quite an experience too. There is a fitness centre in the apartment that I have been living in for the last 6 months, equipped with a swimming pool, spa and sauna, but I had never been to it before. So, last Saturday, I stepped into the gym in my track pants and sports shoes. Not very sure of what to do and how to use the equipment at my disposal, I wondered where to start. I had been told that the treadmill is the best bet to lose extra fat... I see a female jogging away on one of them, her i-Pod glued to her ears... hmmm... too complicated to start off with... so I turned to one of the empty cycles, and perched myself on it, and started pedaling furiously, when the Chinese (or Japanese or Korean... ok.. Oriental) lady on the other bicycle remarked...
"You may want to set the weight and load."
I smiled sheepishly and said, "Yes of course, how silly of me"
Somehow struggled with the system but managed to set the weight and load... started cycling again...
"Don't you want to reset the height of the seat? There was a kid here before you"
"Oh yeah... I was wondering why I was feeling so low today... he he”... tried to shoo away the embarrassment through humour, but your sense of humour also ditches you when you need it the most.

The rest of the cycle journey went on safely, till I had cycled about 7 kms at various speeds for some 20-25 minutes, and had got both tired and bored. So I turned to the treadmills, where the i-Pod female was still going strong. I climbed on to the other treadmill, and pushed the start button, and it suddenly sprung into action at a steady speed jerking me off it. Apparently, someone had just paused it, and I had resumed the program. Embarrassed, I looked around at the smiling and trying-not-to-laugh faces and smiled back... It was then that a guy came around and offered to help me set the treadmill program... God bless him!

I could survive on the treadmill for no longer than 15 minutes, and 2.5 kms, mostly running and some walking... It was indeed quite tough. Having had enough for the day, I just capped it off with light weights training... here and there, and the next day, I upped the ante bit too. Those two days, I felt so good about myself and resolved to make it to the gym everyday and get back to prime fitness.

However, other commitments, more important tasks, and pressing issues came formidably in the way of my path to supreme fitness and managed to break my resolve. So much, that for the whole of the week, I could not stay true to my promise... Here is how it went:

Monday - I get free from office at 8:30 PM and decide to head for the gym after changing. My colleagues make up this plan of going to a desi restaurant to have good food. I am compelled to follow them after a brief evaluation of my priorities!
Tuesday - I get free at 8:00 PM and come home and change into pajamas and t-shirt for the gym. Just then, I receive a call from a friend telling me that he had bought tickets for the 8:30 PM show of "The Dukes of Hazzard" (which by the way is a lousy comedy).
Wednesday - I get free from office at 10:00 PM, have a subway for dinner and announce that I am going to the gym, when I am reminded that there should be a gap of at least an hour after dinner, and the gym closes at 11:00 PM
Thursday - I get free at 10:00 PM and decide to go to the gym before dinner. I come home and seat myself on the couch for a couple of minutes, and the next thing I know is that I wake up with a start at around 4:00 AM!
Friday - Am about to get free at 7:00 and am happy that today I will finally make it, but some work comes up and I have to stay back a couple of hours. By then I have already received half a dozen calls from a colleague who is cooking dinner for us asking me to speed up.
Saturday - As I write this, I have just returned from a short wine-tasting tour of the Hunter Valley, and have driven some 100 kms (2 others drove roughly the same distance), but am still enthu to make it, just to prove a point to myself and my friends who have made a joke of it:)

Anyways, it’s a long weekend in Australia with Monday a holiday too, and I hope to make the most of it!

Indian Cricket : The Sorry State

2005-09-28T02:36:00.000+05:30

Can't help but write a bit about what is going on in Indian cricket right now :( The current state of affairs has compelled me to break my resolve of not posting anything directly about cricket. But unlike most others, it is not the Chappell-Ganguly spat that disturbs me more, but its the state of affairs with our governing body that leaves me without words.

I don't think any sports body in the world would have witnessed so much of politicking and scheming as the Board of Control for Cricket in India. Clearly, cricket administration in India is the least about cricket, and more about money, power and ego. Last year, while on campus, me and a few other useless free-loaders who had somehow got stuck together in a group for a subject called Political Economy, had chosen "Politics in Indian Cricket" as our topic and had focussed on the BCCI elections last year, since we considered it to be the nadir of sporting administration disintegration. However, its sad to note that we have plunged further down in the year that has passed.

Where else in the world would you find the biggest names in the country's political system jumping into the arena? Where else would you see battles in High Courts and Supreme Courts before an AGM? Where else would you see dirty squabbles and mud-slinging amongst the different associations? Where else would you see not one, not two, but three court appointed observers over a sporting body election? And where else would you see money swelling the coffers but still no development at all?

Yes, I think in the last year, the BCCI has done absolutely nothing to develop cricket in India. So much, that they have not even created their own website. Today, India is the only test playing nation whose cricket board does not have a web-site. And why? Because the people who administer and run the game, are busy devising strategies for saving their skins for the next elections, as soon as they have won one election, and have no time for petty issues like cricket!

The coach of the national team sends a confidential email to the BCCI president, and 4 other top officials of the board, and the mail gets leaked to the media. Not just the news of the mail, but its entire content, word for word. And it is amazing how no one in BCCI is noticeably doing anything to find out how a closed confidential mail privy to 6 people was leaked out. And although maybe Ganguly probably deserved the flak he is getting from the media, it is sad to see the Dungarpurs and Bindras drag him into the political dirt by claiming him to be Dalmiya's man.

Later today, the BCCI Review committee would be taking up the captain-coach controversy and hearing both sides of the story. However, I would be very surprised (pleasantly, though) to see a strong outcome from the meeting. My bet is that the committee would work out a compromise between the 2 people involved, and force them into another pool game for the cameras. Needless to say that the compromise would be one forced down both throats and that the atmosphere in the dressing room would never be the same for the team.

Maybe, compromise is the best solution... but what I am waiting to see is if the board penalizes Ganguly for letting dressing room discussions go public, and whether it probes and brings to task the source of the email leak.

The Phantom Returns

2005-09-17T08:24:00.000+05:30

The phantom has come back to haunt us. After a lull of about 5 years, which almost convinced us of its death, it is back. I am talking about the ghost of match fixing which haunted world cricket in the late 90's and 2000 and marred its reputation beyond repair. Heroes were fallen, careers were killed, reputations were capsized, but more importantly, faith was lost; the faith that an average cricket lover had in the game and in the players. He had been taken for a ride and had been betrayed... it was a wound that needed time to heal... 5 years passed and just when he was about to fully recuperate and bury the past incidents as a bad nightmare... the ghost turns up again...

This is in reference to the news reports that the ICC's anti-corruption unit is investigating the recent tri-series in Zimbabwe, and suspects a strong possibility of match fixing. Though the ICC has denied anything as such, the presence of its officers Hawkins and Peacock in India do suggest otherwise. Rumours are that 2 Indian fast bowlers and a shwashbuckling batsman are under surveillance.... and the sick feeling of de-ja-vu returns.

The earliest (reported) incident of betting/match-fixing dates back to 1981 when Dennis Lillee and Rodney Marsh bet on a match against their own teams. Between 1981 and 2000, betting which was then a harmless pastime, had evloved into a black syndicated industry. Millions and millions were bet, won and lost on each match, and the bookies, who used to be the facilitators in an exciting side game, turned into people who controlled fortunes. With money came power, and with money and power came influence, and with money, power and influence came audacity... the audacity to attempt the sinister.

The credit for blowing open the lid of this huge can or worms should go to the Delhi Police under commissioner Ajay Raj Sharma... it was post the India-SA series in 2000 and the Hansie Cronje saga that the presence of match fixing was acknowledged by the authorities and everyone else... till then it just used to be like smoke without visible traces of the fire from which it was emanating. Several enquiries were set up, several commissions were created, investigations undertaken... but none could yield any conclusive evidence, before Delhi Police stepped into action.

The cricketing world was taken aback at the revelations which followed. It was by far the biggest controversy in cricket, easily overtaking the bodyline controversy of the 30s. India was obviously the worst affected, because this is where the syndicate was, this is where the money was, and this is where the major chunk of the fan following was. The board, who had very recently given a clean chit to all the players as per the report of the Chandrachud Commission, was caught red-faced, and had to handover the case to the CBI, which made tremendous headway by nabbing the big names in the punter world, like MK Gupta, Rattan Mehta, Rajesh Kalra, Uttam Chand, Kishan Kumar (the small time actor) etc etc, who in due course blew the whistle on the insiders.

Soon heads were rolling all over, as the fall guys were identified and made to fall... In India, Azhar and Ajay Sharma got life bans, while Ajay Jadeja and Manoj Prabhakar were banned for 5 years. Hansie Cronje was banned for life and Herschelle Gibbs, Nicky Boje and Pieter Strydom for a year. Salim Malik and Ata-ur-Rehman got a life ban too... and not enough evidence could be gathered against the bigger names. Mark Waugh and Shane Warne were in any case undergoing a one-year ban for disclosing info to a bookie.

While the board fought with the corruption, the fans were distraught when confronted by the harsh fact that the heroes they worshipped were actually conspiring against them. I was quite shocked myself. I had been a huge fan of Ajay Jadeja and had even met him and taken a picture alongside him in 1996. Being from Calcutta, which was Azhar's happy hunting ground, I had a likeness for the classy batsman too. And for me, Hansie Cronje was the best captain I had seen. And who could imagine the affable Dr. Ali Irani to be the conduit between the cricketers and the bookies. Though the whole episode came as a bombshell, I didnt lose my fondness for the game. But I know several people who did! Some came around with time, getting back to the old ways, while others still content themselves with football and tennis and refuse to follow cricket.

Now that the ghost has returned, its time for introspection... Did the cricket world not create sufficient detterance to ensure that such incidents never happen again? Was the action taken against the fall guys not harsh enough to set an example? Was the setting up of an anti-corruption unit not sufficient surveillance?

I would say that the BCCI and the ICC did take a few right steps, and we should commend them for that. These steps are as follows:
1. Setting up of an independant autonomous ACU
2. Banning of cricket in suspect venues like Sharjah (which still has the distinction of hosting the most number of ODIs, as well as Asif Iqbal's hunting ground in punter world)
3. Appropriate action wherever evidence was found (except in the case of Warne, Waugh, Gibbs, Boje, etc)
4. BCCI introducing contract systems for players ensuring that they get enough money in fees to not be tempted. (though it was quite delayed)

But, do some gaps still remain to be plugged? If its not enough to stop cricketers from getting into the grey zone again, then the answer is probably yes. These gaps could be as:

1. Not enough money at the domestic level to stop the Ajay Sharmas from emerging, even as the BCCI coffers continue to swell. In the movie Iqbal too, there were references to such a point, where the poor son of a farmer is shown to be tempted to accept a bribe of 25 Lakhs, but in the end refuses only because he could get an alternate source of income through signing a contract with a media agency. But in reality, domestic cricketers hardly get any endorsements. Its a sad state of affairs considering that ours is a country crazy about the game.. still no one wants to see the domestic matches. The board should market the domestic league better and ensure that the international 'stars' also play in it. It should be modeled on the lines of the county championship... and with the finances at its disposal, it is easily possible.

2. Absence of any legal implications - Betting is a crime, but not match fixing, and there is no provision under which the defaulting cricketers can be tried in court. The only provision which comes close is the Clause 420 for cheating... but again it is quite difficult to establish the 'cheating' since it is at an emotional level.

There are suggestions to corporatize the board to ensure accountability and transparency, and legalization of betting in India. Both have its merits and are ideas worth pursuing. But today, the bigger question is whether the phantom that has emerged is for here to stay, or will it pass away like a bad dream. Or will we again enter the era when every failed innings will raise eyebrows, every spell of poor bowling will arouse suspicion and every dropped catch will give rise to accusations?

Surviving Mumbai locals

2005-09-13T21:52:00.000+05:30

Recently, when I was in Mumbai, one of the local dailies ran a front page story on the results of the customer survey done by Western and Central Railways. The survey had focussed on seeking suggestions from passengers to improve the service. Top of the chart suggestions were as follows :
1. Air-conditioned compartments
2. Dust-bins under the seats
3. Alarm in ladies compartment

It is indeed true that for Mumbaikars, the train journey is a routine, it is 'business as usual', and that is why their suggestions are to improve hygiene and facilities in the trains, rather than what anyone new to Mumbai would pray for : More space, more air... which means more trains. If I had been a part of the survey, I would have asked for the following:
1. Frequency of trains be increased from 3 mins to 1 min (peak hrs)
2. More tracks be installed to facilitate more trains
3. Regulations be enforced to prevent back-tracking (for the uninitiated, it means a practice wherein if a person has to go from Station # 3 to Station # 10, he would board the train in the opposite direction and go from Stn # 3 to Stn #1 so that he can comfortably find a seating place in the train which would go back from 1 to 10)

Its true that the Mumbai locals present one of the most efficient modes of transportation by carrying millions of people over a long distance in the shortest time, but its also true that with thousands of people coming to Mumbai to settle on a daily basis, the said efficiency falls way short of requirement. But still, kudos to the Mumbaikars, who have surprisingly easily acclimatised to a way of life which is full of discomfort, heat, sweat, body odour, curses, abuses, pushes and shoves, etc etc - the local trains.

While the less accustomed-to would be praying for mercy and would be trying to recall the sins he must have committed to have been subjected to the ordeal of a peak-hour journey, and would be sweating to death in the stuffed compartment which accommodates at least 5 times more people than it should, the regular Mumbaikar would either be coolly listening to his FM Radio, or reading a book/newspaper, or solving crosswords, or chatting away to glory with his train-friend-circle, or even playing cards!!

I still (unfondly) remember my first peak hour train journey. It was April 2004, and I had landed in the 'city of dreams' for my summer internship (incidentally, by then, my family had also moved to Mumbai). So, amidst a vast turbulent sea of human beings, me and 3 fellow interns had set foot on Andheri station, armed with 1st class passes, polished shoes, crisply pressed shirts, cool deo-scents and an air of confidence. What was to follow shattered everything, including the confidence!

Having heard the stories from people, we had braced ourselves for the battle for embarkment and got ourselves a head-start by standing right in front, confident that inspite of being newcomers, we shall overcome. However, when the train arrived, we were suddenly overtaken by the huge mob who started boarding the train even as it was moving, by getting a grip on the doors, windows, roof or anything they could lay their hands on. Just as we were trying to gather our senses, the train slowed down, blowing out a deluge of passengers in all forms, some running, some falling, some finding their feet... and we were swept away by this torrent. By the time we recovered, the compartment was full with people even hanging out with just their big toe inside the train.

Aamir Khan had once said "ladki, bus aur train ke peechhe nahi bhaagne ka... ek jayegi, doosri aayegi.." (do not run after girls, buses and trains... one will go, another will follow). We could relate well to the sentiment then, and decided to hang around till we got the right train... 4 trains passed and the clock ticked away and the crowd kept on swelling, but we were still standing there. Eventually, we decided to go for the kill... 2 of us could manage to push and kick our way into the next train, while the other 2 were left behind to try their luck with the subsequent ones.

Getting on board proved to be just a momentary relief, as the scene inside was even worse. We were standing, sandwiched between people on all sides, without even room to move a finger... Someone was standing on my toes, and someone else's elbow rested on my shoulder, and another one's breath was distincly hitting my neck. This was the first class... where the tickets were 5 times the price of normal tickets. I naturally wondered that if this was the scene in 1st Class, how would the 2nd Class be... I found out eventually, that 1st class and 2nd class were equally worse, with the minor difference that the 2nd class smells of body odour, while the 1st class smells of deodorants!

When we finally disembarked at Churchgate, the clothes were crumpled, the shoes were stubbed, the body dripping with sweat, and the mood devoid of any energy whatsoever. If this was the way the day began, it was worth imagining what would be in store for the rest of the day. On the way back, it was as if the morning journey had given us loads of valuable experience. We managed to hop onto a return Virar-bound train, and having got a decent place to stand, gave ourselves a pat on the back! (you seldom get a place to sit, because of the people who backtrack) .

The return journey was quite uneventful, till the destination station (Andheri) approached. When we got up to disembark, the crowd at the gates refused to budge and make way. When we politely asked them to let us go, we were impolitely told that if we wanted to get down at Andheri, we should take an Andheri or Borivali train and not a Virar train. These people were actually serious, and quite furious too... it was as if we had trespassed on their property. An elderly gentleman near the gate rudely asked us that didn't we know that Andheri passengers should not get on Virar trains? Sheepishly, I told him it was our first day in Mumbai, and pleaded ignorance, and he finally yielded and asked the young crowd to give way, announcing the rule "Never get on Virar trains if you are going to Andheri"

When I narrated this incident to my brother later, pointing out the rude, intolerant and anarchic behavior of the passengers, he replied, "Are you crazy? Didnt I tell you that you never get onto a Virar train if you are going to Andheri... it is an unwritten rule!" This experience, and many more in those 2 months helped me form my own survival guide for Mumbai train journeys.. the basic rules are as follows:

# Get the basics right. Know which train goes from what platform at what time, & whether its fast or slow, 9-coaches or 12-coaches, etc
# Keep glasses in pocket, do not bother to polish shoes and do not wear expensive watches
# Behave like a veteran, even if you are a newcomer. Walk the walk, talk the talk... show that you mean business
# Do not waste time deciding which gate to enter from (they are all the same) and force yourself in. Remember that the force = momentum + vocal pressure... so keep shouting at the people ahead
# As soon as you get in, find a comfortable standing position as near to the seats and fans as possible and be on the lookout for opportunities to swoop onto a seat.
# Try catching up on sleep, whether sitting or standing...You need the power nap :)
# While getting down, remember to go with the flow... do not let the embarking passengers get a headway or chances are that you will have to get down at the next station
# And of course, never get onto a Virar train if you want to get down at Andheri :)

Back to the Grind

2005-09-11T10:33:00.000+05:30

Well, after a break of a couple of weeks, am back to the routine life again. The visit to India was awesome, to put it mildly. And the blast that we had at the team building event was too hot to handle. Looking back, I dont know how I could have handled so much physical exertion. We did it all... from cycling in the desert to hunt for a treasure in 45 degrees temperature, to throwing people in the swimming pool to sumo-wrestling with bean bags to dancing to the latest desi numbers till wee hours of the morning. Team building events are great, I say...

The trips back home are like one of those fancy rides in an amusement park.. whirlwind, great fun, and they leave you without breath, and make you yearn to have another go. Managed to catch a couple of movies too... saw No Entry and Iqbal. Iqbal was quite good... a typical Nagesh Kukunoor movie, and No Entry was a slapstic comedy enjoyable for people who enjoy that kind of humour (me inclusive). Looking back, I must have slept about 3 hours daily on an average through the entire 10 day trip. No wonder, am feeling more jet-lagged than usual.

This journey has made me a fan of two corporations : Singapore Airlines and Kingfisher Airlines. I have always been a Kingfisher (Strong) fan, but the airline experience was quite good. I had thought of it as another of those low-cost airlines, but as it turned out, it was a luxurious flight. For the first time in India, there is an entertainment system on domestic flights for all passengers with individual TV screens, and the courteousness and elegance of the airhostesses was beyond what domestic passengers have been trained to expect. As far as Singapore Airlines is concerned, their level of service and on-flight comfort just won me over.

Anyways, back down under, in a matter of 2 weeks, there has been a great change in the climatic conditions here... the winter has disappeared and the sun is out again and the incisive chilly wind has been replaced with a cool pleasant breeze. This is the kind of weather I hate... yeah... and you would hate it too if you had to be working on a Saturday on such an awesome great day :(

10 occasions when you miss India

2005-08-26T06:18:00.000+05:30

It often gets a little painful to be statying outside India, and so often you just wish you were back there in your country. There are some common instances when you miss being in India the most. They would be as follows:

On national holidays - Independence/Republic days, festivals, etc.. as much for missing on the festivities, as out of jealousy that your peers in India get 28 holidays while there are only 5 days marked red on your calendar
When India is playing someone in cricket, and Fox Sports or Channel Nine doesnt consider it worthy of a telecast, and you have to content yourself by watching the ball-by-ball score change on the net
When you have had a Subway for 5 consecutive days for dinner and are yearning for something spicy, yet something vegeterian, strangely a combo that doesnt exist in these parts of the world
When on every weekend you have to do your laundary, and miss the nukkad ka dhobi who would press your clothes for a buck-and-a-half apiece
When you yearn for a chai and samosa, or poori-sabzi which you used to get so easily at any "Sharma's", but here the only way you can have it is by cooking it yourself
When you switch on the television and find no good desi music which was always there on MTV, Channel V, Zee Music, etc etc, and the only alternative is to listen to rock and hiphop
When you can get everything from Jack Daniels to Absolut in the bars and wine-shops here, but no Old Monk or Romanov that you have so gotten used to over the years
When you want to wish a dear one on his/her birthday and have to set an alarm for 4:30 am
When your eyes are tired of 'looking up' the blondes and caucasian babes (who, btw, are gorgeous too), and are parched for some good ol' Indian beauty, which you can admire...
When no one can ever, EVER understand, spell or pronounce your name correctly unless given a special certified training session on "How to speak what you read and spell what you hear"

Jokes apart, it often happens that you yearn to be in India, with family, with friends, being there and not missing anything... those living abroad would easily be able to relate... but then, those back in the country would think, why live abroad when you miss the country so much. The answer is not what a lot of people expect it to be ... it is not money, it is not quality of life, it is not standard of living, it is not climate.... for me, it is just transition... plain simple transition... one of the many phases in life...

And I pity those people, who live abroad, and then try to justify it with lame reasons like the ones I rejected above... its a plain simple case of applying hindsight to the situation and convincing oneself that a decision taken was a good decision.

Anyways, am lucky that my job allows me to be back to India quite often. I say this as I embark on a 10-day journey to motherland... am going for an annual team-building event, which I am told, is an absolute bhasad... i am told that the event is like nothing I would have ever seen.... and it is the most amazing party that I could have been to. I have been advised to start 'warming up' on the flight itself and drink through the 12-hour journey... am waiting eagerly to see what this event is all about :)

Will be back soon... and with better regularity :)

Monday Blues

2005-08-23T11:38:00.000+05:30

Turkish Grand Prix from 10:30 PM to 1:00 AM
+ Arsenal vs Chelsea from 1:00 AM to 3:00 AM
+ Meeting in office at 8:00 AM
______________________________________
= Monday Blues

Mixed feelings today as Kimi won the race but Arsenal lost to a moment of sheer luck to Chelsea

Pro-antagonistism

2005-08-21T01:39:00.000+05:30

If you find the title perplexing, and if you are wondering what it means... let me clarify.. its not one of the words I use in my daily conversation to flaunt my non-existent vocab. Its just a word I have come up with to describe a state of mind.. dont know if such a word even exists (probably it doesn't)

Anyway, I am using the term to describe the way I often feel about certain villains in movies. I have often found myself relating to antagonistic characters very well, and often rooting for them in a movie, instead of the run-of-the-mill hero. However, it is not the Mogambo or Shakaal that I find interesting, but its a more real-life character with gray shades that I can relate to.

For me, the character that I can relate to the most is Jack Nicholson as Colonel Jessop in A Few Good Men. In spite of him being a villain and being responsible for killing a soldier of his own troop, I find his character to be overwhelming, and for me, he is the protagonist rather than Tom Cruise. He is someone who goes about doing his job with clinical professionalism, and he is the one who knows how to do the job, even if it means an innocent soldier gets killed, yet he is the one protecting the millions of people from enemies in his own way (which probably is the best though not the most humane way)

Similarly, I can relate well to other 'gray' characters be it Michael Corleone in The Godfather, Jimmy Conway in GoodFellas, Malik in Company, Ballu in Khalnayak, Bhikhu Mahtrey in Satya, Chhainu (Shatughan Sinha) in Mere Apne... even though these are people who wouldnt shudder before taking someone's life and who are ruthless in their own way.

Somehow thats the way I have felt about 'real-life' villains, who are just characters with gray shades and who have obvious weaknesses and flaws, probably because they are more realistic and believeable than the heroes who play the good guy next door.

Happy Independence Day

2005-08-16T10:38:00.000+05:30

To all my fellow Indians : Happy Indpendence Day!
Our Bharat Maata has stepped into its 58th year of freedom, and I plan to celebrate it in my own small way. I started the day by putting a small tricolour on my desk, and now after getting 'freedom' from the day's work, plan to watch Swades, which alongwith Lagaan is one of the best patriotic movies of our times. I have bought DVDs of Swades and Lagaan especially for this occasion.

My friend Gattu tells me that Star Gold is going to show Swades today. Those in India, please do not miss out on it. if you didn't like it the first time, then please watch it again, and again, and the concept of the movie will grow on you. In spite of being set in contemporary times and without any passionate background of period movies, it invokes your patriotism in a magical way... and for once, maybe for just one tiny moment, it motivates you to also light a bulb somewhere in your country, for your country :)

Jai Hind!

The Rising

2005-08-15T00:40:00.000+05:30

[Read on without fear of spoilers]

Till Friday, I had thought that one of the advantages of being outside India would be that one could catch Hindi movies in theatres on the first day and first show without extensive planning and without buying tickets in black. But come Friday, and this concept was revisited, coz when we happily hit the cinema halls at around 7:00 PM for the inaugural 8:00 PM show of Mangal Pandey, we found that the show had been sold out long back.

We had to do with tickets for the 4:30 PM show on Saturday, and we could get these tickets coz we booked them online, in advance. Considering the hype that has surrounded the movie, I was only too eager to watch it and see for myself what was so great about the movie that Aamir Khan had kept his loyal fans waiting for over four years... After the movie gets over, one has to confess that the movie probably doesnt live up to expectations. For lack of a better phrase, "it lacks the punch!"

The good part about the movie is Aamir's performance and his brilliant portrayal of Mangal's character, his intensity and his passion. Otherwise, it would be fair to say that most of the aspects of the movie are disappointing in a way. Considering that it is a period movie set in British times, it is indeed disappointing that there is not even one scene which pumps up your adrenaline, and which invokes your patriotism. This is something that most movies set in the British era have successfully achieved, be it Lagaan or be it 1942 - A Love Story... and The Rising misses out on this basic ingredient.

However, you cannot blame Aamir for the disappointment, because the problem probably was that the scope of the story was too limited. There is probably not enough substance associated with the legend of Mangal Pandey to make this movie live up to the huge expectations that it has created for itself. Even the music, which though good to the ears, is quite ill-timed in the movie and the songs break out quite abruptly. Also the first half has a lot of plots (some of them totally insignificant) running together, and it has the potential to confuse the average Indian cine-goer.

The movie is nowhere compared to Lagaan, which has been the biggest period film in the history of our cinema, and fails to recreate the passion and thrill that the latter created. However, one thing has ben quite impressive, which is the build up that Aamir Khan has managed to create for this movie. Aamir has the potential to turn an average hit into a super hit... and yesterday I was left wondering that if Aamir Khan had starred in one of the Bhagat Singh movies, he would have managed to pull off a hit, where 5 others failed. Thats because the story of Bhagat Singh had a lot of substance and a hell of a lot of potential for Aamir to convert it into a hit... and substance is precisely where the rising fails to rise.

Melbourne beckons..

2005-08-08T01:57:00.000+05:30

While watching the Ashes coverage on TV here, there is an ad which comes in every alternate break. Its the advert for the World Series in Australia.. the 3 ODIs and 1 Super-test which will see a World XI battle the Australian XI. It was a pretty good advertisement and well, I have been quite influenced by it...

The ad says "4 million people in New Zealand, 60 million people in England, 40 million people in South Africa, 4 million people in the West Indies, 19 million people in Sri Lanka, 12 million people in Zimbabwe, 150 million people in Pakistan, and over a billion people in India... are all dying to get your seat. Do not miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity... book your tickets NOW!"

It was then that I decided that I would actually be a fool to miss out on this opportunity... Initially, I had planned to just go for the test match in Sydney on the weekend, but now, I will also be going to Melbourne to watch one of the one-dayers... Come Monday and I will have the tickets booked... I guess it would cost me quite a bit, but what the hell.. its all worth it!

Paralysis of Analysis

2005-08-04T10:33:00.000+05:30

Read an article on rediff yesterday which talks about the "paralysis of analysis" at B-Schools and it goes on to underline one of my strong beliefs, which is that the curriculum in Business schools needs to be tweaked a bit, because grades & numbers, cases & quizzes, theory & simulations do not teach one how to do business, or even how to excel at a job.

Business (or at a micro level, a job) is based on people, and it is soft skills that make you excel at work; the same soft skills which are never taught explicitly in our B-schools. There is seldom a course which is aimed at improving people skills, decision making ability, relationship management, etc... these are they very core values on which a business thrives. So, while there are huge efforts to hone our abilities to devise financial srategies for derivatives and guage consumer behaviour, the attempts to develop the softer aspects are very feeble.

All said and done, campus life does make most of us stronger in team skills, initiative, stress handling, etc due to the group-work, extra curriculars and the pressure of balancing the academic and personal life. But still, it doesnt make us strong enough to cope with real-life situations, doesnt lend us the skill to get work done out of people, doesnt lend us the ability to strike relationships which are the very basis of any business. And the onus lies on the student to make a choice... whether to get entangled in the academic rigour which would make you great at analysis and theory, or to make the more difficult decision of taking a step back and not get involved in the rat race, but consciuosly try to sharpen the people skills. And obviously, the peer pressure is too high to go for the second alternative.

In line with these thoughts, there was another article that I came across which states that slowly but surely B-schools are waking up to this need. Would be great to see them more aligned with the real needs of management education

The Big B

2005-07-29T20:57:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I saw Sholay yet once again, after a long interval, and was relieved to find that I still remembered all the dialogues and had not lost my touch yet. Ram Gopal Verma, who is making a today's version of Sholay, has said that he has watched the movie at least 500 times. And till I read that interview of his, I was considering my feat of having watched it around 50 times, to be quite unique! But yeah, now I have resigned to the fact that I am just one of the many ardent fans that the Big B has.

While in Mumbai, I saw on a news channel, that a bunch of people in Calcutta actually worshipped him on Guru Poornima. Also, one of my friends told me that there was an Amitabh superfan contest going on and that I should participate, since I was the biggest AB fan that he had known. But while I am a huge fan, I have never done crazy stuff which a lot of people may have done for their idol, like worshipping him, or installing his statuette etc.

Also, I can never call myself a 'superfan' till I manage to watch all the movies starring Amitabh. The list of AB movies I havent been able to watch is as follows:

Pyar Ki Kahani (1971 movie with Tanuja)
Ek Nazar (with Jaya Bachchan - 1972 I think)
Sanjog (with Aruna Irani)
Kasauti (with Hema Malini)
Kyun... Ho gaya na (2004 - Vivek Oberoi/Ash)
Aetbaar (2004 - Vikram Bhatt movie with John Abraham)
Paheli (2005 - Amol Palekar movie)

The last 3 are movies I can catch up anytime, and intend to do so soon, but the first 4 are Amitabh's pre-Zanjeer flops, which have disappeared without trace and are not available anywhere... my only hope would have been to catch them on Zee Cinema or some other sidey channel sometime, just like I got to see Bansi Birju, Gehri Chaal, Benaam, etc.

Speaking of movies, the last few days have been exceptionally good, with me having caught up on some of my all time favourites, including A Few Good Men, The Godfather and Sholay. While I am at it, intend to see Deewar and Trishul soon as well.. and that would complete the circle

Hello Again!

2005-07-21T07:05:00.000+05:30

Well, finally have managed to get back to my blog after more than 2 weeks. I had jotted down quite a bit on my laptop, but had not been able to connect it to net so far.

Have posted 3 articles written at different times of my journey... Will be active once again when I reach Sydney. See ya :)

Ooh Calcutta!

2005-07-21T06:59:00.000+05:30

This piece was written at 1:20 AM on Wednesday 20th July 2005 from home

‘Nostalgia’ is the word which can aptly describe my feelings on the Calcutta trip (somehow I have never grown to call it Kolkata). The nostalgic bouts started on the flight itself, when the in-flight newspaper was ‘The Telegraph’, the newspaper that I grew up reading and have read for the better part of my 22 years there. And like the rest of the city, not much has changed in the newpaper too… even the cartoon strips remain the same.

Was great to meet old childhood and school friends after a long time… and most of them were pleasantly surprised at the change in appearance that I carried. If they were expecting the skinny, ugly boy of 54 kgs that they had bid farewell to 2 ½ years back, they were in for a surprise as they were greeted by this not-skinny, beer-bellied (though still ugly!!) man of 68 kgs

Calcutta is pretty much the way I had left it, albeit a few improvements in the road infrastructures and a few more urban structures like the Shoppers Stops and Crossroads and Inoxes etc etc. In spite of having cursed and abused the city for 22 years of my life, I seem to love it in a way.. and would always look back at it with an air of pleasant nostalgia..

Back to Campus

2005-07-21T06:57:00.000+05:30

This piece was written at 11:05 AM on Saturday 16th July 2005 on the flight from Bangalore to Calcutta

The 3.5 days spent at the campus were great. It seemed so long back when I was right there, in the middle of everything, enjoying my life like I never had enjoyed before, and I guess like I would never enjoy in future. Though it felt great to be back to my good old home again, campus isn’t really the same without the people in it when you were there. Ya… the juniors are still there, but then there are so many faces you cannot recognize and who do not recognize you….

Not much has changed on campus since I left it 4 months back, except for the fact that the block that I resided in for all my tenure at IIMB, the B Block, which was known as Chandni Bar, has now been allotted to females L So now, my erstwhile room, which used to be adorned by empty daaru bottles of all kinds, is now graced by baby photographs (ughhh)

The short stay made me yearn to be back in campus again, and live a life full of enjoyment and without any work pressures as such… sigh…

The Journey Back

2005-07-21T06:55:00.001+05:30

This piece was written at 6:10 AM on Sunday July 10th 2005 from the Delhi Airport

Am back to India, and its disappointing that the break I was so looking forward to started on a wrong footing.

First the good part: In spite of sleeping less than 4 hours in my last 48 hours in Sydney, I managed to make it to the airport in time for the flight, and had a nice and problem-free flight to Bangkok. It was nice because I could sleep for most part of the 9-hour flight, waking only in small intervals for food breaks.

Then comes the not-bad-though-not-great part : Some small issue with my baggage kept me waiting at the Bangkok Airport for more than the usual time, and then I finally checked into the Hotel Airport Amari at 8:30 am for my 12+ hour layover. I had elaborate plans to go out into the city and explore… also do a bit of shopping, etc… and obviously all these plans went out of the window, when I decided to take a one-hour nap and woke up only at 2:00 pm.

Nevertheless, I would have felt guilty and cursed myself like crazy if I missed seeing the city.. So boarded a cab and got hopelessly stuck in traffic (which btw, is worse than India) for one and half hours. So, when I finally reached the shopping mall suggested by the concierge at the hotel, I found that I had less than an hour in which I wanted to have some grub and shop as well. So, hunted all over for some veggie food… finally settled for something which was like raw bread and raw salad, then hurriedly bought a couple of T-shirts and hurried back home, thankfully making it in time for the flight again.

Now comes the bad part: It all started when the Bangkok Airport officials (useless buggers) banged the boarding elevator into the flight door minutes before take off, and created an alarm. The plane had to be vacated and thoroughly checked, and ultimately it was decided that the plane was not fit to fly and we had to shift air-crafts. All this translated into a delay of more than 3 hours.

This miniscule delay translated into the fact that I would miss my connecting Air-India flight from Delhi to Mumbai which was at a gap of 2 hours, and since I could not make a call for cancellation, it meant that it would be a no-show and I would get no refund :( When I finally cleared immigration at the Delhi Airport at 3:00 AM, I found that the chaman who was supposed to deliver my domestic tickets to me at the airport had obviously decided that I was either dead or underground and had happily gone back. A few quick and angry wake up calls had to be made to ensure that the tickets get delivered to me in Mumbai tomorrow.

Since I had no domestic ticket, the officials didn’t allow me to take the inter-airport terminal coach, and I had to haggle with the auto-wallah, who was trying to max out the opportunity by asking for an absurd 550 bucks for dropping me at the domestic terminal. After 10 mins of quibbling, we settled for 150 bucks. 4:00 AM at the domestic terminal, and I had to purchase a ticket for the earliest Mumbai flight on Jet, which left at 6:50. Slept another couple of hours at the airport, still cursing the Thai officials for being so reckless with the equipment… hopeless incompetent geeks :-

Again, it doesn’t end at this: The dentist appointment at 10:00 AM for my tooth extraction now has to be cancelled and re-scheduled. This incident underlines the importance of a management funda which is so much talked about : Contingency Planning or Business Continuity Planning (BCP). Goes on to show how so much depends on external factors and any amount of meticulous and seemingly-perfect planning can finally go haywire if just one small plug is pulled out!

Anyways, good morning India… and hoping that the rest of the trip is much different

Bangkok!

2005-07-06T23:27:00.000+05:30

Tomorrow will be embarking on my return journey to Swades... Am quite excited by the prospect of the holiday, when I will be in my country without any work pressures, and travelling all over the place. I had never imagined myself having such a meticulously planned vacation... I have readied all my visa papers and forex application and insurance papers sitting here in Sydney, and when I land in Delhi at midnight on Saturday, I have arranged for an agent to collect all my papers and passport, and hand over my onward tickets (Del-Bom-Blr-Ccu-Bom-HK-Syd-HK-Del) to me. Wonder what would happen if he doesnt turn up, coz I am booked on the 2 am flight to Mumbai the same night...

Anyways, more important than the planning and the agent, is the fact that I have 12 hours on Saturday to spend in Bangkok. The layover there parctically takes the whole day, and after sleeping all thru the flight, I guess I might be in the mood to explore the city... So anyone who has been there, would be great if you can give me a few fundae as to what one can do in the city in 12 hours..

One of my seniors from IIMB who had been to Bangkok on an International Business in Practice course, had put across the demographic composition of the city in very simple terms. He had said that the entire population in bangkok can be classified into 3 categories : prostitutes, pimps and tourists :) According to hearsay, in Bangkok, practically every person, barring the guy who stamps your passport at immigration, would ask you if you want a 'massage'. I am quite excited by the prospect of visiting such a sleazy city, even though I have absolutely no intention to explore the grey areas!

Heard that the city is good for shopping... but I totally dread the prospect of shopping. I somehow fail to understand how some people (esp women) can get kicks out of visiting thousands of shops, with nothing particular in mind to buy, and end up getting their hands so full of shopping bags that they cant even carry them back home without help. For them, shopping is an 'experience'...for me its more of an ordeal... So probably will try to do some sight-seeing in the 12 hours, if anything there is worth seeing.

Cheers!

A Dreary Post...

2005-07-06T07:35:00.000+05:30

Its been 5 days since my last post... yeah I have been planning to get on to the blog and scribble something, but never got the time. A lot has happened over these 5 days, but nothing too significant. The most significant event though, would have been the clicking of my picture with the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge. It feels good to get photographed with stuff you have always seen in postcards! Will put up the picture here soon... may add some colour to my dull posts..

Otherwise, have been contemplating going to a dentist for the past 10 days. Have managed to develop an acute toothache in one of my wisdon teeth... when I had been to a dentist before coming here, I was advised to get that decaying tooth extracted, which I obviously ignored, and am now regretting it. So the first thing I am going to do when I land in India is get my tooth tended to, and most probably extracted... and am hoping that till then I will manage to survive on the daily dose of 2 pain killers..

Apart from the sight-seeing, the other highlight of the weekend was the host of sporting activity... Right from the lashing received by Roddick at the hands of Federer, to the tied final between Australia & England, to the amazing performance by Alonso and Raikkonen (who started in 13th, and finished runners-up... McLaren rocks!!) in the French Grand Prix... Plus, my 'home' team Sydney, won in the Footy League on Sunday.

Seems like this is one of my worst posts... its like the daily account of whats happening to me... anyways, today was not a good day in terms of having enough peace of mind to do some constructive writing...

Hobby!

2005-07-01T00:31:00.000+05:30

Well, yesterday the Big Boss of our division paid us a visit from New York and spent the day with us. He is 4 Layers above me in hierarchy, but is yet very amiable and friendly. He is known to have a sense of humour too, and a knack of taking people's case on and off, and enjoys to put people in a spot some times (but all in good spirits) . Before I could know, on dinner I was the target for a short while. The conversation went somewhat like this:

Big Boss : So Nirav, what do you do as a hobby?
Me : I am interested in sports...
Big Boss : Really, so what do you play?
Me : Actually, I just follow... I lack any kind of talent to play anything
Big Boss : But, thats watching TV... and its not a real hobby... what else?
Me : Well, i am a movie freak... especially Indian movies..
Big Boss : But you dont act right? So its again like watching TV.
Me : Ummm.... well, but thats a hobby too....
Big Boss : Naah... we have to get you a real hobby now... how about surfing?
Me : Well, I wouldnt mind trying.... it should be fun...
Big Boss : "Wouldnt mind'?? Its supposed to be a hobby, and not an ordeal..
Me : Okay..to rephrase it... I would love to..
Big Boss : Sure?
Me : Yeah...sure
Big Boss (to everyone) : Well, Nirav has just agreed that the next time I am here, we will see him on the beach, wearing long bermuda shorts, jazzy flourescent sleeveless t-shirt, sunglasses, and a surf-board tucked under his arm... and he will teach us surfing!

And he actually meant it too... and to rub it in.. he even slipped in a quiet "I am actually serious" into my ear. And the worst part was when I asked him about his hobby, hoping that I would be able probably turn the tables a bit, he replied "Oh, I have a flying license and so I fly airplanes, own and sail a boat, do a bit of dance, practice karate... "and a lot of other things which I lost

Thinking of it, if watching sports or movies is not a 'real' hobby... then I need to find a hobby soon :)

Going past a 100!

2005-06-29T21:35:00.002+05:30

Feels great to cross the 100 strikes milestone :) It does go on to give me an assurance that someone is actually vella enough to read my blog, even though about a quarter of the 120 strikes would be from me only! Even though one blogs for his own self, things cannot be the same without an audience.

Apart from this, nothin much to write home about, except that my Mom has finally reached Sydney with an excitement of visiting a new country and meeting new people, but I am sure that at the end of her 10 day visit she would be itching to get back home. Took her around the city a bit, and yesterday we visited the famous Sydney Aquarium, where I clicked my first pics in Sydney... can you believe it, 3 months here, and I did not have a single photo to prove that I was actually here, and not in Tihar Jail.

Its just 9 days before I head back to the long and exhausting holiday waiting for me in India!

Getting hooked ...

2005-06-27T06:27:00.000+05:30

Dont know if it happens with anyone else, but I am quite prone to it. It has happened to me several times that I have heard a song, and got hooked on to it for a reasonable length of time, in which I keep playing it again and again till I finally get tired of it, and get a new song to get hooked on to.

In the recent past, I have been successfully hooked to a lot of songs including Coming Back to Life (Floyd), the Swades title song, Nothing Else Matters (Metallica), Bhool Ja (Shaan), Bandein (Indian Ocean) etc etc. I was even hooked on to a song called Karishma by Bombay Vikings for a short time.

But one song which I have pioneered and with which I have managed to irritate quite a few people is 'Tum to thehre Pardesi' by Altaf Raja. There is something about that song which I immensely enjoy, and I have long had the lyrics of the mammoth 14.5 minute song memorized.

The latest tune that I have hooked myself to is called Aadat by a Pakistani band called Jal. It has a catchy theme and tune, and I have kinda fallen for it... lets see how long it lasts!

Driving thru Sydney

2005-06-26T13:05:00.000+05:30

Today was a quiet day by all standards, and a kind of day I like! After partying till 5:30 AM, I had crashed on the couch at my place, and woke up straight at 1:00 PM, only to go back to sleep and wake up at around 3:00PM. Simran, one of my colleagues had asked me to drive her and her mom to the airport, to see off her mom back to India, and I had readily agreed because I had nothing better to do, and I liked driving in Sydney. The only issue was that I didnt know the route to the airport, and wanted to know it coz I will have to drive to pick up my Mom on Monday morning (yeah... she's coming over for 10 days or so)

So I surfed the net, asked a couple of local friends, and mapped out the way, and also reached the airport without any mistake... Sydney as such has great road infra, and all you have to do is be guided by the road signboards, and you'll be there. However, I had to goof up somewhere, and so I did when I parked in the domestic parking lot... and we had to drive out, take another route and then go to the international parking lot.

After the farewell, we teamed up with another friend of ours Sachin, and had dinner at a great Indian place called "A Thousand Spices", and I hogged away, coz all I had in the day was a Maggi which I had reluctantly made in the evening when I couldnt stand the hunger any longer. Anyways, after the dinner, and the masala chai at Sachin's place, I managed to drive us all back without getting lost again.

The more I drive in this city, the more I love driving here. I just realized today, that I have never used the horn in my car, and its such a striking contrast to India. Also, the driving rules here are pretty much similar to India, with a few exceptions. One is that the pedestrian always gets the first charge... so if there is a guy crossing the street, the car is supposed to stop, even if it disrupts the entire traffic. Another is the amber or yellow light. In India, you are supposed to stop or get ready to brake when the amber light flashes... but here, you are supposed to cross on the amber... and if you dont, its a traffic violation!

Its already 1 AM, and I plan to do my wEek's laundry, and then watch some Wimbledon and then have an early and uncharacteristic Saturday night (though I am enjoying it)... maybe I am growing old too fast :)

Technology...

2005-06-24T23:56:00.000+05:30

Till I started blogging, I didnt even know the people in my institute who are regular bloggers, barring a few.. but now, I am slowly getting a hang of it. However, as I got around to visit different blog sites, the fact got rubbed in even more vigorously, that I am hopelessly technologically challenged.

Well, I could probably work great with office tools like excel, project, powerpoint, etc.. but beyond these applications, technology fails me. Well, other blog sites have all different links, tag boards, etc etc, and I have struggled so far to even upload my picture. It took me a week to figure out how to instal site meter at my blog. (If someone reads this and knows how to put up a photograph on the site, insted of laughing at me please help me out)

The background to this is probably the fact that I am a commerce student, and have never played with these gadgets much before, and maybe part of it is just a mental block (though I am not known for having any mental blocks ever)... but well, to my credit, at IIMB, I used to manage our internal site for the placement committee for quite some time where all the resumes, etc were uploaded and where all the links were put up.. and I did it without knowing a shit about what I was doing... all I did was memorize all the procedures, and then it was all too easy :)

Holiday Planning

2005-06-23T11:32:00.000+05:30

Today, finally, I finalized my itinerary for the 10-odd days that I am going to spend in India on vacation. I am in Sydney on a 3-month Business Visa, which expires on 10th July. So I leave Sydney on 8th July, and return on the 22nd. Now, in these 12 days that I have in India, I have a lot of things to do, and a lot of places to go to because of a variety of reasons.

So making up my itinerary was also an exhaustive task, and finally when it is done, it is indeed a piece of art. The following is a high-level summary of my holiday plan.

Friday 8th July : Leave Sydney
Saturday 9th July : Reach Delhi
Sunday 10th July : Reach Mumbai
Monday 11th July : Apply for Visa, Forex, Insurance, and do other paperwork
Tuesday 12th July : Reach Bangalore
Wednesday 13th July : Chillout in Bangalore
Thursday 14th July : Chillout in Bangalore
Friday 15th July : Reach Calcutta
Saturday 16th July : Fun in Calcutta, re-union with old pals
Sunday 17th July : Leave for Shikharjee (a religious place for Jains in Jharkhand)
Monday 18th July : Reach Shikharjee, worship God
Tuesday 19th July : Leave for Mumbai
Wednesday 20th July : Reach Mumbai and pack
Thursday 21st July : Leave for Sydney

I am so proud of this itinerary :) Only issue is, that the concept behind a holiday is to recharge batteries, and to get all energized again for work... but in this case, even if I manage to survive this break, plus the 13 hour flights to and from Sydney plus the time-zone adjustments, I would be anything but raring to go to work again.

Fire!

2005-06-22T10:20:00.000+05:30

Today, they had the fire drill at office... Whew! the funda with the drill is that its date and time is kept unknown from everyone, so that the surprise element can remain, and then, suddenly you would have a voice blasting on the PA system that there is the fire drill and everyone has to follow protocol and evacuate the office building.

Of course this meant that bang in the middle of a busy day, we found ourselves climbing down 27 floors on foot. The steps would never end, and by the time I was down to the ground floor, my legs were tired and wobbly. I was kind of amazed at the lack of strength in my legs, and it made me even more determined to have some sorta physical exercise from now on... maybe some aussie footy, which a few doods play in office... or maybe just jogging... but i dont think i'm determined enough to execute it.

Though, what was more amazing was the drill. It was incredible to see 2500 employees of the office down in the park opposite the building following the drill, while the wardens did their job of taking the headcount, and the sweepers scrutinized all floors. One hour of unexpected break from work, and while we were down, we did a quick guesstimate to the loss in revenue due to this sudden inactivity, and even with the most conservative of assumptions, it ran into hundereds of thousands of dollars.

Its good to see the company so serious about the drill, but thats the way it works here. The fire systems are truly remarkable. The smoke detectors are very sensitive, which means that if someone is not careful while smoking or even cooking parathas, the detectors would be triggered off and the room alarm would go off. In precisely a minute the floor would be alerted, and within 5-7 minuted the fire trucks would be there, notified through the detectors.

But today, all of that for no smoke and no fire as well... and it contributed to lengthening the day by a bit... and as we went up again after an hour, we were wondering, what if there was a real fire break-out immediately after the drill ... god... to have had to go thru that again would have been deadly :)

Taking Notes

2005-06-21T08:55:00.000+05:30

All through my academic life, I have never believed in taking notes. It was something I just couldn't do. I remember having been thrown out of classes in college because I used to walk in empty handed, without any scrap of paper or pen, and then snore off at the slightest opportunity. Even at the coaching classes that I went to, I always forgot to carry any notebook or pen. I remember being proud of the fact that I had survived the entire Class XIIth carrying just one notebook to school.

Anyways, the matter now is that, notes-taking has hit back at me with a vengeance. In 2.5 months of work-life, I have filled out a couple of note-pads (large sized) with everyday notes, to-do lists, minutes, etc etc. I had never imagined myself being so documentation oriented... but 2.5 months into work, I have realized that the document is THE most important thing. And back I go to taking notes... but the difference is that now I do out of choice something which I dreaded for most of my life

Cheers!

The Friday Moods

2005-06-18T08:38:00.000+05:30

Come Friday evevning, and you can easily perceive the switch in the mood of the entire city. Never have I seen a city which parties as crazily as Sydney does (partly to do with the fact that its only the 2nd city I have seen outside India, the first being Kathmandu), but veterans who have travelled possibly to every corner of the world, are also amazed by the energy amassed by the city on weekends.

Say you are Rip van Winkle, and you wake up from a deep slumber which has stretched on for years, and the moment you wake up, you will be able to tell whether its a Friday/Saturday in Sydney or not. On Fridays, the locals start leaving office at around 4:30... and start thronging at bars, pubs etc by 7:30. If you start your party after 11 PM, chances are that you won't find a decent place to go to, or maybe any place to go to, coz all of them would be full.

I have had the fortune of having been disallowed entry in several places, coz we were late and all that the bouncers say then, with a grim face is "Guest Lists only". One night was specially crazy, when we would have hopped over 8 pubs and bars without being able to enter into any one of them. 4 AM on Friday or Saturday night in Sydney is like 8 PM in even Mumbai! Its totally buzzing, and ol' Rip van Winkle, if he wakes up at night, will never be able to tell the time.

This weekend, I have sworn that I am not going to work... I have loads to complete for the coming week, and if I dont do anything on the weekend, then I might get killed Monday onwards with the work I have to complete. But for once, I have decided not to go for the logical and practical solution, but to blend with the city's moods. Friday night... here I come!

Ze Art of Blogging!

2005-06-17T21:21:00.000+05:30

Realized yesterday that blogging is a lot more than just penning down thoughts and events. Its a commitment and its probably a passion for those who are good at it. Yesterday, there were a lot of thoughts which I had wanted to capture and put into my blog... but never found the time to do it. When finally I got a free moment and some peace of mind, it was close to midnight, and I desperately wanted to go home and sleep, coz today was supposed to start early too.

So, there went my commitment to write at least once daily, and today I can't recall what all I had wanted to write yesterday. The abstractness and spontaniety of blogging make it imperative that one is regular and prompt with it. And I am kinda afraid that if I lose the promptness, I would lose this thing, almost as soon as I have started it.

Today looks like being a busy day. A couple of days back, late working nights returned with a vengeance, and I am just hoping that working weekends do not follow suit. There was a time, when I was on my own in Calcutta, and then I used to work weekends without any issues, and failed to comprehend why anyone would have problems doing the same. But now, my mindset has changed.. I guess thats the difference between an entrepreneur and an employee... when you work for yourself, you don't see the difference between a Friday and a Saturday, between 6PM and 9PM.... but when you are working for someone else, you want to play by the book.

Anyways... so long for now... will write again today and over the weekend (I am speaking as if theres a lot of people reading my blog... hehe)

Desi Khaana.. Nothing like it!

2005-06-16T10:49:00.000+05:30

Ever since coming to Australia, the cuisine that I have experienced the most has been Indian. If you have lived all your life in India and have gorged over spicy, greasy, good ol' Indian food, then its very difficult to lose touch, even in a place like Sydney, where in a small span you can get more cuisines than you knew existed. Ok, agreed that being a vegetarian gives me an added bias, but then my colleagues here, all of whom are non-veggies would stand by whatever I said.

In my first month and half in Sydney, which was characterized by late working nights, we used to order dinner at office almost daily, and there is an Indian restaurant called Maya da Dhaba, which was our favourite. It had good Indian food, which was good by even desi standards, leave alone the firang-desi standards. We ordered so many times from that place that we got tired of the excellent food, and vowed never to order from there again... at least in the short run.

Guess what, today the short run is over!! After a couple of relaxed weeks, seems like the grind has returned... When I called up Maya da Dhaba to place the order tonight, the guy was delighted to hear my voice, and said that ie had been a long time and all... :)) And in went a good meal consisting of dal makhani, paneer-da-salan and chicken chettinaad (not for me ofcourse), and you just thank the good god for making you an Indian!!

You can get anything you want in India, but there are so many things specific to our country which you cannot get anywhere else... dont want to delve deep into a topic close to my heart... and with this I am nostalgically reminded of the emotional discussions me and a few friends had at Guru Gardens (a bar kinda place in Bangalore, very close to IIMB) on the movie Swades ... I am sure they would remember these discussions too (Gattu??)

Anyways, the bottomline is : India Rocks!!

Negative Energies

2005-06-15T23:57:00.000+05:30

Hmmm.... its just one of those days, when something just doesn't feel right. Dont know what it is, but there's some piece missing somewhere. It has happened quite a few times with me, when you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and the whole day seems like a waste. Its probably more psychological, and happens when you begin the day on a wrong note, and then it seems to you that nothing is gonna go right from now on.

Am just trying to figure out what could be the incident which triggered this feeling today. Umm... guess it started when I got a little late in waking up. Well, over the past couple of months, I have trained myself, much against my natural instincts, to wake up between 7:30 and 7:45 in the morning, so that I can reach office before 8:45, which gives me time enough to plan my day through. And today, I barely could wake up at 8:15, and rushed to reach office just after 9:00 and straight into the grind. It kind of left me at loss coz I didnt get those precious 15 minutes with myself at the beginning of the day, which I have gotten used to.

Its not that the day at work is totally packed, and I do get time off and on between work, but its nothing like the first 15 minutes of the day. Other than that, I dont see any reason why I should have all the negative energy hanging around me today, especially since nothing is going wrong in terms of work. Lets hope the day ends early and I can go back and find some positive energy in my life.

Cheers!

Movies - What would we do without them?

2005-06-15T05:32:00.000+05:30

Well, I am back... in just a few hours!
Anyways, am back to just scribble about my favourite pastime here (umm... actually anywhere). Yesterday was a holiday in Australia (thanks to the Queen.. it was her birthday), and I used it incredibly well in watching movies.

The first on the block was Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which was on at Hoytz Cinema which is a stone's throw from my place. I woke up at around 12:30pm and decided to call one of my colleagues to find out what was the plan for breakfast (or lunch) and was told that the plan was to catch the 1:30 show! The movie was a nice 'masala' flick, with a lot of hindi film elements, especially the way the protagonists handle innumerable villains with limited weapons and come out kind of unscathed... but it was a good way to start the day with a mindless fast comedy movie, which had the gorgeous Angelina Jolie to feast your eyes on ... my god... she does look absolutely stunning, and is one actress who is irresistable :)

Anyways, we moved on and by the time we were back in our apartment after coffee at around 6:20, another friend and me decided to check if there was a late show of "D" somewhere around Sydney where we could possibly drive out, and were disappointed to find that the last show was at 5:00... but there was a 6:45 pm show of Parineeta, which we could catch. Without thinking twice, we dashed out and were lucky to reach just as the opening titles started..

Parineeta is a classic movie, impeccably made and superbly enacted. I loved the way the characters were handled, and even though it was a storyline quite predictable, I loved watching the movie... and it even reminded me and made me nostalgic of good ol' Calcutta. It was quite facinating how the movie was so similar to Devdas, yet so different. And a very few people would actually relate it back to Devdas. but the truth is that Sarat Chandra Chatterjee had written this classic based on the same setting as Devdas, but with a happy (though fictional) ending... anyways, all the history aside, a good and well made movie.

Nothing like watching a Hindi movie in a cinema hall... thats ultimate bliss :))